Well I knew that it would happen. Despite my best intentions, despite my careful planning and organization. I knew that while the Prince was away, I would lose my cool. However I did not think it would be so soon in the game... I only made it 9 days.
Friday night was the night, and the situation that lead to my meltdown has a bit of a back story. So follow along as I grow the story of life in the kingdom, of the Land of Half Way.
My dwarfs are all wonderful, amazing, thoughtful, kind and generous with their time... when they are with others. But in the kingdom of the Land of Half Way, this is what daily life tends to look like:
A pile of clean towels stacked outside the closed and locked bathroom door, with a wet, yet clean, dwarf on the other side of the door yelling that there are no towels, when they clearly had to hurtle the towels to get into the bathroom.
Dirty dishes coming out of the dishwasher, dried and crusty with food residue, being replaced in their proper, or close to it, storage spots, as such unclean... and dwarfs melting down about how disgusting it is that there are dirty utensils, bowls etc coming out of the cupboards when the go to get a snack or breakfast.
I can't find my _______________(you fill in the blank). Socks, gym uniform, ear buds, sneakers backpack, lunch box... however if each dwarf used the tools available to them to be successful in storing and staging their belongings and not being too lazy to use the shoe rack, the bag hooks, the separate personal laundry baskets, these conversations would be almost non existent in regular day to day conversation.
Taking the trash out of the can in the kitchen and walking it to the garage, not placing it in the out door cans and not replacing the bag with a clean fresh bag in the inside can.
Standing in front of the sink in the bathroom, with a toothbrush in their mouth, but never really brushing and having to go back multiple times to do the job completely.
Dumping all their clean laundry that is sorted and stacked in one drawer, vs separating it out into the appropriate spaces; socks/underwear, PJ's, tee shirts and pants drawers, and then freaking out because they have no clean socks. Which upon closer inspection one will find the socks are all in the bottom drawer where the pants should be, along with all of last week's clean laundry.
Closing a door, but never latching it - this can be the sliding glass door, the garage door into the house or the fridge and freezer doors.... any door is subject to not being latched (car doors are oft found hanging open the next morning from the previous evenings sports practice or evening activity.
Oh, I could go on but I think you get the picture. So fast forward to Friday - I have a great system set up for the storage of Rubbermaid storage containers. You stack the like size containers inside one another and there is a basket to collect ALL lids. After a hectic and later than anticipated dinner because of afternoon doctors appointments and running dwarfs to work, I sent all the remaining dwarfs away from the kitchen so I could regain my sanity. Cleaning up from dinner is often a good time to get some quiet time and refocus. Not the case on this particular night as I reached into the cupboard to retrieve the containers needed for storing the Chicken Alfredo leftovers.
The chaos that met my eyes was shocking. Things just tossed into the space, falling out on the floor as I opened the door, scattering everywhere. The harder I tried to contain the overflow, the worse it became. Sadly, this only escalate my exasperation and frustration. In one of my non finer moments, I came up off the floor to a standing position ranting and raving about how I was going to begin doing things HALF WAY. Oh, I wish I could say it stopped there... but because of my loud grunts and groans of frustration most of the kingdom had already appeared in the kitchen to see what was wrong... and so with as much calm as I could muster I laid out for them how things were going to start to change in the Land of Half Way, when I started doing things for them half way:
The conversation, one sided as it was, went something like this... "I am going to start doing things for each of you only half way, because with the few small things you are tasked with doing it takes you too much effort to do them correctly and to completion, daily you short step your responsibilities and you only do them half way. So, be prepared, as I take you to church, work, school functions or baseball practice I will drive you half way there, pull off on the side of the road and make you get out and walk the rest of the way. Understand that when it is your laundry day, I am only going to do your laundry half way. I will wash it, but will take all the wet laundry to your bed and lay it in a heap instead of finishing the job and placing it all in the dryer. I am going to prepare your dinner, but not cook it, you will be required to eat it cold, raw and crunchy. I am only going to help you find one shoe, if I find them both, I keep one, you wear the other. I am only going to give you half an answer to the question that you ask, I am only going to help you half the time that I feel like it, the rest of the time I am going to ignore you." While clearly this outburst had been building over time and was not pretty to witness, by the looks of shock and awe on their faces, I felt that it needed to be said.
We did chuckle about the fact that if we all half stepped things in life, we would have significant and burdensome consequences to face. The visual picture that I presented to them was vivid. Since they had not thought much about how every time they half step their way through an activity/chore that they know needs to be completed in a specific manner, they are making more work and increasing stress in those around them because eventually someone does have to step in and fix what they left undone. Leading to a conversation about taking the time to do something right the first time actually saves time in the long run. Did I get through???
I wish that I could say the message got through, however as of this
morning, I was looking at the last four pieces of bread because no one
indicated that they were eating from the last loaf of bread, and a dwarf stepped
over an entire basket of his clean laundry when leaving the bathroom
today, in search of something to wear to school... but as the Prince is fond of saying life is a marathon, not a sprint.
Really, you can't make this stuff up!
