BIG dreams were what I had for this week of no kids.
You may ask how did a mom with 7 kids, have a week free of any kids for one whole week... well let me clarify that. It was not a whole week... technically it was 96 hours not 168 hours and I saw them every morning at 7 for med distribution, and Tuesday night one slept at home because of injury...
Here is my formula for how I scored a large chunk of my week to myself. First, you leave one behind in your home state and travel to a new state 1100 miles away. Secondly, you send another child to sleep away camp for 8 consecutive weeks to serve the Lord in upstate New York. (her choice not mine). Thirdly, you praise the Lord for a new church home, that has an opportunity for your kids to serve the Lord in a mission minded week long camp, and begin making new relationships, in a safe environment,with plenty of supervision, and three meals a day! Score!
Back to the opening statement of this post, I had BIG dreams for this week of no kids. I envisioned sitting alone by the pool, (because I have one of those now) reading, working on my tan, cat napping, shopping (so I could get the lay of the land here of course) and maybe treating myself to a manicure or pedicure, or both.
But the reality is that I did none of those things. I did however work on making our new house a home for our children that were away for the week.
I spent two days touching up paint in their rooms, hanging their photos and artwork and making sure that their rooms were organized the way that they had been in PA. I took great pains to reorganize their dressers and leave notes for them about where things are currently if I moved them. (The notes were really for me because when they come asking at noon today, I will not be able to remember where I shifted things. ) I left them "love notes" on their pillows of their newly changed and re-made beds expressing how proud I was of each of them to stepping out of their comfort zone this week and working for the Lord and about how excited the Prince and I are to hear about all the activities from the week.
I organized and cleaned their bathroom. Which included more painting touch up. ( I have to say Dopey made it easy, his painting skills are improving!) I spent a great chunk of time in the "media" room or kids den on their floor as well, securing the space as the coolest in the house. A room just for them to relax, watch movies, play video games, play a board game, do a puzzle. Hung more artwork, and black out curtains (can't have glare on that big television, #teenageproblems)The house had been empty for a year and when Bryan moved in his focus was demolition, not cleaning so for Bashful, I cleaned away all remnants of bugs, cobwebs, and the like, that tends to send his freak meter off.
As I moved through the house, I constantly kept that washer and dryer spinning, as well as worked on the other areas of the house. I painted the entrance way of the house, and because I had a lot of bleed through under the tape for some reason, I repainted the white areas as well ... painting always makes me want to curse. I continued to remove cobwebs and bugs, kept up with the dog hair and the dishes, stuff that all of you moms out there do! (Dad's too). I continued to organize and reorganize our new spaces, trying to find the best home for our treasures.
In the midst of all this busy work, I prayed. I prayed for friends that lost a loved one recently, I prayed for my kids and their struggles and their adjustment to camp and making new friends, I prayed for a friend that is struggling with health concerns, for another that is struggling with kid issues, I prayed for my family that I miss, and that they would all be so busy at home that they would not be missing me as much as I was missing them, I prayed over the rooms of this house, that they would become rooms of a home, filled with love and life, and that even here in Florida, it would be a resting stop for the weary, a filling station for the hungry, and a haven to those that need peace.
My alone time is coming to an end. As I look back over the week, it is hard to believe that there are still rooms that are in chaos, or at least mild distress. That I did not get to the salon to have my nails done, I did not read that great book, or work on my tan. I am a bit sad that I did not get a nap or 4 in, and that my to do list is some how longer than when the week started. What I am excited about however, is that our house, is more of a home than 96 hours ago. The pieces are all fitting, the spaces are all filling, and the only thing missing is the noise and the chaos of my kids, while we are not 100% there yet... we are in the home stretch, we have turned a corner towards putting down roots, towards securing our position and relationships in this area, and to calling 6114 Cypress Circle our home!
You really can't make this stuff up.
Friday, June 27, 2014
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Be careful what you wish for!
As a runner, I often think to myself, what a great wide berm there is on this highway, or this road goes on for miles and it is flat and straight. I could run everywhere I wanted to go if I could run on the interstate.
Well that was until we hit exit 9B in South Carolina, my wish came true. Except it was not how I envisioned it... none the less, be careful what you wish for!
It was about 9 hours into our trip and the car hauler my husband was pulling behind the moving truck in front of us, has a low tire. We had stopped and filled it up, at the last fuel stop, but it was depleted of air again, and was starting to smoke. Eventually the tire blew, which is really a post all on it's own, but leads me to the run on the side of the road.
To say that we were an impressive line up on the side of that exit would be an understatement. But in true Lingle form, we attacked the situation with gusto and made a plan. A plan that included 5 children, 3 adults and 2, 80 lbs labs.
To say that it was hot would be an understatement. It is the heat of the day, and the wait time for just the call back on the service repair was estimated at 30 minutes. From there it was over two hours for the service technician to arrive and for the repair to be made. So off the side of the road was a nice shaded area. We all piled out of the vehicles and went down to the shade, where we fed the dogs, watered the dogs, made small talk, snacked etc. Things were good, or at least the best they could be in the situation for 2 hours and 20 minutes perhaps.... Then Bashful started to melt down. Literally, he was sweating and his attitude was also suffering significantly, so in an attempt to smooth things over, I took him back to the van for some alone time and for the diversion of electronics.
As we are settling in, the service repair man comes and starts working on the flat. I get a text about the same time that one of the dogs ran off. I think for sure this must be a joke, they are leashed. But no it is not a joke. Lucy has managed to slip her collar and leash and make a dash for.... well I am not really sure what for but she is dashing. The other dwarfs wrestle Lola, her sister to the van. Shut it up and start the air. I rush to the area where Lucy was last seen, with Grumpy, in hope of seeing Sleepy and Dopey with the dog already in hand.
I am such a dreamer! I send Grumpy with some treats in a metal bowl, shaking it as he runs in the direction of Lucy, calling out "Treats Lucy, Treats..." over and over again. I take the high ground and start running in flip flops, through the grasses and weeds in the kids direction as well ( I am just older and slower. ) We get about a quarter of a mile from our exit, and I look up to see Lucy bounding right at me. She is running with wild abandon, and looks like one of those cartoon dogs, ears flopping, legs pumping, raised high ... I think, I have one chance. She is coming straight at me, I will drop on her when she gets to me and hold her til the kids come with the leash and collar. So Lucy and I are running top speed towards each other, I am calling to her " Come here Lucy girl" . She is still flying in my direction. I stop and prepare for impact.
