Saturday, February 1, 2014

A new brand of toothpaste

Some of my dwarfs are, how should I put this and stay politically correct?  Well they are hot messes.  When you have one or two hot messes at a time the results can usually be undone, or worked through without a lot of fuss.  However more than two, and things will inevitably fall apart, fast.

Hence starts the tale of three hot messes together, preparing for bed.  At about 8:00 pm the Prince or I call for "brush and flush"  This is the time of the night, when each dwarf, makes their final preparations for bed.  They have already finished dinner, homework,showered, and had a snack, maybe even have watched a little television.  But when the call comes they scurry to their respective bathroom sinks, to brush their teeth and if needed use the potty one more final time before heading to meet their pillows. 

Happy the eldest dwarf of the current three that includes Grumpy and Bashful, gets to the sink first.  He yells that there is no toothpaste.  So from the bottom of the stairs I say, "dwarfs, there is always extra toothpaste in the hallway hutch."  There is a scurry, I hear the yells of I will get it, no let me,  I am mentally sighing to myself , because it just can not be this difficult to get a new tube of toothpaste.

Before I go any further, please note that Happy while the eldest will always be mentally a second grader, and Grumpy while two years his junior, is able to function on age level, he chooses not to, and Bashful, well he is the most brilliant of the three, but it is all stuck inside his head and only comes out in random spurts, this is not one of those random times.

Back to the task at hand - brushing dwarf teeth.   So I call up the stairs with the ever threatening mom, you don't want me to come up there voice... and say calmly "boys how difficult is this, go the hutch and get a tube of toothpaste out, brush your teeth, let's get to bed." 

Brushing commences.  The two younger dwarfs come down so that I can see their teeth.  They have a habit of making the brush wet, and swirling it their mouth, yet never connecting with any of their teeth.  Mouths wide open, fresh minty breath in my face, I check and see this time, no second brushing is required.  Grumpy says, my mouth tingles, and Bashful says, this toothpaste is good, strong minty flavor.  Perfect I partially listen to them ramble.  This boys, is what fresh breath and a clean mouth are all about.  Now get in bed so I can tuck you in.  

Fast forward two days later.  Sneezy is cleaning the kids bathroom.  As this dwarf is putting toothbrushes and assorted tooth care items into the bathroom drawer so she can clean the sink, she calls to me, mom, is this toothpaste?  I say let me see ?  Where did you get it?  She says it was in the toothbrush drawer.  I look at the white tube in her hands, with the mint leaf on it and read the words on the tube.  I start laughing uncontrollably.  I grab the tube from her hand to go find the prince, and I show him and he starts laughing.  Once we get it together, we call the three male dwarfs to the kitchen and show them the "toothpaste" tube.  I say, "boys have you been using this toothpaste since Wednesday night? " All three shake their heads in agreement.    I said "can someone read this too me please"   Happy, can not, Bashful does, but has not idea what he is reading, and Grumpy says, oh it doesn't say toothpaste on it,  but I just grabbed it because it had a mint leaf on it.   

The boys have had minty fresh breath and tingly pain free gums every time they brushed for 2-4 hours...because they did not brush with toothpaste, but with  mint Bengay.  

You just can't make this stuff up. 

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