Monday, April 7, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Miscellaneous Moments in the House of Many
There have been several random and miscellaneous "You can't make this stuff up" episodes in our home the last few weeks. None of them have been substantial enough to generate a complete post, so here they are in no particular order: (all dwarfs are remaining anonymous for this post)
In regards to wardrobe requirements on a Sunday morning: I strongly request that my male dwarfs wear a collared shirt to church. I make no requirements on bottoms, or footwear. I think it is a fair request. To honor it in my mind, shows respect of the mother, and to God. (old school thinking I know, because no where in the Bible does it say how to dress for corporate worship)
Recently, after about 3 weeks of consistent conversations about the collared shirt "request", this week, a male dwarf made his way to the breakfast table in a beautiful collared shirt. He looked handsome, I expressed my thanks to him for being willing to honor the request, and told him that he looked handsome. Upon arriving at church said dwarf, made a parade around the inside spaces of the building, which I thought was odd, but tossed it off to the fact he was looking for someone. (In hindsight, he was making sure that everyone who was there could see him in his collared shirt; including his dad who went to the office early that day!) I went my way after a few minutes, as did he. We met up again in the sanctuary after an hour of Sunday School, and I saw his collared shirt was "missing" and in it's place a dingy undershirt and a hoodie. When questioned, his response was, "I did what you told me too, I wore a collared shirt to church, but then I took it off and put it in Dad's office before Sunday school because I think it is too small and I don't like it." Ah the joy of living with a word smith.
After a Sunday morning scurry to get in the big white van and make it to the church on time, one of my male dwarfs, upon exiting the van looks a little "off". I call him to come back to me, which he does, and upon closer inspection, I see that he is wearing my makeup. Foundation to be exact. So I say to the dwarf, "are you wearing my makeup?" "NO!!" says he like I have a few screws loose. Upon closer inspection it is clear that he is wearing my makeup. I say at this point, we are going to start over with this conversation. I am going to ask you again... this is where he interrupts with, "MOM, it came off the hand towel in your bathroom when I was wiping my mouth after brushing my teeth." No, I don't agree, and for a few reasons.... one is that there is never makeup on my towel. Secondly, IF it had been on my towel and you smeared it when wiping your mouth, the foundation smear would be around your lips and mouth, not specific dots on multiple points of your face. "So, don't interrupt me again, let me finish..." "We are going to start this conversation over again when I say the word go, and you are going to have an opportunity to tell me the truth." "GO! " Me to the dwarf, "are you wearing my makeup?" Dwarf with downcast eyes, "yes." Okay, I applaud him because this a good start to a truthful conversation. I suppose the better question is why he was wearing my makeup. The answer after a few more prompting and probing questions, reveled that he is self conscious about his acne. I encouraged him to go in the side door of the church and quickly walk to the men's room, keep his eyes down, don't stop and talk to anyone and wash his face. Perhaps if I had left him go as is, he would have been less self conscious about his skin problems once a pile of people commented on what possibly could be wrong with his face, realizing that his "solution" to his problem, only caused to draw more attention to his zits than, leaving them alone.
A few dwarfs are of working age. All have customer service jobs. Prior to exiting for their shift, I catch the dwarf asking if they have all they need to be successful at work, name tag etc. They indicate that they do, so then I ask the trick question..."Have you brushed your teeth?" To which my dwarf, huffs, stomps and trudges off to brush. All while I am the voice of reason in the background, saying," Clean teeth and fresh breath is a gift that you give to all whom you will serve today!"
Waiting for our hairstylist to arrive in the kingdom for hair cuts, one of the male dwarfs indicates that he is going to ask to have some designs cut into his head tonight. With my cartoon question mark eyes, I ask him to repeat himself. " Mom, you know that my dad was black, and you know that I want to be black when I grow up." So I say, "I want to be a red hot Ferrari, to speed down the roads at 100+ miles an hour. Do I look like a Ferrari? " He shakes his head to indicate that I do not look like a Ferrari. I go on to say that no matter how much I want to be a red hot Ferrari, speeding down the highway, there is nothing that I can do to make it so. I can paint my hair red, wear a Ferrari tee shirt and even live in the garage, but all that wishing and attempting to act like a Ferrari will never make me a Ferrari. Like wise, his dress, his hair, his speech while he may be copying the style of a particular "black" person, he will never be black. I went on to further explain that while a man of color may have visited his home that was not his father. That his birth certificate states he is Caucasian. To which he responded first with "SEE!!, I told you. " (you can shake your head here that he thinks Caucasian means black, I sure still am!) Followed on the heals by this question: "So when you were growing up you wanted to be a car?"
Many of my dwarfs refuse to wear winter coats. Recently the weather has been frigid. I have given up the battle, let them freeze is my new motto. If the state comes to investigate the report of frozen life size people pops on the side of the road, I will show them the abundance of season appropriate attire and let them make up their own minds, however in the meantime there are still others that question our dwarfs on their lack of weather appropriate attire. One dwarf was recently reported as indicating the reason that they do not wear a winter coat is because once when they had their winter coat on, someone asked them to play baseball, and they ended up tearing the winter coat they were wearing. To avoid potential ruin of said winter jacket, in an impromptu mid winter baseball pick up game, they have determined it would be best to go jacket less.
I am sure there are more that I am missing: But really, you can't make this stuff up!
In regards to wardrobe requirements on a Sunday morning: I strongly request that my male dwarfs wear a collared shirt to church. I make no requirements on bottoms, or footwear. I think it is a fair request. To honor it in my mind, shows respect of the mother, and to God. (old school thinking I know, because no where in the Bible does it say how to dress for corporate worship)
Recently, after about 3 weeks of consistent conversations about the collared shirt "request", this week, a male dwarf made his way to the breakfast table in a beautiful collared shirt. He looked handsome, I expressed my thanks to him for being willing to honor the request, and told him that he looked handsome. Upon arriving at church said dwarf, made a parade around the inside spaces of the building, which I thought was odd, but tossed it off to the fact he was looking for someone. (In hindsight, he was making sure that everyone who was there could see him in his collared shirt; including his dad who went to the office early that day!) I went my way after a few minutes, as did he. We met up again in the sanctuary after an hour of Sunday School, and I saw his collared shirt was "missing" and in it's place a dingy undershirt and a hoodie. When questioned, his response was, "I did what you told me too, I wore a collared shirt to church, but then I took it off and put it in Dad's office before Sunday school because I think it is too small and I don't like it." Ah the joy of living with a word smith.