She sprints in another direction! Grrr did I mention I am not a fan of dogs.... Okay, well I am startled to say the least, I can hear the kids getting closer, but do not know what to do, because now I am the leader in this race and the kids are bringing up the rear. So I bolt (okay that may be a bit strong of a term, but for story telling purposes it works) into the area that Lucy headed, which was filled with jaggers and wild berry bushes. Fact: The dog is faster than any human. She again darts off the path and starts heading right down the side of the interstate towards the rest of the family and the Prince, and the repair man, and traffic flying by at 70 mph. I do not know if any of them are watching for her, so I stop, gather all the air I can into my lungs and start yelling for them to look for her. Fact: The side of the interstate is a noisy, noisy place and your voice doesn't really carry well.
So... she runs towards the Prince, and then darts out to the drivers side of the van, right in traffic range. The Prince manages to call her to the other side of the van, where her sister is already waiting for her. We get her into the van, and she is a shaking mess.
Here come the kids. Sleepy has lost one of her flip flops, and the Prince can't find it. She has cuts all over her feet because she made the interstate run in her bare feet. Dopey is cut on his legs as he plowed through all sorts of jagger bushes and such in the pursuit of his dog Lucy. We hear the tale of Lucy bolting across two on ramps and cars stopping and horns blowing and how one woman almost had her in her car, before Lucy got scared and ran again... I do wish that Lucy could share her version of the story with us... We get the kids and the dog situated and cleaned up about the same time the repair to the trailer is done. After about three hours and a little change, we are on the road again.
One of the dwarfs insightfully proclaimed as we re-entered the highway, " Mom, at least Lucy ran away while the repairs were being made, that way we did not have to waste anymore time sitting on the side of the road waiting."
You really can't make this stuff up!
Well that was until we hit exit 9B in South Carolina, my wish came true. Except it was not how I envisioned it... none the less, be careful what you wish for!
It was about 9 hours into our trip and the car hauler my husband was pulling behind the moving truck in front of us, has a low tire. We had stopped and filled it up, at the last fuel stop, but it was depleted of air again, and was starting to smoke. Eventually the tire blew, which is really a post all on it's own, but leads me to the run on the side of the road.
To say that we were an impressive line up on the side of that exit would be an understatement. But in true Lingle form, we attacked the situation with gusto and made a plan. A plan that included 5 children, 3 adults and 2, 80 lbs labs.
To say that it was hot would be an understatement. It is the heat of the day, and the wait time for just the call back on the service repair was estimated at 30 minutes. From there it was over two hours for the service technician to arrive and for the repair to be made. So off the side of the road was a nice shaded area. We all piled out of the vehicles and went down to the shade, where we fed the dogs, watered the dogs, made small talk, snacked etc. Things were good, or at least the best they could be in the situation for 2 hours and 20 minutes perhaps.... Then Bashful started to melt down. Literally, he was sweating and his attitude was also suffering significantly, so in an attempt to smooth things over, I took him back to the van for some alone time and for the diversion of electronics.
As we are settling in, the service repair man comes and starts working on the flat. I get a text about the same time that one of the dogs ran off. I think for sure this must be a joke, they are leashed. But no it is not a joke. Lucy has managed to slip her collar and leash and make a dash for.... well I am not really sure what for but she is dashing. The other dwarfs wrestle Lola, her sister to the van. Shut it up and start the air. I rush to the area where Lucy was last seen, with Grumpy, in hope of seeing Sleepy and Dopey with the dog already in hand.
I am such a dreamer! I send Grumpy with some treats in a metal bowl, shaking it as he runs in the direction of Lucy, calling out "Treats Lucy, Treats..." over and over again. I take the high ground and start running in flip flops, through the grasses and weeds in the kids direction as well ( I am just older and slower. ) We get about a quarter of a mile from our exit, and I look up to see Lucy bounding right at me. She is running with wild abandon, and looks like one of those cartoon dogs, ears flopping, legs pumping, raised high ... I think, I have one chance. She is coming straight at me, I will drop on her when she gets to me and hold her til the kids come with the leash and collar. So Lucy and I are running top speed towards each other, I am calling to her " Come here Lucy girl" . She is still flying in my direction. I stop and prepare for impact.
She sprints in another direction! Grrr did I mention I am not a fan of dogs.... Okay, well I am startled to say the least, I can hear the kids getting closer, but do not know what to do, because now I am the leader in this race and the kids are bringing up the rear. So I bolt (okay that may be a bit strong of a term, but for story telling purposes it works) into the area that Lucy headed, which was filled with jaggers and wild berry bushes. Fact: The dog is faster than any human. She again darts off the path and starts heading right down the side of the interstate towards the rest of the family and the Prince, and the repair man, and traffic flying by at 70 mph. I do not know if any of them are watching for her, so I stop, gather all the air I can into my lungs and start yelling for them to look for her. Fact: The side of the interstate is a noisy, noisy place and your voice doesn't really carry well.
So... she runs towards the Prince, and then darts out to the drivers side of the van, right in traffic range. The Prince manages to call her to the other side of the van, where her sister is already waiting for her. We get her into the van, and she is a shaking mess.
Here come the kids. Sleepy has lost one of her flip flops, and the Prince can't find it. She has cuts all over her feet because she made the interstate run in her bare feet. Dopey is cut on his legs as he plowed through all sorts of jagger bushes and such in the pursuit of his dog Lucy. We hear the tale of Lucy bolting across two on ramps and cars stopping and horns blowing and how one woman almost had her in her car, before Lucy got scared and ran again... I do wish that Lucy could share her version of the story with us... We get the kids and the dog situated and cleaned up about the same time the repair to the trailer is done. After about three hours and a little change, we are on the road again.
One of the dwarfs insightfully proclaimed as we re-entered the highway, " Mom, at least Lucy ran away while the repairs were being made, that way we did not have to waste anymore time sitting on the side of the road waiting."
You really can't make this stuff up!
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Eavesdropping? Why yes I was!
Is it okay to eavesdrop on your children's conversations? Typically, I would say, NO. However when the conversation is directly in your earshot, and your child is talking rather LOUDLY, then eavesdropping it is....
Yesterday, Grumpy wanted to reach out to a "friend" from home. So with much hesitation, I gave him my cell, took him to a spot in the house that has good cell reception, and told him he had 15 minutes to talk with his friend. I went back to doing what all good mom's do, laundry and cleaning and such.
As I was putting away laundry, I hear that Grumpy is becoming more animated in his conversation with his friend. Words that should never in my humble opinion be used when having any kind of conversation are being thrown around, "Yo, Homie, Nah, Yup" ... Of course Grumpy is exaggerating facts, and is spinning things to make him seem AMAZING... but the one conversation starter that pricked my ears the most was, "Yo Homie, I was being chased by the cops today." Now I ask, what mom in her right mind is going to leave the room at this point?
