Friday, December 19, 2014

An update on our house guest

I suppose over all, the transition of the great grandmother into the kingdom, has been smooth.  In reality, I believe she thought since she was here on vacation, that we were also going to be on vacation. Sadly, life does not stop in the kingdom and for whatever it is worth, I think she is starting to recognize that.

The transition while relatively smooth has not been without it's bumps in the road.  One whole room of living space on the first floor is now just her space..."the Nan Cave". We still scratch our heads as she blow dries her hand washed clothing with a hair dryer, when we offer free laundry services, and while the pace of the kingdom has slowed to the speed of a heard of turtles mucking through peanut butter when we go out and about... things could be significantly worse.

Here are just a few "moments" in time from this past week in response to all the notes and messages I have been receiving about how things are going with Nan in the kingdom.   :)

I was not sure at what point my home would reach saturation point. You know the point when you do not notice a odd non- Lingle in the midst of the daily chaos.   Today at about 2:30, upon my arrival  from school with a van full of kids, our total head count of dwarfs that call me mom, or friends of a dwarf that call me mom, in kingdom rose to 11.   Today as the various rooms of the house were filled with  piles of dwarfs doing a myriad of activities.  In strolls Nan.  She walks up to the dwarf at the kitchen table, sitting doing his homework, and asks when he got his glasses, she really likes them.  (Alone, a very nice thing to say when starting a conversation.) However what makes this a funny is that she thought that the dwarf at the table was Happy!!   The response of the Non- Lingle dwarf was nonchalant, and appropriate, and he politely played along,  however the remainder of the dwarfs in the room next door stifled giggles a plenty.  Saturation point is reached quickly when you add a 90 year old to the bunch.  We are not sure any longer about her vision...

It seems that there is a very large conspiracy in the kingdom!   We call it the Great Whisper Conspiracy.  Well actually we don't, Nan does.  If we have heard it 10 times, we have heard it a 100 times!   " You all whisper!"  "Why do you talk so softly?"   I think that the event that secured in our minds her lack of hearing was the night that we all were in the living room with the surround sound on watching Guardians of the Galaxy, and around 9:30PM she strolls in, and says in a shocked voice, "Oh, I am so surprised you are all up, it's so quiet here I assumed you went to bed."

We are all in the proverbial "dog house".  We lied to her.  We told her that the weather would be warm here.   It is not warm here it is freezing cold!  Now, I completely understand the whole thin blood thing, and being older... but every day from sun up to sun down, (and the sun has been out every day she has been here except one in two weeks)  the gal is never warm.  She is always cold and does not once pass on the opportunity to tell me that 70 degrees here is different than 70 degrees in PA!

We sat down the third day for dinner and she finally asked if we eat like this everyday?  Doc said, "you mean dinner Nan?"  "Yes, we eat dinner everyday of the week."  "Oh," was the response, followed by, "well I will never loose weight here eating like this everyday!"

 "What's wrong with Grumpy's arm that he has to wear that cast thing on his arm to play basketball?"  We all shook our heads and in unison, yelled "NOTHING, HE THINKS IT MAKES HIM LOOK COOL!"  and indeed that is why he wears his shooting sleeve everywhere he can!

She wanted to gift the dwarfs in the kingdom some cash for Christmas.  She set a dollar amount and told me what to give them all.  A couple days later provided me with the funds, but was off by $40.  The difficulty in explaining the math error is too great, so I am going to take the amount and divide it in my own creative way, and she will even get some change back from the exchange!

There is no way that you can make this stuff up! 

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Silence is Golden... And SHOULD NEVER be taken for granted!

As you all know, I am a huge fan of silence! Good old fashioned peace and quiet.  Always, I consider my infrequent periods of silence as one of the greatest gifts of all times.  I look forward to the kids going to school and having the house to myself for whatever amount of time they are gone, with only the hum of  needed appliances running.   Do not misunderstand, the laughter of children, the chatter of dear friends, music in the background all have their place in life.  But when it comes down to it, you will never catch me turning on the television to "keep me company".  Driving in the car, with the radio on has to be under specific conditions.  They are as follows, a bright sunny warm day, all the windows down, the sunroof open and the my favorite country song blaring through my speakers.    Otherwise, the radio is off.   I am relishing the quiet. 

I suppose that you could assume, and logically so that my aversion to noise is a relatively new, but it is not.  I have always enjoyed peace and quiet.  It has just been elevated in its importance as we increased the number of noise makers in our home!

This past Sunday, I had the distinct pleasure of blessing the woman that is the proud grandmother to the Prince and the great grandmother to the dwarfs, with a personal escort to our new home in Florida for an open ended visit... 

Since her mostly smooth transition into our home, the item that is pushing me further and faster to the crazy crabby woman that I desire not to be, is the noise that has come to this house since her arrival.  From the time she awakes and most times in between, the background noise of the television is heard from one end of the house to the other.   

What I find to be even more laughter inducing, is that she has no ability to work any part of the remote control and television, EXCEPT the up volume button.   

Many times in the last three days (yes it has only been three days), I have gone in or past the "nan" cave and just nudged the remote volume button down a few clicks, only to come back to the other side of the house to  hear the commercials for awkward medical conditions as clear as if there were a television on in the room of which I am standing.   

I may be doing a lot of errand running in the upcoming weeks, for the sole purpose of peace and quiet!

You Really Can't Make this Stuff UP!