After a Sunday morning scurry to get in the big white van and make it to the church on time, one of my male dwarfs, upon exiting the van looks a little "off". I call him to come back to me, which he does, and upon closer inspection, I see that he is wearing my makeup. Foundation to be exact. So I say to the dwarf, "are you wearing my makeup?" "NO!!" says he like I have a few screws loose. Upon closer inspection it is clear that he is wearing my makeup. I say at this point, we are going to start over with this conversation. I am going to ask you again... this is where he interrupts with, "MOM, it came off the hand towel in your bathroom when I was wiping my mouth after brushing my teeth." No, I don't agree, and for a few reasons.... one is that there is never makeup on my towel. Secondly, IF it had been on my towel and you smeared it when wiping your mouth, the foundation smear would be around your lips and mouth, not specific dots on multiple points of your face. "So, don't interrupt me again, let me finish..." "We are going to start this conversation over again when I say the word go, and you are going to have an opportunity to tell me the truth." "GO! " Me to the dwarf, "are you wearing my makeup?" Dwarf with downcast eyes, "yes." Okay, I applaud him because this a good start to a truthful conversation. I suppose the better question is why he was wearing my makeup. The answer after a few more prompting and probing questions, reveled that he is self conscious about his acne. I encouraged him to go in the side door of the church and quickly walk to the men's room, keep his eyes down, don't stop and talk to anyone and wash his face. Perhaps if I had left him go as is, he would have been less self conscious about his skin problems once a pile of people commented on what possibly could be wrong with his face, realizing that his "solution" to his problem, only caused to draw more attention to his zits than, leaving them alone.
A few dwarfs are of working age. All have customer service jobs. Prior to exiting for their shift, I catch the dwarf asking if they have all they need to be successful at work, name tag etc. They indicate that they do, so then I ask the trick question..."Have you brushed your teeth?" To which my dwarf, huffs, stomps and trudges off to brush. All while I am the voice of reason in the background, saying," Clean teeth and fresh breath is a gift that you give to all whom you will serve today!"
Waiting for our hairstylist to arrive in the kingdom for hair cuts, one of the male dwarfs indicates that he is going to ask to have some designs cut into his head tonight. With my cartoon question mark eyes, I ask him to repeat himself. " Mom, you know that my dad was black, and you know that I want to be black when I grow up." So I say, "I want to be a red hot Ferrari, to speed down the roads at 100+ miles an hour. Do I look like a Ferrari? " He shakes his head to indicate that I do not look like a Ferrari. I go on to say that no matter how much I want to be a red hot Ferrari, speeding down the highway, there is nothing that I can do to make it so. I can paint my hair red, wear a Ferrari tee shirt and even live in the garage, but all that wishing and attempting to act like a Ferrari will never make me a Ferrari. Like wise, his dress, his hair, his speech while he may be copying the style of a particular "black" person, he will never be black. I went on to further explain that while a man of color may have visited his home that was not his father. That his birth certificate states he is Caucasian. To which he responded first with "SEE!!, I told you. " (you can shake your head here that he thinks Caucasian means black, I sure still am!) Followed on the heals by this question: "So when you were growing up you wanted to be a car?"
Many of my dwarfs refuse to wear winter coats. Recently the weather has been frigid. I have given up the battle, let them freeze is my new motto. If the state comes to investigate the report of frozen life size people pops on the side of the road, I will show them the abundance of season appropriate attire and let them make up their own minds, however in the meantime there are still others that question our dwarfs on their lack of weather appropriate attire. One dwarf was recently reported as indicating the reason that they do not wear a winter coat is because once when they had their winter coat on, someone asked them to play baseball, and they ended up tearing the winter coat they were wearing. To avoid potential ruin of said winter jacket, in an impromptu mid winter baseball pick up game, they have determined it would be best to go jacket less.
I am sure there are more that I am missing: But really, you can't make this stuff up!
Saturday, February 1, 2014
A new brand of toothpaste
Some of my dwarfs are, how should I put this and stay politically correct? Well they are hot messes. When you have one or two hot messes at a time the results can usually be undone, or worked through without a lot of fuss. However more than two, and things will inevitably fall apart, fast.
Hence starts the tale of three hot messes together, preparing for bed. At about 8:00 pm the Prince or I call for "brush and flush" This is the time of the night, when each dwarf, makes their final preparations for bed. They have already finished dinner, homework,showered, and had a snack, maybe even have watched a little television. But when the call comes they scurry to their respective bathroom sinks, to brush their teeth and if needed use the potty one more final time before heading to meet their pillows.
Happy the eldest dwarf of the current three that includes Grumpy and Bashful, gets to the sink first. He yells that there is no toothpaste. So from the bottom of the stairs I say, "dwarfs, there is always extra toothpaste in the hallway hutch." There is a scurry, I hear the yells of I will get it, no let me, I am mentally sighing to myself , because it just can not be this difficult to get a new tube of toothpaste.
Before I go any further, please note that Happy while the eldest will always be mentally a second grader, and Grumpy while two years his junior, is able to function on age level, he chooses not to, and Bashful, well he is the most brilliant of the three, but it is all stuck inside his head and only comes out in random spurts, this is not one of those random times.
Back to the task at hand - brushing dwarf teeth. So I call up the stairs with the ever threatening mom, you don't want me to come up there voice... and say calmly "boys how difficult is this, go the hutch and get a tube of toothpaste out, brush your teeth, let's get to bed."