So I listen to Grumpy continue to tell the story of how he was being chased by the cops today while he was on his bike ride, for not wearing his helmet. At the conclusion of this story, before he has the time to launch into another tale, I go out, and remind him that his time is up.
At the conclusion of the call, I go retrieve my phone from him and sit down and ask him to explain his "being chased by a cop" story to me. At first he seems shocked that I know about the situation. I remind him that if he wants to talk to people without being overheard then he needs to keep his voice down. To which he nods his head in acknowledgement, but if you know anything about this dwarf, quiet is not his M.O..
"Well mom it is like this, he says, I was riding my bike today and when I was out there was a police man in his car chasing me." " Why do you think he was chasing you? " " I know he was!" " Did you do something wrong? " "No, I just wasn't wearing my helmet." " Well Grumpy, you do know that here in Florida you do not have to wear your helmet. " " Mom he was chasing me!" " Let me clarify something son, if he were indeed chasing you, then did you outrun him on your bike as he drove behind you in his car?" "No." " He follow you to our home and rang my door bell to tell me what kind of trouble you were in?" " No." " Did he at anytime during the chase, talk to you, come along side you and address you, did he even smile and wave at you at anytime during this chase?" "No." "Son, do you know that our neighborhood has over 500 homes in it and that the police patrol through here about twice a day or so? " "No." " Son, did it ever occur to you that it just happened, that you and the police officer, were going in the same direction at the same time as you were riding home on your bike and as he was patrolling our neighborhood? " "No." somewhat sheepishly this time.
I explained three things to Grumpy this day. One is that people are always out and about in their cars traveling in and out of the neighborhood, and there is almost always someone that will be driving in their car, going at least for part of the way, the same direction as you are biking. The only reason that he noticed this particular vehicle is because of his hyper sensitivity to all things police related. Secondly, I explained to him, that should this have been an actual "chase" the police officer would have made verbal contact with him, giving him instructions as to what he was supposed to do, and that a "chase" would only ensue, should at the point of being spoken to by the officer, he would choose flee the scene. Thirdly, that friends can see through a tall tale, and if you desire to keep and or make new friends, one should always view the situations/stories that they are discussing/telling in light of reality. If one is unsure, it is always safe to keep one's mouth shut...or just simply state the facts.
"Today while riding my bike, I was a little scared when I noticed that a police officer was following me down the road." But of course, what kind of story would that make?
You really can't make this stuff up!
Yesterday, Grumpy wanted to reach out to a "friend" from home. So with much hesitation, I gave him my cell, took him to a spot in the house that has good cell reception, and told him he had 15 minutes to talk with his friend. I went back to doing what all good mom's do, laundry and cleaning and such.
As I was putting away laundry, I hear that Grumpy is becoming more animated in his conversation with his friend. Words that should never in my humble opinion be used when having any kind of conversation are being thrown around, "Yo, Homie, Nah, Yup" ... Of course Grumpy is exaggerating facts, and is spinning things to make him seem AMAZING... but the one conversation starter that pricked my ears the most was, "Yo Homie, I was being chased by the cops today." Now I ask, what mom in her right mind is going to leave the room at this point?
So I listen to Grumpy continue to tell the story of how he was being chased by the cops today while he was on his bike ride, for not wearing his helmet. At the conclusion of this story, before he has the time to launch into another tale, I go out, and remind him that his time is up.
At the conclusion of the call, I go retrieve my phone from him and sit down and ask him to explain his "being chased by a cop" story to me. At first he seems shocked that I know about the situation. I remind him that if he wants to talk to people without being overheard then he needs to keep his voice down. To which he nods his head in acknowledgement, but if you know anything about this dwarf, quiet is not his M.O..
"Well mom it is like this, he says, I was riding my bike today and when I was out there was a police man in his car chasing me." " Why do you think he was chasing you? " " I know he was!" " Did you do something wrong? " "No, I just wasn't wearing my helmet." " Well Grumpy, you do know that here in Florida you do not have to wear your helmet. " " Mom he was chasing me!" " Let me clarify something son, if he were indeed chasing you, then did you outrun him on your bike as he drove behind you in his car?" "No." " He follow you to our home and rang my door bell to tell me what kind of trouble you were in?" " No." " Did he at anytime during the chase, talk to you, come along side you and address you, did he even smile and wave at you at anytime during this chase?" "No." "Son, do you know that our neighborhood has over 500 homes in it and that the police patrol through here about twice a day or so? " "No." " Son, did it ever occur to you that it just happened, that you and the police officer, were going in the same direction at the same time as you were riding home on your bike and as he was patrolling our neighborhood? " "No." somewhat sheepishly this time.
I explained three things to Grumpy this day. One is that people are always out and about in their cars traveling in and out of the neighborhood, and there is almost always someone that will be driving in their car, going at least for part of the way, the same direction as you are biking. The only reason that he noticed this particular vehicle is because of his hyper sensitivity to all things police related. Secondly, I explained to him, that should this have been an actual "chase" the police officer would have made verbal contact with him, giving him instructions as to what he was supposed to do, and that a "chase" would only ensue, should at the point of being spoken to by the officer, he would choose flee the scene. Thirdly, that friends can see through a tall tale, and if you desire to keep and or make new friends, one should always view the situations/stories that they are discussing/telling in light of reality. If one is unsure, it is always safe to keep one's mouth shut...or just simply state the facts.
"Today while riding my bike, I was a little scared when I noticed that a police officer was following me down the road." But of course, what kind of story would that make?
You really can't make this stuff up!
Thursday, May 8, 2014
I Refuse to Coupon!
I know, really a mom of so many on such a tight budget refusing to coupon!?! You may ask why don't I coupon, how in good conscious I can resist the allure of saving 100's of dollars a week at the groceries by NOT couponing...
For starters, I simply do not have that much time in my day, my week or my month. When I watch shows like Extreme Couponing, I am amazed, I am impressed, and I am also a bit jealous, but the reality is that making those deals happen is their full time job. Hours and hours of preparation go into pulling off these giant grocery feats. They coerce others to assist them, spouses, children, friends and neighbors... I think my family would revolt, I don't care how well stocked my pantry would be or the freezers, the amount of time that it would take to coupon like that would make my kids resentful.
Additionally, finding grocery stores where you can actually benefit from the crazy couponing is another problem. There are many stores that no longer offer double coupons, they have done away with coupons that are actually for items that consumers are currently purchasing, but more as a way to try to entice you to purchase items that are new. Many grocery stores across the nation have also lowered prices in their stores by bringing in a "generic" of store brand of their most popular items. Rarely will there be discounts or coupons for store brand items.
