Mother Son Banquet at Bald Eagle

At the end of the Mother Son Banquet.... Grumpy and the 39 boys and chiefs from camp closed out the evening with a song (the video clip above) - as a tribute to their mom's.  This is just a portion of the song, but the meaning is clear - we have this moment: yesterday is gone and we are not promised tomorrow. 

I will say that traveling to camp yesterday I was talking and talking talking to myself.  Oddly, or maybe not, I found myself answering as well.  While I had worked on my "speech" for these boys and moms, I was still not satisfied with the flow.  I thought I had the content down, but was just struggling to make is seamless. 

Clearly, if you know me, you know I have no problem speaking to anyone, about anything, but this group had me a bit on edge, because while I wanted to encourage, I did not want to preach. While I wanted to share my hope in Christ, I did not want to make anyone angry that I made living life so simplistic.  I wanted to express the complexity of life without harping on the hardship of life. This is something that the moms and the boys all know too well.  Oh the things that I wanted!  You do know how this will go --- God wins, His words were my words and all that work, simply diminished, as I spoke from my heart to the mom's of broken clay pots. 

Humbly with tears in my eyes I stood before a room of moms at all different stages in the process of hurt and healing with their sons.  I recounted how I got to this place before them. 

How I was never going to get married, never have children.  How in the 12th grade, I met a blond haired blue eyes young man that made me change my mind about at least the marriage thing.  How after four years of high school, college and the military for him, we wed, and that four months later we were expecting our first child.  How there was a big break (5years) between child number 1 and child number 2 because I really was not interested in having any more.  How after #2 child number 3 was born 2 years and one week to the day later.  That that is when I told God I was done with children and sent the Prince to the doctor to have the situation taken care of. For good.

I then shared how God surely laughed a big belly laugh that day, as he alone knew what was to come! 

I simply shared that in a million years I never thought I would be standing before a group sharing my adventures in parenting and offering words that I hoped they could find comfort in or encouragement in. 

I indicated that while one of my cracked pots was there at Bald Eagle, at home life was not smooth sailing, as there were still 7 hot messes that lived at home with us.  An over planner, a three toe tree sloth, one with self esteem issues, one that is content to be a fence sitter, an artsy fartsy, a young adult with the mind of a 2nd grader and a brilliant frustrated child learning to work and live with autism. 

However, what could I expect from these hot messes, since they are being lead by a flaming hot mess, the queen of the cracked pots, ME!   I cry out to the Lord at the end of the day often asking him to throw me a bone that I can hang on to, so that I know I am making a difference in their lives, and while sometimes that bone comes in the form of a note from camp or a teacher at school or a kind word from a neighbor, more often than not I met with silence.  It is in the silence that I hear from the Lord. 

I am reminded that I am a broken cracked vessel but that Proverbs 3:5-6 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding. In all my ways acknowledge the Lord." When I do things my way - I mess it up - but when I trust God I know that cracks and all, God is going to use me for his glory. 

I am reminded also, that my kids are also the same as I; cracked and broken vessels, yet Psalms 104: 24 says "O Lord how plentiful are your works!  In wisdom you made them all, the earth is full of your creatures."  Myself and my children are all God's creatures and we are all different.  I am rejoicing in that, because how boring would our world be if we were all the same! 

I know that my God doesn't make mistakes!  The scriptures are full of stories of men and women that were less than perfect and God choose to use them, despite their flaws for His glory. 

Often times when I look in the mirror I am overcome by my flaws, I am overwhelmed by the flaws in my children, but God made them the way they are (or allowed them to develop the way that they are) and that is not a mistake!   If I could snap my finger and fix them, as a mom, I would.  But I trust that like God continues to refine me, He is at work in the life of each of my children.  Often times their actions cause consequences, but life is learned most often not by telling or living by example, but first by making mistakes and learning from them. Some of us have to go through the struggles multiple times til we get them message, but know that God is not going to give up on us! 

Finally, I shared the Cracked Pot Story.  It goes like this:

A water bearer in India had two large pots, one hung on each end of the pole that he carried on his back to and from the stream to his master's house.  One of the pots was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk form the stream.  The second pot always arrived half empty. 

For two full years this went on,  with the bearer delivering only one and half pots full of water in his master's house. 

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end which it was made.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream,  " I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." 

"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" 

" I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because of this crack in my side that causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws you do not get the full value from your efforts." the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot and in his compassion he said "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." 

Indeed, as they went up the hill the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. 

But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure. 