Brushing commences. The two younger dwarfs come down so that I can see their teeth. They have a habit of making the brush wet, and swirling it their mouth, yet never connecting with any of their teeth. Mouths wide open, fresh minty breath in my face, I check and see this time, no second brushing is required. Grumpy says, my mouth tingles, and Bashful says, this toothpaste is good, strong minty flavor. Perfect ...as I partially listen to them ramble. This boys, is what fresh breath and a clean mouth are all about. Now get in bed so I can tuck you in.
Fast forward two days later. Sneezy is cleaning the kids bathroom. As this dwarf is putting toothbrushes and assorted tooth care items into the bathroom drawer so she can clean the sink, she calls to me, mom, is this toothpaste? I say let me see ? Where did you get it? She says it was in the toothbrush drawer. I look at the white tube in her hands, with the mint leaf on it and read the words on the tube. I start laughing uncontrollably. I grab the tube from her hand to go find the prince, and I show him and he starts laughing. Once we get it together, we call the three male dwarfs to the kitchen and show them the "toothpaste" tube. I say, "boys have you been using this toothpaste since Wednesday night? " All three shake their heads in agreement. I said "can someone read this too me please" Happy, can not, Bashful does, but has not idea what he is reading, and Grumpy says, oh it doesn't say toothpaste on it, but I just grabbed it because it had a mint leaf on it.
The boys have had minty fresh breath and tingly pain free gums every time they brushed for 2-4 hours...because they did not brush with toothpaste, but with mint Bengay.
You just can't make this stuff up.
Hence starts the tale of three hot messes together, preparing for bed. At about 8:00 pm the Prince or I call for "brush and flush" This is the time of the night, when each dwarf, makes their final preparations for bed. They have already finished dinner, homework,showered, and had a snack, maybe even have watched a little television. But when the call comes they scurry to their respective bathroom sinks, to brush their teeth and if needed use the potty one more final time before heading to meet their pillows.
Happy the eldest dwarf of the current three that includes Grumpy and Bashful, gets to the sink first. He yells that there is no toothpaste. So from the bottom of the stairs I say, "dwarfs, there is always extra toothpaste in the hallway hutch." There is a scurry, I hear the yells of I will get it, no let me, I am mentally sighing to myself , because it just can not be this difficult to get a new tube of toothpaste.
Before I go any further, please note that Happy while the eldest will always be mentally a second grader, and Grumpy while two years his junior, is able to function on age level, he chooses not to, and Bashful, well he is the most brilliant of the three, but it is all stuck inside his head and only comes out in random spurts, this is not one of those random times.
Back to the task at hand - brushing dwarf teeth. So I call up the stairs with the ever threatening mom, you don't want me to come up there voice... and say calmly "boys how difficult is this, go the hutch and get a tube of toothpaste out, brush your teeth, let's get to bed."
Brushing commences. The two younger dwarfs come down so that I can see their teeth. They have a habit of making the brush wet, and swirling it their mouth, yet never connecting with any of their teeth. Mouths wide open, fresh minty breath in my face, I check and see this time, no second brushing is required. Grumpy says, my mouth tingles, and Bashful says, this toothpaste is good, strong minty flavor. Perfect ...as I partially listen to them ramble. This boys, is what fresh breath and a clean mouth are all about. Now get in bed so I can tuck you in.
Fast forward two days later. Sneezy is cleaning the kids bathroom. As this dwarf is putting toothbrushes and assorted tooth care items into the bathroom drawer so she can clean the sink, she calls to me, mom, is this toothpaste? I say let me see ? Where did you get it? She says it was in the toothbrush drawer. I look at the white tube in her hands, with the mint leaf on it and read the words on the tube. I start laughing uncontrollably. I grab the tube from her hand to go find the prince, and I show him and he starts laughing. Once we get it together, we call the three male dwarfs to the kitchen and show them the "toothpaste" tube. I say, "boys have you been using this toothpaste since Wednesday night? " All three shake their heads in agreement. I said "can someone read this too me please" Happy, can not, Bashful does, but has not idea what he is reading, and Grumpy says, oh it doesn't say toothpaste on it, but I just grabbed it because it had a mint leaf on it.
The boys have had minty fresh breath and tingly pain free gums every time they brushed for 2-4 hours...because they did not brush with toothpaste, but with mint Bengay.
You just can't make this stuff up.
Observations from a Middle School Girls Basketball Coach
I must say that I love basketball! Which suits me well this season, since I am coaching and four dwarfs are playing. Some weeks this season, we (the prince and I ) have witnessed as many as 14 games and attended as many as six practices. However as a former player (aka bench warmer), and a second year coach, here are some of the joys that I have experienced coaching my middle school girls.
My favorite part of basketball is practicing. I love running with the girls. I enjoy laps, drills, and scrimmages. My philosophy has always been, not to ask the girls to do something that I myself an not willing to (attempt) doing. So the first observation is this: it is harder than it looks and the next day, I hurt a lot! So maybe observations number two is, youth is wasted on the young. :)
It is awkward when the coach yells at the player shooting foul shots..." Take your time, you got this sweetheart!" But then again, I have never really cared about awkward, and as the momma of that player, I just wanted to let her know that not only does her coach think she can do this, so does her Momma! So observation next, always be your dwarf's biggest advocate!
My least favorite part of basketball is the games. So much stress. Adjusting strategy on the fly, remembering to use my time out's, trying to rotate as many of the players through as possible, the ups and downs, the comebacks, and the hard losses, and I have given up trying to sit in a seat! But in this I have learned a lot about a middle school girls determination which leads to my next observation, when they put their minds to it, they can and will get the job done! Sometimes it is not pretty, but the job gets done.
I know this is an obvious one, BUT a win is a win, a loss is a loss! No matter if it is by one point or 20. Regardless if we ran our offense or our defense correctly or at all, at the sound of the last buzzer, If you are ahead in points you are the winner. If you are behind in points you are not. You slap hands with the opponents, thank them for a good game, and head to the next game, knowing it is a new opportunity to play hard, grow and learn.