I also find the task of cutting, sorting, and then attempting to use coupons stressful. I have tried many means in which to do so, however, what typically happens is that I get to the end of my shopping trip and find that I have items in my cart that I really do not want, and I can no longer can find that wispy slip of paper, or I have not picked up the correct amount of items to make the coupon valid. Sadly the worst is when I hand over my carefully selected coupons, and there are expired ones in the bunch, because when I made my list three days earlier they were good, but since expired.
How then, you ask, does one stay within a budget, shopping for the masses? Creativity is key. We garden, produce and herbs. We tend, we water, we harvest and we eat...well. We buy our meats (beef and pork) from a farmer that raises them for food, place our order for a pig, or a cow, and fill the freezers to overflowing. We barter for fresh eggs. We purchase in bulk (80 dozen ears of corn for $1 a dozen) husk it, blanch it, cut it from the cobs and freeze it. I am realistic about what it costs to feed my super sized family. I plan accordingly.
One of the best programs that I partake in is the Karn's extra rewards program, where with my bonus card, I get points based on the dollars I spend. Each dollar = a point. I then redeem points for gift cards to their store, for more groceries, or gift cards for gift giving throughout the year. Giant Foods has a gas rewards program, where you earn points to receive a percentage off your gas, when purchased at their pumps. Turkey Hill Minute Markets (where we stop often for a drink, loaf of bread, or a gallon of milk) has a program where you can earn points for a percentage off gas, as well as free drinks and food purchases. Sheetz card holders automatically get 5% off gas, and then have the potential using the card to earn free beverages and food, all of which is automatically tracked with your card number.
I shop at a lot of discount locations as well. Aldi Stores and Amelia Grocery Outlets are great for picking up fresh fruit and vegetables on the day of delivery for a fraction of the cost in the major grocery chains. Wal Mart stores, offer deep discount prices on a WIDE variety of items from housewares to groceries, saving time and money by one stop shopping. Where else can you purchase food for a picnic, decorations and table settings, the grill, the patio furniture, pool treatment chemicals, a bathing suit and a cover up in one place? Some times smart shopping is about combining trips to save time, which translates to less stress, and more free time.
I am also a big fan of food auctions. This is a process that you may not be familiar with, but just as all auctions, you go, register and bid of fresh foods, staples, as well as sometimes frozen foods at a fraction of the cost. These trips often yield in a great ability to STOCK up, on the basic paper products, cleaning supplies etc. (see previous blog posts for details of two food auctions that I have attended) http://www.malingle.com/2011/10/food-auction-oh-yea.html , http://www.malingle.com/2011/02/its-all-about-deal.html
Plan your meals in advance. (for anyone that knows me personally, you know this is my passion) If you have a plan for your meals, either a week in advance or a month, you will spend less money, and you will save time in the long run, by taking out the need to daily stop at the store misc items or meal ideas on the way home from work. Make your list. Stick to it. If possible go to the store alone, so there is little ability for others to "toss" impulse buys into the cart.
I spend approx $5 a day per person on food/ household goods (such as paper products and cleaning supplies) This includes three meals a day (breakfast/coffee/cocoa, lunches packed, snacks and main dinners). Planning works. If you can coupon along the way... great for you, you will save more money than I and I admire you greatly. However if you are like me, creativity and planning ahead helps me feed and grow the masses in my house. Four teen boys, two teen girls, one pre-teen, and three adults, plus friends, always have plenty to choose from when meal time and snack time cause their tummy's to rumble.
For starters, I simply do not have that much time in my day, my week or my month. When I watch shows like Extreme Couponing, I am amazed, I am impressed, and I am also a bit jealous, but the reality is that making those deals happen is their full time job. Hours and hours of preparation go into pulling off these giant grocery feats. They coerce others to assist them, spouses, children, friends and neighbors... I think my family would revolt, I don't care how well stocked my pantry would be or the freezers, the amount of time that it would take to coupon like that would make my kids resentful.
Additionally, finding grocery stores where you can actually benefit from the crazy couponing is another problem. There are many stores that no longer offer double coupons, they have done away with coupons that are actually for items that consumers are currently purchasing, but more as a way to try to entice you to purchase items that are new. Many grocery stores across the nation have also lowered prices in their stores by bringing in a "generic" of store brand of their most popular items. Rarely will there be discounts or coupons for store brand items.
I also find the task of cutting, sorting, and then attempting to use coupons stressful. I have tried many means in which to do so, however, what typically happens is that I get to the end of my shopping trip and find that I have items in my cart that I really do not want, and I can no longer can find that wispy slip of paper, or I have not picked up the correct amount of items to make the coupon valid. Sadly the worst is when I hand over my carefully selected coupons, and there are expired ones in the bunch, because when I made my list three days earlier they were good, but since expired.
How then, you ask, does one stay within a budget, shopping for the masses? Creativity is key. We garden, produce and herbs. We tend, we water, we harvest and we eat...well. We buy our meats (beef and pork) from a farmer that raises them for food, place our order for a pig, or a cow, and fill the freezers to overflowing. We barter for fresh eggs. We purchase in bulk (80 dozen ears of corn for $1 a dozen) husk it, blanch it, cut it from the cobs and freeze it. I am realistic about what it costs to feed my super sized family. I plan accordingly.
One of the best programs that I partake in is the Karn's extra rewards program, where with my bonus card, I get points based on the dollars I spend. Each dollar = a point. I then redeem points for gift cards to their store, for more groceries, or gift cards for gift giving throughout the year. Giant Foods has a gas rewards program, where you earn points to receive a percentage off your gas, when purchased at their pumps. Turkey Hill Minute Markets (where we stop often for a drink, loaf of bread, or a gallon of milk) has a program where you can earn points for a percentage off gas, as well as free drinks and food purchases. Sheetz card holders automatically get 5% off gas, and then have the potential using the card to earn free beverages and food, all of which is automatically tracked with your card number.
I shop at a lot of discount locations as well. Aldi Stores and Amelia Grocery Outlets are great for picking up fresh fruit and vegetables on the day of delivery for a fraction of the cost in the major grocery chains. Wal Mart stores, offer deep discount prices on a WIDE variety of items from housewares to groceries, saving time and money by one stop shopping. Where else can you purchase food for a picnic, decorations and table settings, the grill, the patio furniture, pool treatment chemicals, a bathing suit and a cover up in one place? Some times smart shopping is about combining trips to save time, which translates to less stress, and more free time.
I am also a big fan of food auctions. This is a process that you may not be familiar with, but just as all auctions, you go, register and bid of fresh foods, staples, as well as sometimes frozen foods at a fraction of the cost. These trips often yield in a great ability to STOCK up, on the basic paper products, cleaning supplies etc. (see previous blog posts for details of two food auctions that I have attended) http://www.malingle.com/2011/10/food-auction-oh-yea.html , http://www.malingle.com/2011/02/its-all-about-deal.html
Plan your meals in advance. (for anyone that knows me personally, you know this is my passion) If you have a plan for your meals, either a week in advance or a month, you will spend less money, and you will save time in the long run, by taking out the need to daily stop at the store misc items or meal ideas on the way home from work. Make your list. Stick to it. If possible go to the store alone, so there is little ability for others to "toss" impulse buys into the cart.