The bearer said to the pot, " Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the the path, but not on the other pot's side?  That is because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it.  I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back to the master's house you have watered the plants.  For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table.  Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house." 

As we all progress through life, with our unique, but not surprising cracks and flaws, God is going to use us all...  For His Glory!  


Insert large sigh here --- God's thoughts for the evening delivered, by me a cracked and broken pot! 

Dinner was wonderful!  My son served me.  We got our photo taken, we laughed, shared stories.  He wrote me a wonderful letter thanking me for being his mom, and asking forgiveness for the times that he treated me "like crap".   He hand crafted two intertwined cedar hearts and carved our names in them, Grumpy and Mom...

Do we have a long way to go... you bet.  But is there progress, Oh my yes! 

After 20 months we are now closer to graduation from camp than ever before.  Grumpy is strong and healthy, growing taller with every session.  (as evidenced by the fact that his list of needs before returning to camp Tuesday includes 2 pairs of shoes, pants, socks, etc... )  He is healing, he is sharing and he is learning to trust.    And I rejoice that God made him just the way he is.  No mistakes.  Flaws and all. 

I applaud the boys that attend this camp.  They live life out loud.  Their struggles unlike ours that we have learned to clean up or cover over and mask from most of the world, are out in the open for everyone to see.  Out in the open for correction, directions and instruction. 

I applaud the families that make the sacrifice to have their boys there - they are working hard on the home front to pay for this camp, sacrificing time and energy to see that their boys get the care that they need to heal and grow.

I applaud the camp staff and their families for their compassion, love of the Lord and their desire to stand in the gap for all of us parents who's boys are there.  The job is hard, round the clock work, living outdoors, 24 -7 to ensure that life lessons are learned, taught, followed up on, re-taught, re- learned and re-enforced daily.  Sometimes at the sacrifice of their own family time and commitments. 

May the Lord continue to bless this organization, it's efforts and the campers past present and future.

This is life...and you really can't make this stuff up!

Bashful's Work Ethic is Lacking

At the end of my day yesterday, I arrive home with a lot on my mind.  Getting dinner started for the kids, organizing my time until I need to leave at 5:30... and as I enter the kitchen, and drop my keys and phone on the counter, I see spread before me on the 12 foot kitchen table a huge MESS... and a small dwarf whirling around creating.

I inhale deeply, approach the yellow headed dwarf and ask what I think is a very simple question..."What is this big mess?"  (for anyone that had little kids in the early 90's, said in the voice of Molly and the Big Comfy Couch, at the end of her 30 minute show, when she looks around and raises her hands and says: "who made this big mess?" )

Sheepishly Bashful looks at me, places a hand in the air and says, "I am making fish.  For a project.  At school.  I know what I am doing! "  Okay, maybe he does know what he is doing, and maybe he has a plan... but the next question is "when is this due?" 

Drum roll please....  Tomorrow!  "What, I say, you have got to be kidding me.  When did you get this assignment?"  "two weeks ago mom." " Do you have the instructions for this project?"  "No, I don't need them, I know what I am doing." 

I instruct Bashful to stop creating and go get me the paperwork that describes the project.  He digs for a long time in the folders and binders in his backpack, finally withdrawing a goldenrod sheet of paper that has more creases and folds than a ninety-five year old, and with a dramatic flare, produces the directions, simultaneously pronouncing : " See, I know what I am doing." 

It turns out that this project, which was due the 28th of February (even though he claims the date was changed to today the 5th of March)  is an elementary exercise in magnets and or electricity.   Insert head scratch here - what do I know about either of these things?  and on such short notice - NOTHING. 

But in Bashful's defense, he had this !   Once he enlisted the help of the whole family, to procure, bobby pins, magnets, fishing line, poles, scissors, a box from the trash, glue, and construction paper... well viola... a fish pond, with fish that were attracted to the magnet on the end of the rod, with questions about magnetics and electricity on each fish.

Did he complete the project to the extent that it was supposed to be done, I can not vouch for that.  The basics were in place.  As a procrastinator, he needs to learn a valuable lesson about planning, and working ahead and this may be the perfect way to learn that lesson.  Did he give it an A+ effort - nope.  But will he most likely get an A for effort yes, and overall after the deductions for the missing parts I say it was a solid C project. 

While this situation has probably happened at your house occasionally over the years, and the result of throwing something together at the last minute may vary from house to house...Your really can't make this stuff up... 

What is it like to not be able to communicate?