When a girl (or boy for that matter) shows an interest in playing a sport, it is a great idea to get them in a program where they can learn the basics and grow to love the game. This observation is basic human knowledge, but I believe it bears repeating, a child with a willing and teachable spirit will soar and grow and become confident in their skills and knowledge of whatever it is they are interested in. For this particular conversation it is basketball, however it applies across the board. Lesson here: even though it is not easy directing a pile of giggling chatty girls, it is important to invest in the lives of young women, to help them become well rounded and knowledgeable about the things that are of interest to them.
I love that the Doc is helping me coach. Again, I think this should be able to go without mention, but since it has brought me such great joy (and it's my blog after all) I am going to list it in my observations! No matter how old your kids are, it is important to find time and things to do together. Spending time with Doc at practice and games has been great fun, I am sad when she is not able to make a practice or a game, and I am grateful that she balances me out, we make a pretty good team!
Again a statement of the obvious, but brings a smile to my face even as I type this, no two players are the same. Some have more natural ability, some have more style, some more flair, some have more determination, some have great height, some have great ball handling skills, some are play makers, some are point makers, some are encouragers, some are short tempered, some are longsuffering, some are fearful, others are bold, some are confused, and none, not one of them bounce when they hit the gym floor, HOWEVER... when you roll them all together, they make a great team!
We are getting close to closing this 2014 season. My life has been touched by each of these 17 girls. I have finally gotten all their names correct, but still can not tell you which grades they are all in, or their parents first names, without thinking REALLY hard! I did not always make the best decisions during a game, nor was I always able to get everyone the playing time that they desired, but these 17 are always an encouragement to me and a blessing!
Here are a few of my favorite quotes and questions from the season:
"Coach (at the conclusion of a nail biter of a game where only 6 of the 17 played, from a "bench warmer") This was the best game ever, it was so exciting, so much fun I felt like my heart might explode. I can't wait to play in a game like that!" (insert the wide eyed innocence and sincerity of a sweet 5th grade girl)
"Coach, how do you know when you start tip off, which basket is yours, can you just pick one if you get the tip?"
In pre game warm ups..." I think I am going to kick someone today? You mean kick some bum today? No, kick someone, I think I am going to have to use one of my fouls today."
"Coach, do you think I might play today? I am not ready to play today?" To which I responded, "if you are dressed in your uniform, have attended all the practices and are sitting on the bench, there is the potential for you to play." "Can I go change?"
"What happens if I shoot the ball in the other team's basket during a game?" " You will have scored two points for the other team."
"Why is that other team so mean, they keep stealing our ball."
Really, you can't make this stuff up, and I am glad!
My favorite part of basketball is practicing. I love running with the girls. I enjoy laps, drills, and scrimmages. My philosophy has always been, not to ask the girls to do something that I myself an not willing to (attempt) doing. So the first observation is this: it is harder than it looks and the next day, I hurt a lot! So maybe observations number two is, youth is wasted on the young. :)
It is awkward when the coach yells at the player shooting foul shots..." Take your time, you got this sweetheart!" But then again, I have never really cared about awkward, and as the momma of that player, I just wanted to let her know that not only does her coach think she can do this, so does her Momma! So observation next, always be your dwarf's biggest advocate!
My least favorite part of basketball is the games. So much stress. Adjusting strategy on the fly, remembering to use my time out's, trying to rotate as many of the players through as possible, the ups and downs, the comebacks, and the hard losses, and I have given up trying to sit in a seat! But in this I have learned a lot about a middle school girls determination which leads to my next observation, when they put their minds to it, they can and will get the job done! Sometimes it is not pretty, but the job gets done.
I know this is an obvious one, BUT a win is a win, a loss is a loss! No matter if it is by one point or 20. Regardless if we ran our offense or our defense correctly or at all, at the sound of the last buzzer, If you are ahead in points you are the winner. If you are behind in points you are not. You slap hands with the opponents, thank them for a good game, and head to the next game, knowing it is a new opportunity to play hard, grow and learn.
When a girl (or boy for that matter) shows an interest in playing a sport, it is a great idea to get them in a program where they can learn the basics and grow to love the game. This observation is basic human knowledge, but I believe it bears repeating, a child with a willing and teachable spirit will soar and grow and become confident in their skills and knowledge of whatever it is they are interested in. For this particular conversation it is basketball, however it applies across the board. Lesson here: even though it is not easy directing a pile of giggling chatty girls, it is important to invest in the lives of young women, to help them become well rounded and knowledgeable about the things that are of interest to them.
I love that the Doc is helping me coach. Again, I think this should be able to go without mention, but since it has brought me such great joy (and it's my blog after all) I am going to list it in my observations! No matter how old your kids are, it is important to find time and things to do together. Spending time with Doc at practice and games has been great fun, I am sad when she is not able to make a practice or a game, and I am grateful that she balances me out, we make a pretty good team!
Again a statement of the obvious, but brings a smile to my face even as I type this, no two players are the same. Some have more natural ability, some have more style, some more flair, some have more determination, some have great height, some have great ball handling skills, some are play makers, some are point makers, some are encouragers, some are short tempered, some are longsuffering, some are fearful, others are bold, some are confused, and none, not one of them bounce when they hit the gym floor, HOWEVER... when you roll them all together, they make a great team!
We are getting close to closing this 2014 season. My life has been touched by each of these 17 girls. I have finally gotten all their names correct, but still can not tell you which grades they are all in, or their parents first names, without thinking REALLY hard! I did not always make the best decisions during a game, nor was I always able to get everyone the playing time that they desired, but these 17 are always an encouragement to me and a blessing!
