Saturday, December 31, 2011

Wishing you a Happy New Year

2011 has been an eventful, joy filled, tear filled, busy, crazy year of growth, love and grace!

We are so grateful to each of you, for keeping us grounded, sane and focused on the tasks at hand.  Without each of you and your individual roles as family members, church members, friends, neighbors, acquaintances and yes even some strangers along the way, for sure our lives would be less fulfilled, less colorful, and very very ordinary! 

We have had many highs during the past year, and in my estimation, the greatest would be getting away for a whole week with my husband, the Prince, as we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.  We spent a wonderful, relaxing week in Florida... basking in the sun, each other's company, and peace and quiet!

But other things that ranked high on the list include in no particular order...
  • the graduation of our eldest dwarf from high school
  • a fantastic visit from our dear friends from Florida
  • finding a wonderful facility for Grumpy to attend to work out some struggles
  • continuing my business, growing it and finding many new friends on the way
  • the growth of the Prince's ministry in our church and to our community
  • a visit from our favorite Spanish daughter
  • the return of our favorite Korean dwarf
  • Doc having the opportunity to travel to Spain
  • the addition of Lola and Lucy - our black and yellow (Steeler's puppies)
  • the time we had with a special 10 year old Korean dwarf
  • camping with the family and with friends
  • spending time at the pool relaxing in the summer
  • the joy of giving
  • the joy of sharing Christ's love with others
  • the start of Kids Hope USA at our church
  • the love and support of our friends and family
  • Bashful's first basketball season 
  • God's provisions - for just what we need
I find that the best times are when the house is filled with activity, the children are laughing... but in my older age, I am starting to seek out ways to slow down the craziness of life, stay closer to home and to bask in the contentment of experiencing God's great love and grace for me each day. 

May you and your family be blessed as we enter into this new year, relax in the knowledge that trials are to grow, us not break us, that opportunities to serve others before ourselves are available at every turn in the road.  If you are reading this, know that you and your families are loved and cherished by us. 

Happy New Year !!

The Dwarf and the Axe !

This entry will go back a few weeks...but I believe that it is a story that I will remember for a long time, along with all Happy's bus mates, his teacher and his classmates!

Happy's morning routine is typically carried out in SLOW motion.  On this particular school day though he was up and out of bed, before his alarm went off, he was dressed and moved quickly through his breakfast and chores... certainly atypical of this young dwarf. 

As several of the other dwarfs and I are sitting at the breakfast table, we realize that suddenly our tongues and our mouths are tasting odd, and that there is an odd, strong, almost sickening odor coming from somewhere in the house.  This scent is flavoring what we are eating and drinking as we are inhaling it through out noses...

I hop up from the table and go to the stairs, I call up to Happy, the only dwarf up there, " Hey Happy, you okay??"  "Yea mom, I am okay."  But his voice is not coming from his room, or his bathroom...  so I begin to head up the stairs.  As my foot hits the third stair, my nostrils are assaulted by another blast of the smell. Immediately my head starts to hurt, my tongue is thicker and my nose is burning.  By the time I reach the landing and call out to Happy again, I feel as if I may pass out.

I figure by following the sounds of humming, that Happy is camped out in my bathroom, and as I round the corner to the master bedroom to the master bath, I run into a fog screen from an aerosol can. 

" Happy, have you been spraying your father's Axe body spray?", I ask as I have my face buried into the crook of my arm.  "No mom he says."  "Really???" , I reply, I can taste it, I am struggling to breathe in this space...I am going to ask you once more and I would like you to tell me the truth." 

So, yes indeed I repeat the question.  Now perhaps he is not hearing me correctly since now my eyes are watering and my nose and mouth are still buried in the crook of my arm, but would you believe, standing there in the fog of Axe, he continues to deny that he used the Prince's cologne. 

Now let me just say right now, I FIRMLY believe that teenage boys should take responsibility for their hygiene.  Pit music is a must! and Cologne would be fine, in appropriate doses and with the permission and consent of a parent.  Furthermore, I have a big problem with my son's smelling like my husband, that in my mind is just weird... 

But I digress, I ask him for the third time to tell me the truth please, as I point out the obvious ways that I KNOW he has illegally used the Prince's body spray,  and yes three times is the charm because he says that he did use it.  Did I mention that all the while his is nonchalantly combing his hair????

Now here is the quandary - I glance at the clock... it is now time for him to leave for the bus, if he stays to shower this all off, he will miss the bus and be late for school because I will not be able to take him in until the last dwarf gets on the bus at 8:30 .... so ... I have no choice but to send him off in a hurry, now to catch the bus. 