Often we may wonder things like, what is it like to have a broken foot?  What is it like to be invisible?  Or what is it like to not be able to communicate with the spoken word. 

Well Happy, has been experimenting with each of these the last several weeks much to the confusion of the staff at his school. 

Two weekends ago we had a pile of homework to do because Happy determined that he would be invisible.  Hence rendering all his work invisible too.  (I can't seem to understand why his curiosity about things always ends up causing me angst.)  However, we determined that this was not the best format for pretending and that while he enjoyed "not being seen" he really was causing his staff to have to do additional work, via emails to the house, the staff follow up and then falling behind in his work.  In the long run, he determined, on his own that invisibility was not his thing !

Prior to that, he drug his foot behind him for a day.  Insisting that the night before he had sustained an injury on the trampoline that we refused as his parents to address.  He talked the staff into propping up his foot on a chair and surprisingly skipping gym class.  He was a very convincing lame person.  However, when the truth of that pretend session came to light, the deal was that he forgot his locker combination for his gym locker and since his gym clothes were locked inside the locker, he knew he would otherwise get in trouble for a)not dressing for gym and b) having to ask multiple times for the combination that was alluding him, so the lame routine was his creative out.  Since then we have addressed the combination issue by placing it inside his main locker, on a paper in his backpack, on a paper in his gym bag, and in his communication log as well as taped to his desk... No more fake injuries to avoid gym class for Happy!

SO fast forward to yesterday.  He pretended all day that he had lost his voice.  His team leader even questioned if that was the case because he stuck to the silent routine consistently all day - writing notes to communicate with the staff at school.  Sadly, a challenge for all involved based on Happy's inability to spell correctly.  When the Prince addressed this with Happy at home last night, Happy thought long and hard about what had happened during that day.  He responded that his reason for the silent treatment was that he wanted to know what it would be like to not be able to communicate using his voice.  The Prince then asked him if he thought he would enjoy spending the day pretending that he was blind...opps on the Prince's part,  because of course Happy thought that would be a GREAT idea! 

In all this we have tried to express to Happy, that curiosity is wonderful, and we would like to encourage him to explore these types of things, but in that  it has to be done in a controlled enviornment.  NOT at school. 

Anxiously waiting for the day to end, so I can go home and see what antics the dwarf was up to today.  Or maybe not... Really, you can't make this stuff up! 

I've been set up!

Well Happy, who is one of God's special dwarf's had an altercation at school last Thursday that has left us all scratching our heads.  It seems that in light of an upcoming field day, the students had to follow directions, work extra hard and be attentive in the classroom in order to earn the privilege of being out of the building for this special day.  Happy lost his privileges prior to lunch last Thursday, which we believe put him on a downward spiral that lead to the incident...
Rumor on the street is that he stabbed four students with a pencil in the lunchroom, causing enough injury to two of the students to cause the need for bandages. 
Now according to the injured students and to the other witnesses, Happy was the one that not only stabbed the students, but he also stabbed them well enough to cause bleeding. 

Happy's take on this is that he was set up.  This is the story and he is sticking to it.  He claims that all the witnesses are friends of the student who did the stabbing and that they are all conspiring to keep this student out of trouble.  Hence the reason they all said that Happy was the stabber.  We are waiting now for the school to pull the video footage and confirm or deny the situation. 

Really, you can not make this stuff up!

Do I Smell Smoke???

Ah yes, another day at home for the public school children. Election day means that the kids are home with me for the day.  No big deal right, they both slept in, and had a leisurely breakfast... I am getting a lot of work done...day is going great.  As I head out to move vehicles around the driveway, my youngest comes running to me crying that he has a "rush burn" on his hand.  Hum.. well go wash it off I say.  So he goes in the house, and I follow a few minutes later to see that it is more than a "rush burn" it is a thumb pad with a hunk of skin missing from it... So as I am showing a great deal of empathy and sympathy for my young yellow headed dwarf, (which anyone who knows me well, knows that these are not areas of great strength for me) I catch a whiff of something akin to smoke... like wood fire smoke... like fresh air and smoke mixed together. 

I say to Bashful... were you lighting something outside, trying to burn it?  Eyes wide open, shocked that I would accuse him of such a thing... he says emphatically "NO!!"   Sniff, sniff, sniff... sure thing it is smoke that I smell.  "Bashful, can you please tell  me what you are doing outside?" "NOTHING!!"

"Well, maybe I was trying to light some leaves on fire, in my fort, with a lighter that Happy gave me."