Here are a few of my favorite quotes and questions from the season:
"Coach (at the conclusion of a nail biter of a game where only 6 of the 17 played, from a "bench warmer") This was the best game ever, it was so exciting, so much fun I felt like my heart might explode. I can't wait to play in a game like that!" (insert the wide eyed innocence and sincerity of a sweet 5th grade girl)
"Coach, how do you know when you start tip off, which basket is yours, can you just pick one if you get the tip?"
In pre game warm ups..." I think I am going to kick someone today? You mean kick some bum today? No, kick someone, I think I am going to have to use one of my fouls today."
"Coach, do you think I might play today? I am not ready to play today?" To which I responded, "if you are dressed in your uniform, have attended all the practices and are sitting on the bench, there is the potential for you to play." "Can I go change?"
"What happens if I shoot the ball in the other team's basket during a game?" " You will have scored two points for the other team."
"Why is that other team so mean, they keep stealing our ball."
Really, you can't make this stuff up, and I am glad!
Thursday, January 2, 2014
When it is all said and done...
As I consider that a week ago at this time, I was digging out from the remnants of flying paper, tape and ribbon I am even more convinced that, when it is all said and done, the small things that went, in my mind undone, slipped by unnoticed. The lesson in all this, is that next year, I am going to make a specific list and break it up into manageable milestones and "to be done" dates. Once the date is past, if that particular item is not accomplished, then it will go undone. Period.
I am going to be more purposeful in packing up my Christmas decorations this year. As in years past, I will continue to pack them room by room (themes for each room) but I am going to weed out the items that I have not used for several years in a row. Make a specific pile for old family items that I want to save just because they are old, and fill that box and seal it. Once it is filled and sealed, all other items are going to be tossed. (Well maybe gently laid in the to donate or give away box) but they are not going back into the basement. In my reorganizing and discarding , I am going to make sure that all items kept, are loved and will be used for years to come. If they have a special memory or meaning, I will mark them on the bottom and make sure that the story that goes with that item is documented as well.
I have said this many times before, Christmas is by far my favorite holiday, and decorating brings me great joy, however I know that it is easier to do on a large scale when systematically organized. By placing all the like/themed items from one room together, I am then able to make my list for decorating very specific. For example: three weeks out: decorate the half bath with reindeer When I pull the reindeer decorations from storage, I will empty the box of the decorations and then remove all the daily half bath items, place them in the empty bin, clean the room well, and then set up all the seasonal decorations. Using this method, I can also prioritize the "important/large decorating" areas and if I am crazy busy, can let the smaller themes go for the year. Another benefit to this systematic way of doing things is that un-decorating can be as simple as room by room as well.
I am planning to include on this list all items from card printing and addressing, to craft making, to cookie baking, gift purchasing and wrapping, meal prep, with deadlines for each. The items that require more effort and time and planning will be scheduled for early fall, Sept or October (family photo for the card, crafts). In this manner, I will be able to see the long term goal; having a festive, decorated house, well stocked with groceries, ready to entertain, but will be able to look at the small details, week by week or day by day to accomplish this goal. Knowing that any small piece left undone, will not cause me stress.
This year, I did not hurry to purchase last minute gift items, no one noticed.
This year, I did not send Christmas cards, no one called to ask me why they did not receive a card from our family.
This year, I did not decorate outside, my neighbors did not call the homeowners association.
This year, I did not don't send cookies to all my neighbors, and they were kind enough to still gift us cookies and candy and send us cards.
In looking back over the past Christmas season, I am incredibly blessed, not stressed and desire to carry this to the future. Too many years I have been miserable, causing hard feelings and stress in my home, because of my lack of preparedness or because of my perception of all the "little" things that had to get done before Christmas morning. I must say this has been a wonderfully liberating revelation. NO ONE noticed anything was amiss! Looking forward to many more non self inflicted stress less holidays!
I am going to be more purposeful in packing up my Christmas decorations this year. As in years past, I will continue to pack them room by room (themes for each room) but I am going to weed out the items that I have not used for several years in a row. Make a specific pile for old family items that I want to save just because they are old, and fill that box and seal it. Once it is filled and sealed, all other items are going to be tossed. (Well maybe gently laid in the to donate or give away box) but they are not going back into the basement. In my reorganizing and discarding , I am going to make sure that all items kept, are loved and will be used for years to come. If they have a special memory or meaning, I will mark them on the bottom and make sure that the story that goes with that item is documented as well.
I have said this many times before, Christmas is by far my favorite holiday, and decorating brings me great joy, however I know that it is easier to do on a large scale when systematically organized. By placing all the like/themed items from one room together, I am then able to make my list for decorating very specific. For example: three weeks out: decorate the half bath with reindeer When I pull the reindeer decorations from storage, I will empty the box of the decorations and then remove all the daily half bath items, place them in the empty bin, clean the room well, and then set up all the seasonal decorations. Using this method, I can also prioritize the "important/large decorating" areas and if I am crazy busy, can let the smaller themes go for the year. Another benefit to this systematic way of doing things is that un-decorating can be as simple as room by room as well.
I am planning to include on this list all items from card printing and addressing, to craft making, to cookie baking, gift purchasing and wrapping, meal prep, with deadlines for each. The items that require more effort and time and planning will be scheduled for early fall, Sept or October (family photo for the card, crafts). In this manner, I will be able to see the long term goal; having a festive, decorated house, well stocked with groceries, ready to entertain, but will be able to look at the small details, week by week or day by day to accomplish this goal. Knowing that any small piece left undone, will not cause me stress.
This year, I did not hurry to purchase last minute gift items, no one noticed.
This year, I did not send Christmas cards, no one called to ask me why they did not receive a card from our family.