I spend approx $5 a day per person on food/ household goods (such as paper products and cleaning supplies) This includes three meals a day (breakfast/coffee/cocoa, lunches packed, snacks and main dinners). Planning works. If you can coupon along the way... great for you, you will save more money than I and I admire you greatly. However if you are like me, creativity and planning ahead helps me feed and grow the masses in my house. Four teen boys, two teen girls, one pre-teen, and three adults, plus friends, always have plenty to choose from when meal time and snack time cause their tummy's to rumble.
Monday, April 7, 2014
The Land of Half Way
Well I knew that it would happen. Despite my best intentions, despite my careful planning and organization. I knew that while the Prince was away, I would lose my cool. However I did not think it would be so soon in the game... I only made it 9 days.
Friday night was the night, and the situation that lead to my meltdown has a bit of a back story. So follow along as I grow the story of life in the kingdom, of the Land of Half Way.
My dwarfs are all wonderful, amazing, thoughtful, kind and generous with their time... when they are with others. But in the kingdom of the Land of Half Way, this is what daily life tends to look like:
A pile of clean towels stacked outside the closed and locked bathroom door, with a wet, yet clean, dwarf on the other side of the door yelling that there are no towels, when they clearly had to hurtle the towels to get into the bathroom.
Dirty dishes coming out of the dishwasher, dried and crusty with food residue, being replaced in their proper, or close to it, storage spots, as such unclean... and dwarfs melting down about how disgusting it is that there are dirty utensils, bowls etc coming out of the cupboards when the go to get a snack or breakfast.
I can't find my _______________(you fill in the blank). Socks, gym uniform, ear buds, sneakers backpack, lunch box... however if each dwarf used the tools available to them to be successful in storing and staging their belongings and not being too lazy to use the shoe rack, the bag hooks, the separate personal laundry baskets, these conversations would be almost non existent in regular day to day conversation.
Taking the trash out of the can in the kitchen and walking it to the garage, not placing it in the out door cans and not replacing the bag with a clean fresh bag in the inside can.
Standing in front of the sink in the bathroom, with a toothbrush in their mouth, but never really brushing and having to go back multiple times to do the job completely.
Dumping all their clean laundry that is sorted and stacked in one drawer, vs separating it out into the appropriate spaces; socks/underwear, PJ's, tee shirts and pants drawers, and then freaking out because they have no clean socks. Which upon closer inspection one will find the socks are all in the bottom drawer where the pants should be, along with all of last week's clean laundry.
Closing a door, but never latching it - this can be the sliding glass door, the garage door into the house or the fridge and freezer doors.... any door is subject to not being latched (car doors are oft found hanging open the next morning from the previous evenings sports practice or evening activity.
Oh, I could go on but I think you get the picture. So fast forward to Friday - I have a great system set up for the storage of Rubbermaid storage containers. You stack the like size containers inside one another and there is a basket to collect ALL lids. After a hectic and later than anticipated dinner because of afternoon doctors appointments and running dwarfs to work, I sent all the remaining dwarfs away from the kitchen so I could regain my sanity. Cleaning up from dinner is often a good time to get some quiet time and refocus. Not the case on this particular night as I reached into the cupboard to retrieve the containers needed for storing the Chicken Alfredo leftovers.
The chaos that met my eyes was shocking. Things just tossed into the space, falling out on the floor as I opened the door, scattering everywhere. The harder I tried to contain the overflow, the worse it became. Sadly, this only escalate my exasperation and frustration. In one of my non finer moments, I came up off the floor to a standing position ranting and raving about how I was going to begin doing things HALF WAY. Oh, I wish I could say it stopped there... but because of my loud grunts and groans of frustration most of the kingdom had already appeared in the kitchen to see what was wrong... and so with as much calm as I could muster I laid out for them how things were going to start to change in the Land of Half Way, when I started doing things for them half way:
The conversation, one sided as it was, went something like this... "I am going to start doing things for each of you only half way, because with the few small things you are tasked with doing it takes you too much effort to do them correctly and to completion, daily you short step your responsibilities and you only do them half way. So, be prepared, as I take you to church, work, school functions or baseball practice I will drive you half way there, pull off on the side of the road and make you get out and walk the rest of the way. Understand that when it is your laundry day, I am only going to do your laundry half way. I will wash it, but will take all the wet laundry to your bed and lay it in a heap instead of finishing the job and placing it all in the dryer. I am going to prepare your dinner, but not cook it, you will be required to eat it cold, raw and crunchy. I am only going to help you find one shoe, if I find them both, I keep one, you wear the other. I am only going to give you half an answer to the question that you ask, I am only going to help you half the time that I feel like it, the rest of the time I am going to ignore you." While clearly this outburst had been building over time and was not pretty to witness, by the looks of shock and awe on their faces, I felt that it needed to be said.
We did chuckle about the fact that if we all half stepped things in life, we would have significant and burdensome consequences to face. The visual picture that I presented to them was vivid. Since they had not thought much about how every time they half step their way through an activity/chore that they know needs to be completed in a specific manner, they are making more work and increasing stress in those around them because eventually someone does have to step in and fix what they left undone. Leading to a conversation about taking the time to do something right the first time actually saves time in the long run. Did I get through???
I wish that I could say the message got through, however as of this morning, I was looking at the last four pieces of bread because no one indicated that they were eating from the last loaf of bread, and a dwarf stepped over an entire basket of his clean laundry when leaving the bathroom today, in search of something to wear to school... but as the Prince is fond of saying life is a marathon, not a sprint.
Really, you can't make this stuff up!
Friday night was the night, and the situation that lead to my meltdown has a bit of a back story. So follow along as I grow the story of life in the kingdom, of the Land of Half Way.
My dwarfs are all wonderful, amazing, thoughtful, kind and generous with their time... when they are with others. But in the kingdom of the Land of Half Way, this is what daily life tends to look like:
A pile of clean towels stacked outside the closed and locked bathroom door, with a wet, yet clean, dwarf on the other side of the door yelling that there are no towels, when they clearly had to hurtle the towels to get into the bathroom.
Dirty dishes coming out of the dishwasher, dried and crusty with food residue, being replaced in their proper, or close to it, storage spots, as such unclean... and dwarfs melting down about how disgusting it is that there are dirty utensils, bowls etc coming out of the cupboards when the go to get a snack or breakfast.
