Nope, I am not strong, I just have a strong personality. No I am not brave, I just do not let things I can't control frazzle me. Nope, with 100% certainty I can claim that I am a wimp, a wuss, a glorified, oversized sissy.
This journey started in November. Actually, the growth began as many as 10-12 years ago. A co-worker noticed a lump on my neck. I said it looked normal to me, but went home and asked the Prince. He said he thought it could be a lump, or it could be normal, watch it for a few days and if it does not change call the doctor. I call the family doctor, and 10-12 days later, I check in to see what may be the problem.
Well he says, "I can clearly see a lump". So, off I go get some tests done that will allow my doctor to make a plan. Blood work comes back perfect, ultra sounds show things okay, no one is to pressed about any of it, and I am not even put on a schedule to see a specialist until January 20th. Frankly, I dismiss it from my thoughts, because I rationalize, if it were a big deal, they would be squeezing me into a specialist quickly. I really do not think about it again until the 20th when I went to see the endocrinologist for the first time.
She asks me if I know why I am there to see her. I reply, " seems I have a lump." She asks if I have googled it. I reply, "NO!" She proceeds to tell me that many people over 50 have these nodules, and that until they become a certain size, they are just charted and monitored. For me she says the next step will be to have a six needle biopsy of the growth, because any nodule larger than 1.5 cm they like to "keep an eye on". My growth measured 5.6 cm X 3.1cm X 4.4 cm... just a smidge over the "to be concerned" about size.
I thinks she sees my complexion pale at the words needle and the number six associated with how many needles. I explain my irrational fear, she grants permission for my life size woobie to accompany me, even graciously gives me a happy pill, and we set the appointment for the biopsy two weeks out.
My life size woobie goes with me. The whole thing is horrible. I hate needles. I hate that I hate needles. I hate that I have no control over this fear of needles. Mercifully, it was not a long torture session. We are done in less than 30 minutes with what she assured me were great samples, and we started the waiting game for results. I make an appointment with my surgeon.
By late February, there are still no results on biopsy. The surgery date is scheduled, but the type of surgery is still a mystery. Whole or half... I'm voting whole, and yet the surgeon is saying let's wait on the results. If there is a 51% chance or better that the growth is cancer we will take the whole thyroid and do radiation.
Two weeks prior to surgery the results are in. 30 -80% chance of cancer cells. Not exactly the helpful statistics that we were looking for.
You just can't make this stuff up!