Well, I guess that does depend on your perspective... and now as I review the day I am laughing. At the time though I thought that I was close to tears, because you really can't make this stuff up!
As background, I am the mother to 8 children, 3 biological, 4 born in my heart, not under it and one exchange student from Korea. I am a full time mom, full time employee, and a small business owner, married to a full time pastor. I will refer to my children as the seven dwarfs that way they can all remain anonymous! Wink Wink!
In no particular order, except oldest to youngest: Doc, Sneezy, Dopey, Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy and Bashful... and our dwarf friend from Korea. There that should help you all out a lot!!
So this is the tale that has lead me to blogging: and I make no promises to be faithful about this... but I will try !
Today started as any other Saturday. We awakened (far too early in my opinion) to find Happy, and the pit bull already up and milling around the house. I grab my first cup of coffee and make a plan for the day - I have things to return to my girl friend, the same friend who is going to balance my books for my business and Doc needs to go to the bank and friend has a sleepover planned and Bashful has a birthday party to attend.
So I mentally make my check list of things to do for the day... and then figure it is getting far to complicated, so I make a written list. I find I am doing this more and more in my old age! Then head off to the shower!
Did I mention that we are having a breakfast guest at 9? So after the shower I pop three trays of cinnamon rolls in the oven, Happy wants to server her jello - stating that strawberry is a fruit so it makes perfect sense to have jello for breakfast, and I set the tea kettle on the burner for hot water for instant oatmeal. Viola ~ Breakfast!
Ding Dong - door bell rings and we welcome the former foster mother of Bashful and Sneezy. This really is one of the highlights of my day! We love Miss Wendy and consider every opportunity to hang out with her a joy! Our visit concludes around 10:30 and I am preparing for the next phase of operation Saturday.
I head out to the garage through the kitchen and pass by Happy who is looking flush in the cheeks, but in his defense has been outside with Dad and Grumpy shoveling dirt piles...so I think nothing of it... go and let the hubby know of my plans for the bank and clothing drop off at the Sally Ann and the visit to my friend. I re-enter my garage through the first garage bay ( I went out the second to see my handsome hubby) and low and behold what do I step into at the edge of the garage door??? Rhymes with comet - yes you guessed it VOMIT and not a small , a huge amount sprayed from the edge of the garage entrance, to the door of the house - through the screen door there and all over the shoes in the garage and the misc items strewn along the pathway.
Let me just stop this great story to say this is my stance on vomit - I hate dealing with it - there have been times when my dwarfs were smaller and they got sick in bed and I would roll up all the bedding - blankets, sheets, stuffed animals, pillows etc and toss them in the trash. Trash it all buy new the next day!
So I say to the hubby and to Grumpy - "Do either of you know who got sick in the garage?" No they say, was it the dog??? Oh no this is not the dog! So in the house I go --- asking, as anyone seen Happy? Oh yea, he is in the basement playing video games. Happy, I call, please come here to see Momma !
Up the stairs he comes. Now it may or may not be important to say at this point that Happy is diagnosed MR. Then again it may have no bearance on the story...who will ever know.
I say to Happy, did you vomit? He looks at me and says , NO. I look at him and think, hum he is not flushed any longer, and he is playing video games so maybe it wasn't him... That still leave 5 other Dwarfs and a friend to follow up with...that was until I look down at Happy and see that his pants and socks have vomit all over them... Now the gig is up, or at least you would think!
Happy, I ask again did you vomit in the garage? NO he says. So I say again to the dwarf, I love you and I am not upset if you got sick, but what I am going to be upset about is if you lie to me. Well I know this may come as a shock to you - but even covered in his own vomit he still denies that he is the one that blew chunks in my garage. I drag him out to the garage - show him the mess and he still refuses to fess up. Even though now we see his hat and coat and gloves are covered in it. Finally, his Dad comes around the corner asks him the same thing that I have been asking and now Happy turns silent. He refuses to answer at all. I place my size 12 foot against his bottom and tell him to talk to his Dad...which he refuses to do. Dad sends him to the shower, Dad goes back to moving dirt with Grumpy, and I get to clean up the mess.
I am sure you can imagine how hard it would be to tear down the garage and throw it away, so the choice that I had in dealing with this mess, no matter how badly I would like a new garage, was to clean it and all the affected areas as well. Oh my....Do you know how hard it is to get chunks out of the screen door???
Well while I am diligently working outdoors - indoors all is breaking loose. Our pit bull puppy stole my watch off the counter and Doc tried to rescue it from her mouth only to bend over quickly from her sitting position on the couch and crack her face into the arm of the couch. Causing her glasses to cut into her eyebrow, causing it to bleed, and be considered for stitches. Now I have hands that have been cleaning vomit trying to look at Doc, to assess the damage, while she looks faint ( and did I mention that I can't deal with blood any better than vomit)... and I scramble to send Bashful to find his dad so he can determine if the cut is E R worthy or not....while Doc says, I hate that dog and do you think I broke my face??? That would be cool to post on my Facebook - that I broke my face...
Needless to say that all this caused a 45 minute delay in the day. Not that the delay was a bad thing, because who knows but God what I was kept from by dealing with the issues that caused the delay... and in the delay I will rejoice and be glad... however Doc and I were talking when we finally got on the road to the bank, that we really need to be blogging this stuff, because you cant make these stories up!!
I just love you, Michelle!ReplyDelete
Hmmm... sounds like you definitely were not bored today!ReplyDelete
Your making my days seem pretty easy Friend-thanks for the lift and the laughs-keep the stories coming!ReplyDelete