There you have it, push too hard and the answers are always there... just not always the answers that make us happy - so it really seems that Happy has a lighter supplier, and he is getting the lighters from school and passing them on to his 9 year old brother... just for kicks and giggles!

Can you make this stuff up? Maybe if you have a lot of time on your hands!

Oh that boy! (Written by Happy's Teacher, today's guest blogger)

True story... again you just can't make this stuff up!

So after lunch during quiet time I hear a female student yell out, Happy you're bleeding!! I look at Happy and say, oh my word, you are bleeding!" Happy looks at me with no concern and lies his head on his desk in the pool of blood... I ask him to come up to my desk and he asks why. I look at him as the blood is dripping from his nose all over the floor and down his chin. He walks up to my desk and begins to bleed all over my desk. I point out the blood on his hands and he proceeds to lick the blood off his palms. I ask him what he thinks he should do and he says, "sit back down?" I say, "ummm noooo, do you think you should go see the nurse" and he looks at me puzzled and says, "why would I need to do that?" I say, "well you are bleeding all over the place". Still unconvinced that he is experiencing anything less than normalcy, I shake my head, laugh to myself, and write him a pass...

Gather up the children for a quick trip to the church...

So, as always there is background to the story -here is the background - my dwarfs do not listen - we have gotten to the place in their lives where they are smarter than I am and know far more than I...

Couple of days ago - Happy was cleaning the van - he had out the vacuum and the Windex, and he spent hours cleaning the inside of the van.  Now remember this is a 15 passenger van that on any given day could supply a small third world country with enough food and water,  to feed at least one meal of great nutritional value along with clothe most of their children and some of the adults (if they were prone to wearing clothing).

While this occupied his time for hours - and there was a small amount of progress made - Happy was thrilled to be entertained, jamming to the radio and working, working, working.  (Keep in mind a few things - he asked permission to do this task, even though it was not on any to do list for the week, and he had assistance setting himself up, ie the extension cord, the radio in  the vehicle on, trash bag for trash, hamper for items to come into the house.)

Yesterday it was a beautiful day.  Happy figured that he would jump in where he left off the day prior with the van cleaning.  Opened up the doors, got out the vacuum, Windex, paper towels, cranked up the music and that is how I found him about an hour after he came home from school - like father like son, in his cleaning glory!

I popped my head into the van and asked what he was up to, to which he caught me up to speed on the fact that the van did not get finished the day before , so he was going to finish it today.  Fine I say, but please turn off the vehicle.  I am not sure that you know how to turn it on without draining the battery. Why yes I do, stupid mother, his body language says to me.  His real language insisting that he knows what he is doing, it is not "science rocket mom"!   I say again that I would just feel better if her were to turn off the vehicle. In response he begins to move towards the front of the vehicle in what I thought was a compliant response to my request to him, and now I know wrongly so, as I thought he was going to turn off the ignition and radio. 

Fast forward to this morning. Pouring down rain.  6 dwarfs loaded in the van to go the church for the work day - hop in, I the great Queen of this land, already in an agitated state because none of them could manage to get moving today in a timely fashion, and place the keys in the ignition, while instructing the dwarfs to quiet down and buckle up. 

Go to throw the van in reverse and something seems off...  it's not on.  Hum turn the key in the ignition again - nothing - no juice - no power - no puttering - NOTHING - the battery is not only drained - it is dead!

So we fly into action, because we are already 10 minutes behind schedule,  jumper cables out of the garage - the female dwarfs  and I move the car closer to the van - the eldest male dwarf googles the correct procedure for jumping a car, because again as the mom I KNOW NOTHING! Did I mention that it was raining ? Did I mention that Happy, knowing he is in hot water wants to talk his way out of this situation and try to say that it was not his fault that the van won't start?  Did I mention that the youngest dwarf was in the midst of an hour long meltdown? Did I mention it was raining? All the while I am being second guessed, by Sneezy &Dopey.

I start to instruct the dwarfs in the fine art of jumping a vehicle as Dopey repeats after viewing,  the steps out loud from the UTube Video that he uploaded on his Ipod....just in case or because(not sure which) I KNOW NOTHING! 

Well sadly, I wish there were a happy ending to this story - That the dwarfs and I were able to restore life to the van, but doing it my way - which was correct-  and the Utube video way yielded nothing, so there is one big white 15 passenger van sitting in the driveway  with no go go juice ...

We will wait for the Prince to ride in on his white stallion (or Chevy pick up) to save the day! Lucky for us we have no where else to go as a large group today!