Thursday, December 29, 2011

This is why I don't foster, I adopt!!

As many fans our our family know, in October in a crazy whirlwind of activity, we added to our dwarfs, a little one, age 10 from Korea.  How it happened, I do not know, but somewhere between adjusting to 9 dwarfs in the house, and the news of his impending departure from our home... the little bugger stole my heart.  That is right - just wormed his way in there... was it his smile, or his crazy hats?  Maybe the way he said that I am the best cooker ever...or the way that he would wait at dinner to start eating until I got my plate of food and sat down... Either way... today reminds me why we do not foster children.

Sticking him in the car today was the HARDEST thing I have done in years...  I rest in the knowledge that God is in the details...but I am struggling with understanding what I can not see.  What I do see is a boy, who is 10, being moved to a new host home, who is sad and confused. But what I feel is the tug of a mothers heart, having invested hours into his care and comfort.  Halloween costumes, Christmas gifts, lost teeth, monkey bread making, tree cutting, bike riding, hours of homework, drilling spelling words, leaf project, flooding of the office from his bath, tucking him in at night, praying with him, shopping for shoes that were not too heavy so he could run faster, his crazy giggle, his love of wrestling with the Prince and the other dwarfs, his concern when I get weepy at church, his love of video games, his persistence in what he wants...  our lives were intertwined in such a short time. 

As the mom substitute of this little 10 year old, I tried to provide encouragement, settle disputes, comfort him in his sadness, reign him in during times of exuberance... and today, with great pain I said goodbye to him, potentially to not ever hear or see him again.  As I walked back to the house today, with tears in my eyes, greeted at the door by many of my dwarfs, my tears became sobs and I clearly now know why we do not foster children, why we adopt...

My little dwarfs unsure of what to do for a sobbing mother, offered me comfort,  held my hand and offered me Kleenex and encouragement.  As I sit and write this entry, I am binge eating Laughy Taffy (grape of course) and washing it down with a strong diet Pepsi.  (extra caffeine and carbonation)

It is my hope that we touched him, the way that he touched us.  Are we perfect -NOPE - was he perfect -NOPE - but he was a good fit for our family and he will be missed greatly! you just can't make this stuff up!

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