Little did I realize that this was the day of the return of his favorite teacher who had been out for a few weeks on leave.  Was Happy trying to impress her being a well dressed, groomed and fine smelling young man?  We will never know - but I guarantee that day everyone smelled him before they saw him, had to clear their throats in his presence without clearly understanding why, and maybe suffered from a mild headache that cleared once they got out into the fresh air....

This all happened before 7 am ...  you just can't make this stuff up!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

This is why I don't foster, I adopt!!

As many fans our our family know, in October in a crazy whirlwind of activity, we added to our dwarfs, a little one, age 10 from Korea.  How it happened, I do not know, but somewhere between adjusting to 9 dwarfs in the house, and the news of his impending departure from our home... the little bugger stole my heart.  That is right - just wormed his way in there... was it his smile, or his crazy hats?  Maybe the way he said that I am the best cooker ever...or the way that he would wait at dinner to start eating until I got my plate of food and sat down... Either way... today reminds me why we do not foster children.

Sticking him in the car today was the HARDEST thing I have done in years...  I rest in the knowledge that God is in the details...but I am struggling with understanding what I can not see.  What I do see is a boy, who is 10, being moved to a new host home, who is sad and confused. But what I feel is the tug of a mothers heart, having invested hours into his care and comfort.  Halloween costumes, Christmas gifts, lost teeth, monkey bread making, tree cutting, bike riding, hours of homework, drilling spelling words, leaf project, flooding of the office from his bath, tucking him in at night, praying with him, shopping for shoes that were not too heavy so he could run faster, his crazy giggle, his love of wrestling with the Prince and the other dwarfs, his concern when I get weepy at church, his love of video games, his persistence in what he wants...  our lives were intertwined in such a short time. 

As the mom substitute of this little 10 year old, I tried to provide encouragement, settle disputes, comfort him in his sadness, reign him in during times of exuberance... and today, with great pain I said goodbye to him, potentially to not ever hear or see him again.  As I walked back to the house today, with tears in my eyes, greeted at the door by many of my dwarfs, my tears became sobs and I clearly now know why we do not foster children, why we adopt...

My little dwarfs unsure of what to do for a sobbing mother, offered me comfort,  held my hand and offered me Kleenex and encouragement.  As I sit and write this entry, I am binge eating Laughy Taffy (grape of course) and washing it down with a strong diet Pepsi.  (extra caffeine and carbonation)

It is my hope that we touched him, the way that he touched us.  Are we perfect -NOPE - was he perfect -NOPE - but he was a good fit for our family and he will be missed greatly! you just can't make this stuff up!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

FOOD Auction - oh yea!

Well today happened to be one of those unplanned and wonderful days.  After spending 19 hours in the car driving from Florida to PA, we arrived home at 2:15 am... after 5 1/2 hours of sleep, I realized that today was the frozen food auction... I managed to pull myself together, and head out in the van to the auction and here were my deals for this haul...

12-  #5 cans of misc beans( green, black, pinto, and two cans of potaotoes) value of $65  
24 twinkies - value $24
56 chocolate chip cookies - value $15  
4 bags of milk chocolate covered pretzels
6 bags of white chocolate covered pretzels  - value $24.90
4 boxes of snyder hard pretzels - value $14.36
40 strawberry pop tarts - value $10
2 pomolive dish soap - $7
5 Suave deoderants - $18.95
4 boxes of Krimpets  - $ 17.00
2 case of Stride 10 packs each - $22.98
13 boxes of kids cliff bars - $51
30 lbs of hashbrowns - $120.00
6 lbs of turkey meatballs - $59.88
6 packs of mashed potatoes 17.88
4 large frozen red skin mashed potatoes - $28 68
10.5 lbs of white fish - $131.00
8 petite fillets - $57.00
12 tombstone pepperoni pizzas - $ 59.88
3 - 5 lb blocks of sliced american cheese - $27.00
9 lbs of bologna lunchmeat - $ 80.91
10 lb pork shoulder -$71.97
20 lbs of smoked ham - $134.00
10 lbs of boneless ham - $47.00
24 pork chops - $ 131.92
6 lbs of tenderloin - $ 72.00
10 bags of chicken nuggets - $83.00

Grand total retail value - $1,392.....

