Friday, January 27, 2012

There is a lot to be said for laughter vs anger...

Really there is... however it was not until later that I actually was laughing.  As many of you know, I have a small business that helps families prepare meals in advance for their families to help take the stress out of dinner time.  While typically getting ready for the class is not stressful, this past week getting ready, getting through it and getting home were a tad bit overwhelming for even I a seasoned mother of many!

Each week one of my dwarfs will ask if they can accompany me to class.  I believe that it is not so much because they like working with me, but because they like to be able to select dinner from anything in the whole grocery store that we work out of.  This week, on Sunday Dopey asks me to accompany me, for this I am grateful because he has become a strong young man and his brawn will come in handy.  So Monday he confirms that he is still in, and Tuesday at 4 off we go...

Things area going well, and Dopey heads over to select his dinner...  $15 later, dinner is served, yes just for him, I am not having dinner because we are running a bit behind schedule.  We begin to prepare the area for class and suddenly there is a crash... I see Dopey standing and staring at the floor where a green bag is lying, with soy sauce and glass amidst the heap.  I say "let's get this cleaned up." to which he begins removing everything from the bag, glass shards include - at this point I see disaster, so I say, just take the whole thing to the trash.  And he does... leaving in his wake a trail of soy sauce the distance from the accident site to the trash can (which incidentally the can has wheels and could have been moved to the site of the accident), however I digress, now we have another mess to attend to - which puts us about 20 more minutes behind.  I am now in the hole for the evening by $15 for dinner, $1.69 for soy sauce, and $1.00 for a recycle bag that was tossed in the disaster and about 30 minutes.  I now explain to him that we must make up lost time that we are behind, he seems remorseful, and attempts to pick up the pace.  We get set for class right on time.(even though I like to be done in advance so that early arrivals can start early) and I thank him for his efforts.

So you are thinking - what is the big deal - so far so good - be flexible ...  and I am.  The best is yet to come - part way into the evening there is a customer that needs a can opened and because the can is bent Dopey takes it to the back of the store and used an industrial can opener on it, but even with that is still not able to get the entire top off - so I tell him to set the can on the counter and we will pry open the lid.  As I am saying this to the boy- I am also saying, as is the customer - "please be careful that you don't cut... ""Ah.. Mom, I cut myself". 

Now, any of you that know me also know I can't do blood.  I am not capable of it, but there is no one to assist me.  I tell Dopey go to the sink and I start foraging for a band aide.  (Note to self, business needs a first aid kit ). Find two in the back - (have I stated that customers are needing assistance?) I am sure that I look like a woman on the brink right now... and go to the sink where Dopey is washing and ask him on a scale of 1 -10 how bad is it - he says " a 7 -- it hurts really bad...   and it looks pretty deep." "Look",  I say, "I can't do anything - dry off your hand, lets slap these band aides on, and then your dad can look at it when we get home."  "Wear a glove," I tell him for the remainder of the night - and get back to work...  all the time thinking when this is over I am going to have to take him to the ER for stitches.

Okay so the rest of the evening progresses, slowly --- but finally we are done - the items are ready to be packed in the van and I am ready to check out and pay.  I pull the van to the curb, put  on the four ways, get out and start to go into the store to tell Dopey to load the cart, take it to the van, load the van and then wait for me in the van after returning the cart to the cart lot. 

I am at the register paying and said Dwarf is upon me with a soda in hand and a pleading look in his eyes, so add another $1.49 to the tab for the boy for the night and I send him out to the car with my purse and his soda and tell him I will be right there and we will go home and have his dad look at his finger, which is now on a scale of 1-10 a 5.

"Funny story," I say.  "I need to go, can't talk the keys are locked in the van and the van is running... " 
Now this is where the story is a bit tricky.  See for about three weeks the spare set of van keys are missing, and while I have searched high and low for them in the house - in jacket pockets in my purse, I can not find them.  I am anticipating the Prince blowing a gasket now because, if I had not lost the keys, then he could just run to the store and rescue us.  He did a fine job of controlling his anger with me and was even able to walk me through calling for roadside assistance.

"Hello, Roadside Assistance." "Yes, I am outside my van with the keys locked inside and the van is running can you send someone to assist me?"  To which the long and the short of it is this, they were able to come out inside 40 minutes to open the lock (it took longer for them to drive to me than to open the doors) and Dopey and I were on our way, however, we did sit in the cold air for 30 minutes waiting for them to arrive.  Dopey is now shivering - teeth are chattering - and he is saying things like, "Mom the van is mocking us."  "Boy am I glad we are not sleeping on the streets tonight."  All while guzzling his soda... and the amount of money that he is costing me is increasing as I see the fumes from the van burning through my $3.59 a gallon gas... and the potential of an ER run upon arriving home whenever that may be.

At last safely on our way, we arrive home and unload and we recount the story to those we love and we all get a good laugh.  However the funniest part of the story is this...

Wednesday the Prince left me a message saying that he found the spare van keys on the floor of the van.  We chuckle because that means both sets of keys were locked in the van and the locksmith needed to come regardless... but the funniest part is that at lunch yesterday I asked the Prince where in the van he found the keys, to which he responded under the drivers seat. 

DRAMATIC PAUSE, under the drivers seat ????  Wait a minute...  I turn to the Prince and say, " I think you owe me an apology... because it seems that I did not loose the van keys after all.  Three weeks ago when we had the van into the shop,  and had to pick it up after hours, you used my set of keys to drive it home and the spare set were under the drivers seat the whole time, because that is where the guys at the shop put them before they lock up the van....

Really, you  can't make this stuff up...

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