I can't find my _______________(you fill in the blank). Socks, gym uniform, ear buds, sneakers backpack, lunch box... however if each dwarf used the tools available to them to be successful in storing and staging their belongings and not being too lazy to use the shoe rack, the bag hooks, the separate personal laundry baskets, these conversations would be almost non existent in regular day to day conversation.
Taking the trash out of the can in the kitchen and walking it to the garage, not placing it in the out door cans and not replacing the bag with a clean fresh bag in the inside can.
Standing in front of the sink in the bathroom, with a toothbrush in their mouth, but never really brushing and having to go back multiple times to do the job completely.
Dumping all their clean laundry that is sorted and stacked in one drawer, vs separating it out into the appropriate spaces; socks/underwear, PJ's, tee shirts and pants drawers, and then freaking out because they have no clean socks. Which upon closer inspection one will find the socks are all in the bottom drawer where the pants should be, along with all of last week's clean laundry.
Closing a door, but never latching it - this can be the sliding glass door, the garage door into the house or the fridge and freezer doors.... any door is subject to not being latched (car doors are oft found hanging open the next morning from the previous evenings sports practice or evening activity.
Oh, I could go on but I think you get the picture. So fast forward to Friday - I have a great system set up for the storage of Rubbermaid storage containers. You stack the like size containers inside one another and there is a basket to collect ALL lids. After a hectic and later than anticipated dinner because of afternoon doctors appointments and running dwarfs to work, I sent all the remaining dwarfs away from the kitchen so I could regain my sanity. Cleaning up from dinner is often a good time to get some quiet time and refocus. Not the case on this particular night as I reached into the cupboard to retrieve the containers needed for storing the Chicken Alfredo leftovers.
The chaos that met my eyes was shocking. Things just tossed into the space, falling out on the floor as I opened the door, scattering everywhere. The harder I tried to contain the overflow, the worse it became. Sadly, this only escalate my exasperation and frustration. In one of my non finer moments, I came up off the floor to a standing position ranting and raving about how I was going to begin doing things HALF WAY. Oh, I wish I could say it stopped there... but because of my loud grunts and groans of frustration most of the kingdom had already appeared in the kitchen to see what was wrong... and so with as much calm as I could muster I laid out for them how things were going to start to change in the Land of Half Way, when I started doing things for them half way:
The conversation, one sided as it was, went something like this... "I am going to start doing things for each of you only half way, because with the few small things you are tasked with doing it takes you too much effort to do them correctly and to completion, daily you short step your responsibilities and you only do them half way. So, be prepared, as I take you to church, work, school functions or baseball practice I will drive you half way there, pull off on the side of the road and make you get out and walk the rest of the way. Understand that when it is your laundry day, I am only going to do your laundry half way. I will wash it, but will take all the wet laundry to your bed and lay it in a heap instead of finishing the job and placing it all in the dryer. I am going to prepare your dinner, but not cook it, you will be required to eat it cold, raw and crunchy. I am only going to help you find one shoe, if I find them both, I keep one, you wear the other. I am only going to give you half an answer to the question that you ask, I am only going to help you half the time that I feel like it, the rest of the time I am going to ignore you." While clearly this outburst had been building over time and was not pretty to witness, by the looks of shock and awe on their faces, I felt that it needed to be said.
We did chuckle about the fact that if we all half stepped things in life, we would have significant and burdensome consequences to face. The visual picture that I presented to them was vivid. Since they had not thought much about how every time they half step their way through an activity/chore that they know needs to be completed in a specific manner, they are making more work and increasing stress in those around them because eventually someone does have to step in and fix what they left undone. Leading to a conversation about taking the time to do something right the first time actually saves time in the long run. Did I get through???
I wish that I could say the message got through, however as of this morning, I was looking at the last four pieces of bread because no one indicated that they were eating from the last loaf of bread, and a dwarf stepped over an entire basket of his clean laundry when leaving the bathroom today, in search of something to wear to school... but as the Prince is fond of saying life is a marathon, not a sprint.
Really, you can't make this stuff up!
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Miscellaneous Moments in the House of Many
There have been several random and miscellaneous "You can't make this stuff up" episodes in our home the last few weeks. None of them have been substantial enough to generate a complete post, so here they are in no particular order: (all dwarfs are remaining anonymous for this post)
In regards to wardrobe requirements on a Sunday morning: I strongly request that my male dwarfs wear a collared shirt to church. I make no requirements on bottoms, or footwear. I think it is a fair request. To honor it in my mind, shows respect of the mother, and to God. (old school thinking I know, because no where in the Bible does it say how to dress for corporate worship)
Recently, after about 3 weeks of consistent conversations about the collared shirt "request", this week, a male dwarf made his way to the breakfast table in a beautiful collared shirt. He looked handsome, I expressed my thanks to him for being willing to honor the request, and told him that he looked handsome. Upon arriving at church said dwarf, made a parade around the inside spaces of the building, which I thought was odd, but tossed it off to the fact he was looking for someone. (In hindsight, he was making sure that everyone who was there could see him in his collared shirt; including his dad who went to the office early that day!) I went my way after a few minutes, as did he. We met up again in the sanctuary after an hour of Sunday School, and I saw his collared shirt was "missing" and in it's place a dingy undershirt and a hoodie. When questioned, his response was, "I did what you told me too, I wore a collared shirt to church, but then I took it off and put it in Dad's office before Sunday school because I think it is too small and I don't like it." Ah the joy of living with a word smith.
After a Sunday morning scurry to get in the big white van and make it to the church on time, one of my male dwarfs, upon exiting the van looks a little "off". I call him to come back to me, which he does, and upon closer inspection, I see that he is wearing my makeup. Foundation to be exact. So I say to the dwarf, "are you wearing my makeup?" "NO!!" says he like I have a few screws loose. Upon closer inspection it is clear that he is wearing my makeup. I say at this point, we are going to start over with this conversation. I am going to ask you again... this is where he interrupts with, "MOM, it came off the hand towel in your bathroom when I was wiping my mouth after brushing my teeth." No, I don't agree, and for a few reasons.... one is that there is never makeup on my towel. Secondly, IF it had been on my towel and you smeared it when wiping your mouth, the foundation smear would be around your lips and mouth, not specific dots on multiple points of your face. "So, don't interrupt me again, let me finish..." "We are going to start this conversation over again when I say the word go, and you are going to have an opportunity to tell me the truth." "GO! " Me to the dwarf, "are you wearing my makeup?" Dwarf with downcast eyes, "yes." Okay, I applaud him because this a good start to a truthful conversation. I suppose the better question is why he was wearing my makeup. The answer after a few more prompting and probing questions, reveled that he is self conscious about his acne. I encouraged him to go in the side door of the church and quickly walk to the men's room, keep his eyes down, don't stop and talk to anyone and wash his face. Perhaps if I had left him go as is, he would have been less self conscious about his skin problems once a pile of people commented on what possibly could be wrong with his face, realizing that his "solution" to his problem, only caused to draw more attention to his zits than, leaving them alone.