I scored all this for $360.00  

Really, you can't make this stuff up!   Gotta Love Love Love a good deal!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

A letter from Grumpy

As many of you know - Grumpy has been gone from us for 6 weeks now.  He is currently residing at a therapeutic residential boys camp.  While 6 weeks seems like a long time, the duration of the program is between 18 -24 months in length.  Grumpy is "honeymooning" well (we think in the hopes of getting out early for good behavior) but is starting to wear tired of keeping it together all the time and is beginning  to exhibit some of the issues that caused us to partner with this camp for him!  SO for those of you that are praying...keep it up.  Pray for him to get to the end of himself, that in that brokenness he will come to see what Christ wants for his life!

So I digress -- back to the issue at hand - the celebrations of Moms!

Yesterday was the end of his first 6 weeks.  It was also the night of the Mother Son Banquet.  Here is the letter that my son wrote to me as prior to my coming to dinner:

Dear Mom,
Roses are red, violets are blue, mom I really miss you.
Roses are red, violets are purple and you love is like a giant circle.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I love you and God does too.

I really like your amazing cooking skills.  I appreciate you spending time with me, especially to help me when you could have been spending time with the others in the family. You are amazing because you help me when I am sick, you wash my clothes, and helped me make my room my own.  You also spend lots of time keeping the house neat. Thanks for caring about my health and my educatation.  Thanks for adopting me and my siblings, Sneezy, Happy and Bashful.  You are the best mom in the world and I am proud to be your son.

Love, Grumpy

Well the chiefs at camp thought that Grumpy's letter was among the top 3 letters from the campers to their moms and asked if  he would read it at dinner - He was to shy, but he did allow the chief to read it to the group and there was not a dry eye by the end.

To say that I am proud of Grumpy would be an understatement.  I am excited and hopeful about what the Lord is doing in his life.  I am grateful for the young men of God that stand in my and the Princes absence and teach, and encourage, and minister to these broken boys, each day, 7 days a week, six weeks at a time without a break, because of their love of the Lord and for these boys.     The road is long - the journey seems daunting at times, but God is faithful in all things including this !!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

New Normal

Well time has been flying by at a faster than normal clip these days - seems the older I get, the faster the days pass for me...

Yesterday we took our eldest to college.  There was much speculation about Doc and the beginning of her college career.  Just about as much speculation about how we as her parents were going to hold up.  But I am happy to report, it was time.  Time for Doc to start a new stage in life, time for her to spread her wings, become that independent beautiful creature that God and we, have prepared her to be! And time for her father and I to rejoice in the milestone of our eldest being equipped and ready for this stage of life.  Without our years of faithful and long-suffering love, patience, prayers, and direction, she would not have been so prepared, so I pause for just one small second to say -- well done to myself and the prince!

However for those of you that long for the details - we left our driveway at 6:18 am and progressed to the campus at a rate of 70 mph - in just under 3 hours. We were swiftly escorted to a parking garage and given a number 80 for our dorm and as Faith went to retrieve her room key and paperwork, the prince and I sat back and smiled!  As our car number was called we left the parking garage and headed to the drop off area outside the dorm, where a pile of  students greeted us and helped us carry all of Doc's belongings in to the building... smooth - no blown backs, no repeated trips up and back - in one fell swoop, van emptied.  We selected a bed, a closet, and a dresser and desk and set to making the space her own.

To say we are proud of her would be an understatement. To say that she is one of the great joys in our life would be an accurate assessment of our love for her. In all this, we know that God loves her more than we do, and that it was indeed time for this stage of life!

The van as we started loading it - about two more suitcases went in - another three boxes a backpack and a sports bag and two bags of Doritos! (thanks Aunt Shelly)


Bryan singing his happy Duke's song as we got off the exit for the campus!  

Walking up to Doc's dorm from the Quad

The Prince and I left the campus at 1:10 - we never felt the earth quake and neither did she... we prayed with her, hugged and kissed her, and said our good byes... not a single tear was shed.  You can't make this stuff up!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

I can't believe it my eldest is a Duke!

Well today started out bright and early.  The hubby and I were headed to the school of  Doc's dreams, to "springboard" into the college experience with her, our eldest! 

First of all I wonder, "Am I really old enough to have a child that is going to college?"  Well yes, yes I am!   Secondly I wondered about this university.  With all the choices for higher education out there, we really stood back and let our eldest apply to, any and all schools of her choosing. 

We tried to stay out of the mix, knowing that if she was accepted to schools that she was interested in, the chances of her actually attending classes and doing well would significantly increase! 

Graduation was a great opportunity to beam with pride as I watched my eldest take yet another step towards becoming a wonderful, independent young woman.  It was a chance to reflect, and laugh and cry.  It was also a great opportunity to throw a BIG party! However in the midst of all that, I still did not really grasp the next stage, or the "big deal" about what is lying around the corner.  In my mind, while it was the next logical step, I was concerned because I was not stressed about it or overly concerned per say. 

