Saturday, March 24, 2012

Gather up the children for a quick trip to the church...

So, as always there is background to the story -here is the background - my dwarfs do not listen - we have gotten to the place in their lives where they are smarter than I am and know far more than I...

Couple of days ago - Happy was cleaning the van - he had out the vacuum and the Windex, and he spent hours cleaning the inside of the van.  Now remember this is a 15 passenger van that on any given day could supply a small third world country with enough food and water,  to feed at least one meal of great nutritional value along with clothe most of their children and some of the adults (if they were prone to wearing clothing).

While this occupied his time for hours - and there was a small amount of progress made - Happy was thrilled to be entertained, jamming to the radio and working, working, working.  (Keep in mind a few things - he asked permission to do this task, even though it was not on any to do list for the week, and he had assistance setting himself up, ie the extension cord, the radio in  the vehicle on, trash bag for trash, hamper for items to come into the house.)

Yesterday it was a beautiful day.  Happy figured that he would jump in where he left off the day prior with the van cleaning.  Opened up the doors, got out the vacuum, Windex, paper towels, cranked up the music and that is how I found him about an hour after he came home from school - like father like son, in his cleaning glory!

I popped my head into the van and asked what he was up to, to which he caught me up to speed on the fact that the van did not get finished the day before , so he was going to finish it today.  Fine I say, but please turn off the vehicle.  I am not sure that you know how to turn it on without draining the battery. Why yes I do, stupid mother, his body language says to me.  His real language insisting that he knows what he is doing, it is not "science rocket mom"!   I say again that I would just feel better if her were to turn off the vehicle. In response he begins to move towards the front of the vehicle in what I thought was a compliant response to my request to him, and now I know wrongly so, as I thought he was going to turn off the ignition and radio. 

Fast forward to this morning. Pouring down rain.  6 dwarfs loaded in the van to go the church for the work day - hop in, I the great Queen of this land, already in an agitated state because none of them could manage to get moving today in a timely fashion, and place the keys in the ignition, while instructing the dwarfs to quiet down and buckle up. 

Go to throw the van in reverse and something seems off...  it's not on.  Hum turn the key in the ignition again - nothing - no juice - no power - no puttering - NOTHING - the battery is not only drained - it is dead!

So we fly into action, because we are already 10 minutes behind schedule,  jumper cables out of the garage - the female dwarfs  and I move the car closer to the van - the eldest male dwarf googles the correct procedure for jumping a car, because again as the mom I KNOW NOTHING! Did I mention that it was raining ? Did I mention that Happy, knowing he is in hot water wants to talk his way out of this situation and try to say that it was not his fault that the van won't start?  Did I mention that the youngest dwarf was in the midst of an hour long meltdown? Did I mention it was raining? All the while I am being second guessed, by Sneezy &Dopey.

I start to instruct the dwarfs in the fine art of jumping a vehicle as Dopey repeats after viewing,  the steps out loud from the UTube Video that he uploaded on his Ipod....just in case or because(not sure which) I KNOW NOTHING! 

Well sadly, I wish there were a happy ending to this story - That the dwarfs and I were able to restore life to the van, but doing it my way - which was correct-  and the Utube video way yielded nothing, so there is one big white 15 passenger van sitting in the driveway  with no go go juice ...

We will wait for the Prince to ride in on his white stallion (or Chevy pick up) to save the day! Lucky for us we have no where else to go as a large group today!

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