This year, I did not decorate outside, my neighbors did not call the homeowners association.
This year, I did not don't send cookies to all my neighbors, and they were kind enough to still gift us cookies and candy and send us cards.
In looking back over the past Christmas season, I am incredibly blessed, not stressed and desire to carry this to the future. Too many years I have been miserable, causing hard feelings and stress in my home, because of my lack of preparedness or because of my perception of all the "little" things that had to get done before Christmas morning. I must say this has been a wonderfully liberating revelation. NO ONE noticed anything was amiss! Looking forward to many more non self inflicted stress less holidays!
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Take Time To Breathe
Christmas is my favorite time of the year. Hands down. There is something magical about the lights, the decorations, the yards of colored ribbon and wrapping paper, the giving.
This morning, the eve of Christmas, when I woke up, I was completely overwhelmed, not with a list of " to do's" but with peace. Those of you that know me, may wonder how a mom of so many can not have a list a mile long of to do's and don't forgets the day before Christmas. Simply put, if it is not done now, it will not get done! I refuse to rush through this day, in a effort to accomplish a list of things that no one but me will notice going un-done, knowing that in doing so, striving for perfection in my mind, I would sabotage my all time favorite thing about Christmas, Candlelight service tonight.
"What?," you may ask, "is so special about tonight's candle light service?" Honestly, part of it is tradition. Growing up we always made the trek to church on Christmas Eve. Special clothing, and shoes, heading out in the dark, holding a candle with a real flame... I remember far more Christmas Eve's attending than not over the years. When my kids were younger we went, and most eve's did not get through the entire service without a crying baby, a meltdown, snoring children, vomiting children or a burnt finger because of dripping wax, but tradition, over the years has morphed for me to a time of reflection and respite from the busyness of the season.
As I herd the family into the church, I feel a great sense of pride in the fact that these, straggling, sometimes hostile beings call me; "mom". That they look to me for guidance and direction, for love and for grace. No matter their ages or stages in life, as I look at each of them, perfectly trimmed out in their Christmas best, sitting in a LONG row, I grow warm inside, feeling that this moment in time, they are perfection in the dim candle light, angelic looking, sweet, tender beings that are being molded and formed by the Prince and I into men and women that love the Lord and one another. (We do not always succeed, but we do strive to lead them in this way.) Despite the fact that I will have to say at least three times, "back to the back, crack to the crack, seat to the seat", to get those teen age boys into proper seated posture, I know that in my heart I am blessed.
I love the words of the carols that will be sung. Even though Sleepy has been singing all these years "Haste, Haste to bring Him lard," instead of "Haste, Haste to bring Him laud", which we now share a giggle over, I will be transported over 2000 years to the glorious time of Christ's birth. Considering the star that guided them, is the same sky that I look at every day, mesmerizes me. Considering my Savior's lowly start, born in a manger, I count my blessings. I praise the Lord for his provisions, just as the babe was provided for, so are my family and our household, those that I love. The voices of the choir and the congregation will blend in harmony which will give me pause to consider if this is what the heavenly hosts sound like...
The words of the pastor will encourage, will challenge and will recharge me. If my focus is out of line tonight, then this will be the time to refocus my perspective and focus on Christ. The reason that I celebrate this season, this holiday.
The flickering lights of the candles, while alone would generate little light, as an entire congregation, lights the church with a soft glow. Reminding me that alone, my light does shines, but when combined with the light of my family, friends and other believers, there is the ability to impact an entire community with the light and truth of God's word.
The actions of the corporate structure of the church will bless others less fortunate than my family, as we always conclude the Christmas Eve service with a benevolence offering. Serving to remind me that once again, my gift may be small, but combined can be the difference to a person or family in need.
By this point in the service, the dwarfs will be getting antsy. I will be sending the "hairy" eye to more than a few, indicating that they need to hold it together for another few moments. We will then conclude with a couple annual photos by the church's large decorated Christmas tree before heading home for the evening's festivities. But in our going, I will be prepared for what tomorrow will bring. Great joy, anticipations recognized, joy that comes from within, not based on my circumstances, but laced in the truth of God's word and the promises that He has made to each of us in his Word.
Isaiah 9:6-7
For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
7 Of the increase of His government and peace
There will be no end,
Upon the throne of David and over His kingdom,
To order it and establish it with judgment and justice
From that time forward, even forever.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this.
A very warm and heartfelt greeting to you and yours on this the eve of Christmas. Our family of many, wishes you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 12, 2013
It is not a problem.
There have been years that we were gifted trees, and there have been years that we have only decorated with live trees, and some years where we only decorated with artificial trees. There were some years that we never put up a single tree, however somewhere over the last 24 Christmas's I have accidentally acquired a bundle of trees.
Now you wonder how does one accidentally acquire so many trees? I can't say that I really have an answer to that. Not all of the trees are large, as a matter of fact there is a good portion of the them that are tall skinny pencil trees and another portion of them that are under two feet in height. However the end result is the same, the halls are all decked and there are,when I count them all up, 16 Christmas trees decorating my house.
Here is the run down of the trees:
2 tall thin lighted trees flanking my Christmas carolers with
2 one foot shrub like trees by their feet,
2 gold lighted trees standing at attention at the charging/docking station in the kitchen,
2 small trees on the table as center pieces, (mind you it is a 12 foot table)
1 three foot gingerbread/cookie cutter themed tree in the kitchen window,
1 music themed tree in the music room,
1 live family room tree, with all the sentimental/family ornaments,
1 silver tree in the middle female dwarfs room,
1 hunting themed tree in the male dwarfs room,
1 Steeler's themed tree in another male dwarf,
1 tall skinny tree in another female dwarfs room,
1 small tree in a pot, in the master bedroom.