College.  Acceptance to her "dream" school.  A new mailing address.  Independent thinking.  Making decisions without my input or insight or years of wisdom. (insert chuckle here)  Was I as ready for this as I thought I was?  Was Doc ready for this stage in life?

So backing up to our departure time for this "springboard" event...

4:45 am is a great time to go for a run, but not such a great time to go from lying down to sitting in a car for 2 1/2 hours... so I after some chatter, I find a semi- comfortable position in my seat and proceed to do what every good and concerned mother would do in this situation.... catch up on some sleep! 

Now keep in mind this is my first trip to the university.  Doc and her father have traveled this road together before, frankly on the way to many a vacation spots over the years, I have also traveled this road, however the purpose of this trip down 81 was to stop off  and visit "our dream school" ...not continue on to another destination. 

So off to sleep I go as slight and delicate snores coming from myself in the backseat (so I was informed) I wake just in time to change into my "walking" shoes, arriving in the parking lot of the university refreshed and in need of coffee at about 7:45 am.  As we enter the parking lot we are greeted by a purple cheer-er... okay so there really is a name for them, they are OPA's - and throughout the day I would see many of these young adults in purple cheering us on to our next location, encouraging us with kind words, asking us if we needed assistance...  as I begin to wonder, "Will Doc become one of these purple people in years to come?" 

We are almost immediately split off from our first born.  She is headed to do student registration and we are headed in the opposite direction for parent registration.  We meet again to be herded into the auditorium for some combined welcoming information and a basic overview of the day. 

So far my view of the campus has been limited, as has been my interaction with the the people other than other parents and the purple cheer squad.  Yet I still am at peace. I feel comfortable.  I think I like it here.  The walk in from the parking lot was nice and scenic, but somewhat limited, and with a speed walker as a husband and an anxious child, there really was not time for taking in the beauty around me, that would just have to wait.

As far as I was able to capture in my time standing in the very long line to use the ladies restroom during breaks, this university prides itself on friendliness, and integrating the families and students into the fold as quickly as possible, and I don't just mean, writing the checks for tuition.  Many of the "seasoned" moms in line stated that other universities just mailed details to their home for their student, there was no formal information day like this event, that here at this university, they went above and beyond what was expected to make sure everyone, parent and students, felt welcomed, informed and encouraged.  We heard from an assortment of administration heads, and even the president of the university himself, regarding ways to be involved, the services at the school for us and our students.  We got to eat lunch in the dining hall, that by the way is ranked #3 in the nation according to the Princeton review... and talk to staff and administrators in any area of the school where we were needing additional direction or assistance figuring things out. 

Now being that this was my first experience at said university, really any university in over 20 years,  I would say that I was significantly impressed!  Once I was able to make it outside for a walk on the campus with my "sweet" tea, ( until that moment I forgot that I was down south!) I was able to see the beauty of this fully mature, well manicured, well maintained campus.  No wonder Doc fell in love with it so many years ago!  It really felt like an extension of home. 

It would be an understatement to say that it was a long day.  Six hours sitting in a car - 7 hours sitting in meetings is a lot of sitting for such a beautiful day as yesterday. But the trip was such a blessing to this mom.  My soul is at peace, not only about the choice that my daughter has made, and may I say, all by herself, but also in the location, the facilities, the administration and staff, the fellow students....and the fact that she is ready for this new stage in her life! 

But more importantly,  I don't have to feel guilty about NOT being anxious or concerned about her being ready for this transition now that I fully grasp and understand it ! As I indicated, earlier my sleep on the way to the campus, was born out of comfort knowing that Doc is prepared, socially, academically, spiritually for this next phase in her life. 

The day just secured those facts in my mind as well as a few others that I had been thinking but was hesitant to say out loud for fear of sounding harsh and unkind.  But thanks to the purple OPA's I feel free to express even these thougths in love and with a smile to my adult daughter as she heads out to university:

No, I will not send money - You should get a job!
No, you do not need your car - take the free bus that runs on and off campus!
I am sorry you don't feel well, have you tried washing your sheets?

It was great to hear over and over again that there is no room at this campus for helicopter parents! That I do not need to feel guilty because I am not overly anxious, or concerned about how Doc will manage without me, because she is doing that already. 

I am proud of her and of the young woman that we have raised.  Here is a cheer to the future! 

GO Dukes!