Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The case of the toilet paper hidden in the drawer!

Oh boy this one is a great one!  I will warn you in advance this story is a bit graphic - those with weak stomachs should probably not  continue on...

About three Saturday mornings ago, in a good mood, I stroll past Grumpy's room. As I look inside, I think, it is a bit messy, but he has been trying to keep it neat, so I will help out and while he is eatting breakfast, Iwill straighten up some stray items. 

I pick up some books and place them on the shelf, place his deodorant on the shelf, and then grab a handful of misc little items that would go well in his junk drawer.  I pull open the drawer, and find a rolled up pile of tissue paper.  Okay, this is where the weak of heart need to consider continuing on...
I pull out the tissue - to realize that it is toilet paper, covered in .... yes you guessed it, poop...URG!

I drop the paper as if it was on fire! My first response is, aside from GROSS, is are you kidding me? 
What is this?  I take a deep breath, call my husband, and tell him of my find.  He says, relax, I am sure there is a good explanation for it. Right, I agree, a good explanation. 

SO I calmly walk downstairs and tell Grumpy that he should come upstairs when he is finished with his breakfast. I go back to his room and wait for him. 
He arrives and spies the wad of offensive tissue - I say "Please can you tell me what this is and WHY it is here in your junk drawer."  The truth please.  Speak the truth. 

"Well you know the other day, he says, when I had diarrhea? Well I went to the bathroom and wiped and later when I got my PJ's on, I realized this was stuck in between my butt cheeks, so I took it out, but Dad said I couldn't leave my room, that I had to go to bed, so I put it in my drawer."  To that I responded, this is the time that you chose to be obedient?  Really? 

His father's response "Put that boy on a road march. If he can walk around for the greater part of the day with that wad of tissue between his cheeks and not realize it, he needs to be on a diet!"

Really, you can't make this stuff up!

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