Double check my math, because any friend of mine knows that math is not my strong suit, but I get 16. Counting from upstairs to down or down to up the number I arrive at is 16.
While most people would say that 16 trees is indicative of some sort of ailment or illness. I would like to go on the record and say simply, I love trees! It is not a problem. I actually love Christmas and decorating for it. I have many Nativity scenes, tons of angels, several antique Santa pieces, a pile of gingerbread items and a host of reindeer, rolls of ribbon, piles of wreaths, yards of fabric and tons of twinkling lights!.
My most favorite thing about decorating for Christmas is that I find great joy in it. It is relaxing. Yes, I recognize that many it seems excessive and over the top, and to be honest there have been years when I have done hardly any decorating because of the stage of life that I was in, but the joy that it brings to me is the reason that more years than not, I go all out for the season. I enjoy removing my normal household decorations and boxing them up to replace them with the themed items for each room. I enjoy unpacking the items that have been collected over the last 24 years, and reliving the memories that go with the decorations and the ornaments. I love sharing the stories with the children, so that some day when I am gone, and they separate all my things seven ways, they can share the stories with their children, my grandchildren.
Do I think that everyone should go all out for Christmas decorating - No. However I think that if it brings you joy, not stress, and helps you focus on the wonderful memories of holidays past, and is part of creating good memories for the current day, then YES, by all means go all out! Decorate until your heart is filled to overflowing!
There are no rules for the holidays. We are the ones that impose these crazy traditions on ourselves and implement to do lists that are unreasonable, as we try to be all things to all people. It is okay to let things drop. This year I am not sending out a family Christmas card. I was becoming crabby and stressed over trying to organize 8 kids, 2 adults, matching outfits (or at least coordinating) and a photographer for that "perfect" holiday shot. I caught myself mid rant about this impossible task, and realized, that indeed this year, with so many of the kids working, playing basketball, and other outside responsibilities, a family photograph this holiday was impossible, or at least not possible without a significant portion of my Christmas joy being sapped, so I scrapped the whole idea. No card.
I know this is common sense, but I think it bears repeating, the problem becomes when this activity or any other, causes you to lose your focus. If you get stressed out because your can't get it all done, or because your children or spouse are in the way, or just the thought of the prospects of doing this project brings a grimace to your face not a smile, then perhaps it is time to re-evaluate the situation.
Really 16 trees, and I don't make this stuff up!
Now you wonder how does one accidentally acquire so many trees? I can't say that I really have an answer to that. Not all of the trees are large, as a matter of fact there is a good portion of the them that are tall skinny pencil trees and another portion of them that are under two feet in height. However the end result is the same, the halls are all decked and there are,when I count them all up, 16 Christmas trees decorating my house.
Here is the run down of the trees:
2 tall thin lighted trees flanking my Christmas carolers with
2 one foot shrub like trees by their feet,
2 gold lighted trees standing at attention at the charging/docking station in the kitchen,
2 small trees on the table as center pieces, (mind you it is a 12 foot table)
1 three foot gingerbread/cookie cutter themed tree in the kitchen window,
1 music themed tree in the music room,
1 live family room tree, with all the sentimental/family ornaments,
1 silver tree in the middle female dwarfs room,
1 hunting themed tree in the male dwarfs room,
1 Steeler's themed tree in another male dwarf,
1 tall skinny tree in another female dwarfs room,
1 small tree in a pot, in the master bedroom.
Double check my math, because any friend of mine knows that math is not my strong suit, but I get 16. Counting from upstairs to down or down to up the number I arrive at is 16.
While most people would say that 16 trees is indicative of some sort of ailment or illness. I would like to go on the record and say simply, I love trees! It is not a problem. I actually love Christmas and decorating for it. I have many Nativity scenes, tons of angels, several antique Santa pieces, a pile of gingerbread items and a host of reindeer, rolls of ribbon, piles of wreaths, yards of fabric and tons of twinkling lights!.
My most favorite thing about decorating for Christmas is that I find great joy in it. It is relaxing. Yes, I recognize that many it seems excessive and over the top, and to be honest there have been years when I have done hardly any decorating because of the stage of life that I was in, but the joy that it brings to me is the reason that more years than not, I go all out for the season. I enjoy removing my normal household decorations and boxing them up to replace them with the themed items for each room. I enjoy unpacking the items that have been collected over the last 24 years, and reliving the memories that go with the decorations and the ornaments. I love sharing the stories with the children, so that some day when I am gone, and they separate all my things seven ways, they can share the stories with their children, my grandchildren.
Do I think that everyone should go all out for Christmas decorating - No. However I think that if it brings you joy, not stress, and helps you focus on the wonderful memories of holidays past, and is part of creating good memories for the current day, then YES, by all means go all out! Decorate until your heart is filled to overflowing!
There are no rules for the holidays. We are the ones that impose these crazy traditions on ourselves and implement to do lists that are unreasonable, as we try to be all things to all people. It is okay to let things drop. This year I am not sending out a family Christmas card. I was becoming crabby and stressed over trying to organize 8 kids, 2 adults, matching outfits (or at least coordinating) and a photographer for that "perfect" holiday shot. I caught myself mid rant about this impossible task, and realized, that indeed this year, with so many of the kids working, playing basketball, and other outside responsibilities, a family photograph this holiday was impossible, or at least not possible without a significant portion of my Christmas joy being sapped, so I scrapped the whole idea. No card.
I know this is common sense, but I think it bears repeating, the problem becomes when this activity or any other, causes you to lose your focus. If you get stressed out because your can't get it all done, or because your children or spouse are in the way, or just the thought of the prospects of doing this project brings a grimace to your face not a smile, then perhaps it is time to re-evaluate the situation.
Really 16 trees, and I don't make this stuff up!
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