A few dwarfs are of working age. All have customer service jobs. Prior to exiting for their shift, I catch the dwarf asking if they have all they need to be successful at work, name tag etc. They indicate that they do, so then I ask the trick question..."Have you brushed your teeth?" To which my dwarf, huffs, stomps and trudges off to brush. All while I am the voice of reason in the background, saying," Clean teeth and fresh breath is a gift that you give to all whom you will serve today!"
Waiting for our hairstylist to arrive in the kingdom for hair cuts, one of the male dwarfs indicates that he is going to ask to have some designs cut into his head tonight. With my cartoon question mark eyes, I ask him to repeat himself. " Mom, you know that my dad was black, and you know that I want to be black when I grow up." So I say, "I want to be a red hot Ferrari, to speed down the roads at 100+ miles an hour. Do I look like a Ferrari? " He shakes his head to indicate that I do not look like a Ferrari. I go on to say that no matter how much I want to be a red hot Ferrari, speeding down the highway, there is nothing that I can do to make it so. I can paint my hair red, wear a Ferrari tee shirt and even live in the garage, but all that wishing and attempting to act like a Ferrari will never make me a Ferrari. Like wise, his dress, his hair, his speech while he may be copying the style of a particular "black" person, he will never be black. I went on to further explain that while a man of color may have visited his home that was not his father. That his birth certificate states he is Caucasian. To which he responded first with "SEE!!, I told you. " (you can shake your head here that he thinks Caucasian means black, I sure still am!) Followed on the heals by this question: "So when you were growing up you wanted to be a car?"
Many of my dwarfs refuse to wear winter coats. Recently the weather has been frigid. I have given up the battle, let them freeze is my new motto. If the state comes to investigate the report of frozen life size people pops on the side of the road, I will show them the abundance of season appropriate attire and let them make up their own minds, however in the meantime there are still others that question our dwarfs on their lack of weather appropriate attire. One dwarf was recently reported as indicating the reason that they do not wear a winter coat is because once when they had their winter coat on, someone asked them to play baseball, and they ended up tearing the winter coat they were wearing. To avoid potential ruin of said winter jacket, in an impromptu mid winter baseball pick up game, they have determined it would be best to go jacket less.
I am sure there are more that I am missing: But really, you can't make this stuff up!
In regards to wardrobe requirements on a Sunday morning: I strongly request that my male dwarfs wear a collared shirt to church. I make no requirements on bottoms, or footwear. I think it is a fair request. To honor it in my mind, shows respect of the mother, and to God. (old school thinking I know, because no where in the Bible does it say how to dress for corporate worship)
Recently, after about 3 weeks of consistent conversations about the collared shirt "request", this week, a male dwarf made his way to the breakfast table in a beautiful collared shirt. He looked handsome, I expressed my thanks to him for being willing to honor the request, and told him that he looked handsome. Upon arriving at church said dwarf, made a parade around the inside spaces of the building, which I thought was odd, but tossed it off to the fact he was looking for someone. (In hindsight, he was making sure that everyone who was there could see him in his collared shirt; including his dad who went to the office early that day!) I went my way after a few minutes, as did he. We met up again in the sanctuary after an hour of Sunday School, and I saw his collared shirt was "missing" and in it's place a dingy undershirt and a hoodie. When questioned, his response was, "I did what you told me too, I wore a collared shirt to church, but then I took it off and put it in Dad's office before Sunday school because I think it is too small and I don't like it." Ah the joy of living with a word smith.
After a Sunday morning scurry to get in the big white van and make it to the church on time, one of my male dwarfs, upon exiting the van looks a little "off". I call him to come back to me, which he does, and upon closer inspection, I see that he is wearing my makeup. Foundation to be exact. So I say to the dwarf, "are you wearing my makeup?" "NO!!" says he like I have a few screws loose. Upon closer inspection it is clear that he is wearing my makeup. I say at this point, we are going to start over with this conversation. I am going to ask you again... this is where he interrupts with, "MOM, it came off the hand towel in your bathroom when I was wiping my mouth after brushing my teeth." No, I don't agree, and for a few reasons.... one is that there is never makeup on my towel. Secondly, IF it had been on my towel and you smeared it when wiping your mouth, the foundation smear would be around your lips and mouth, not specific dots on multiple points of your face. "So, don't interrupt me again, let me finish..." "We are going to start this conversation over again when I say the word go, and you are going to have an opportunity to tell me the truth." "GO! " Me to the dwarf, "are you wearing my makeup?" Dwarf with downcast eyes, "yes." Okay, I applaud him because this a good start to a truthful conversation. I suppose the better question is why he was wearing my makeup. The answer after a few more prompting and probing questions, reveled that he is self conscious about his acne. I encouraged him to go in the side door of the church and quickly walk to the men's room, keep his eyes down, don't stop and talk to anyone and wash his face. Perhaps if I had left him go as is, he would have been less self conscious about his skin problems once a pile of people commented on what possibly could be wrong with his face, realizing that his "solution" to his problem, only caused to draw more attention to his zits than, leaving them alone.
A few dwarfs are of working age. All have customer service jobs. Prior to exiting for their shift, I catch the dwarf asking if they have all they need to be successful at work, name tag etc. They indicate that they do, so then I ask the trick question..."Have you brushed your teeth?" To which my dwarf, huffs, stomps and trudges off to brush. All while I am the voice of reason in the background, saying," Clean teeth and fresh breath is a gift that you give to all whom you will serve today!"
Waiting for our hairstylist to arrive in the kingdom for hair cuts, one of the male dwarfs indicates that he is going to ask to have some designs cut into his head tonight. With my cartoon question mark eyes, I ask him to repeat himself. " Mom, you know that my dad was black, and you know that I want to be black when I grow up." So I say, "I want to be a red hot Ferrari, to speed down the roads at 100+ miles an hour. Do I look like a Ferrari? " He shakes his head to indicate that I do not look like a Ferrari. I go on to say that no matter how much I want to be a red hot Ferrari, speeding down the highway, there is nothing that I can do to make it so. I can paint my hair red, wear a Ferrari tee shirt and even live in the garage, but all that wishing and attempting to act like a Ferrari will never make me a Ferrari. Like wise, his dress, his hair, his speech while he may be copying the style of a particular "black" person, he will never be black. I went on to further explain that while a man of color may have visited his home that was not his father. That his birth certificate states he is Caucasian. To which he responded first with "SEE!!, I told you. " (you can shake your head here that he thinks Caucasian means black, I sure still am!) Followed on the heals by this question: "So when you were growing up you wanted to be a car?"
Many of my dwarfs refuse to wear winter coats. Recently the weather has been frigid. I have given up the battle, let them freeze is my new motto. If the state comes to investigate the report of frozen life size people pops on the side of the road, I will show them the abundance of season appropriate attire and let them make up their own minds, however in the meantime there are still others that question our dwarfs on their lack of weather appropriate attire. One dwarf was recently reported as indicating the reason that they do not wear a winter coat is because once when they had their winter coat on, someone asked them to play baseball, and they ended up tearing the winter coat they were wearing. To avoid potential ruin of said winter jacket, in an impromptu mid winter baseball pick up game, they have determined it would be best to go jacket less.
I am sure there are more that I am missing: But really, you can't make this stuff up!
Saturday, February 1, 2014
A new brand of toothpaste
Some of my dwarfs are, how should I put this and stay politically correct? Well they are hot messes. When you have one or two hot messes at a time the results can usually be undone, or worked through without a lot of fuss. However more than two, and things will inevitably fall apart, fast.
Hence starts the tale of three hot messes together, preparing for bed. At about 8:00 pm the Prince or I call for "brush and flush" This is the time of the night, when each dwarf, makes their final preparations for bed. They have already finished dinner, homework,showered, and had a snack, maybe even have watched a little television. But when the call comes they scurry to their respective bathroom sinks, to brush their teeth and if needed use the potty one more final time before heading to meet their pillows.
Happy the eldest dwarf of the current three that includes Grumpy and Bashful, gets to the sink first. He yells that there is no toothpaste. So from the bottom of the stairs I say, "dwarfs, there is always extra toothpaste in the hallway hutch." There is a scurry, I hear the yells of I will get it, no let me, I am mentally sighing to myself , because it just can not be this difficult to get a new tube of toothpaste.
Before I go any further, please note that Happy while the eldest will always be mentally a second grader, and Grumpy while two years his junior, is able to function on age level, he chooses not to, and Bashful, well he is the most brilliant of the three, but it is all stuck inside his head and only comes out in random spurts, this is not one of those random times.
Back to the task at hand - brushing dwarf teeth. So I call up the stairs with the ever threatening mom, you don't want me to come up there voice... and say calmly "boys how difficult is this, go the hutch and get a tube of toothpaste out, brush your teeth, let's get to bed."
Brushing commences. The two younger dwarfs come down so that I can see their teeth. They have a habit of making the brush wet, and swirling it their mouth, yet never connecting with any of their teeth. Mouths wide open, fresh minty breath in my face, I check and see this time, no second brushing is required. Grumpy says, my mouth tingles, and Bashful says, this toothpaste is good, strong minty flavor. Perfect ...as I partially listen to them ramble. This boys, is what fresh breath and a clean mouth are all about. Now get in bed so I can tuck you in.
Fast forward two days later. Sneezy is cleaning the kids bathroom. As this dwarf is putting toothbrushes and assorted tooth care items into the bathroom drawer so she can clean the sink, she calls to me, mom, is this toothpaste? I say let me see ? Where did you get it? She says it was in the toothbrush drawer. I look at the white tube in her hands, with the mint leaf on it and read the words on the tube. I start laughing uncontrollably. I grab the tube from her hand to go find the prince, and I show him and he starts laughing. Once we get it together, we call the three male dwarfs to the kitchen and show them the "toothpaste" tube. I say, "boys have you been using this toothpaste since Wednesday night? " All three shake their heads in agreement. I said "can someone read this too me please" Happy, can not, Bashful does, but has not idea what he is reading, and Grumpy says, oh it doesn't say toothpaste on it, but I just grabbed it because it had a mint leaf on it.
The boys have had minty fresh breath and tingly pain free gums every time they brushed for 2-4 hours...because they did not brush with toothpaste, but with mint Bengay.
You just can't make this stuff up.
Hence starts the tale of three hot messes together, preparing for bed. At about 8:00 pm the Prince or I call for "brush and flush" This is the time of the night, when each dwarf, makes their final preparations for bed. They have already finished dinner, homework,showered, and had a snack, maybe even have watched a little television. But when the call comes they scurry to their respective bathroom sinks, to brush their teeth and if needed use the potty one more final time before heading to meet their pillows.
Happy the eldest dwarf of the current three that includes Grumpy and Bashful, gets to the sink first. He yells that there is no toothpaste. So from the bottom of the stairs I say, "dwarfs, there is always extra toothpaste in the hallway hutch." There is a scurry, I hear the yells of I will get it, no let me, I am mentally sighing to myself , because it just can not be this difficult to get a new tube of toothpaste.
Before I go any further, please note that Happy while the eldest will always be mentally a second grader, and Grumpy while two years his junior, is able to function on age level, he chooses not to, and Bashful, well he is the most brilliant of the three, but it is all stuck inside his head and only comes out in random spurts, this is not one of those random times.
Back to the task at hand - brushing dwarf teeth. So I call up the stairs with the ever threatening mom, you don't want me to come up there voice... and say calmly "boys how difficult is this, go the hutch and get a tube of toothpaste out, brush your teeth, let's get to bed."
Brushing commences. The two younger dwarfs come down so that I can see their teeth. They have a habit of making the brush wet, and swirling it their mouth, yet never connecting with any of their teeth. Mouths wide open, fresh minty breath in my face, I check and see this time, no second brushing is required. Grumpy says, my mouth tingles, and Bashful says, this toothpaste is good, strong minty flavor. Perfect ...as I partially listen to them ramble. This boys, is what fresh breath and a clean mouth are all about. Now get in bed so I can tuck you in.
Fast forward two days later. Sneezy is cleaning the kids bathroom. As this dwarf is putting toothbrushes and assorted tooth care items into the bathroom drawer so she can clean the sink, she calls to me, mom, is this toothpaste? I say let me see ? Where did you get it? She says it was in the toothbrush drawer. I look at the white tube in her hands, with the mint leaf on it and read the words on the tube. I start laughing uncontrollably. I grab the tube from her hand to go find the prince, and I show him and he starts laughing. Once we get it together, we call the three male dwarfs to the kitchen and show them the "toothpaste" tube. I say, "boys have you been using this toothpaste since Wednesday night? " All three shake their heads in agreement. I said "can someone read this too me please" Happy, can not, Bashful does, but has not idea what he is reading, and Grumpy says, oh it doesn't say toothpaste on it, but I just grabbed it because it had a mint leaf on it.
The boys have had minty fresh breath and tingly pain free gums every time they brushed for 2-4 hours...because they did not brush with toothpaste, but with mint Bengay.
You just can't make this stuff up.
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