So many of you know that Grumpy did not just get the dwarf name assigned to him because it was the only name left over. To say that he spends a significant part of his day being grumpy is not an understatement. Based on several issues that seem at this age and space in time, to be beyond his abilities to over come, he struggles with low self esteem, the inability to make good choices, a fear of others and what they think of him, as well as a huge pile of pride that prohibits him from ever, ever, ever being humble and in a position to accept or desire correction or instruction.
Most of you with teenage boys can relate to this. Add a little bit of body odor, a flair up of acne and I have just described half to three fourths of the males in the 14 - 17 year (and beyond) age group.
To say the story of this blog post was a challenge with Grumpy would be accurate, and while I can hold it together for most of the day, as with most of us parents, you get to a place where we are mentally and physically exhausted and to coin a phrase my mother used to use, "fed up to here". So the day of the blow up described below, was the climax of three consecutive days of rolling, boiling, stewing issues, where this momma finally blew.
From his direct disobedience, refusing to work on a task we were all participating in, to his silly antics, that to an outsider would make him seem more like an 8 year old than a 15 year old, to his mouthy disrespect, to his skewed and inaccurate remembrances of conversations, after a 58 minute shower I was starting to loose my cool.
The week played out like a bad sitcom, or at least scene after scene of me thinking, " there has to be a camera here somewhere and he is a paid actor, because no one in their right mind, could continue this way for any length of time behaving so poorly unless it was a choice."
The highlight reel.... telling me, insisting really, that I told him humidity would cause a sunburn. Spraying tanning oil on himself, in the house, with not one, but three fans blowing the oil on to the leather couch, arguing that no one told him we were leaving, as all his other siblings are sitting in the van for 15 minutes waiting for him, his recounting numerous times throughout the week that he does NOT need to be reminded to finish a task before starting a new one; when there are piles of yard debris left in the grass that he did not clean up, his papers from writing letters blowing around on the patio, cereal containers and milk still on the kitchen table at 11 am, his bike left out in the rain, his clothing and socks leaving a trail to show a where he has been in a 24 hour period throughout my 2600 sq ft home and my outdoor living spaces, and my personal favorite that leads me to blow, that according to him, he was only in the shower/bathroom for 9 minutes "Grumpy time", but 58 minutes real time.
Rewinding to the fact it is Wednesday, and a church night... By three that afternoon all 3 boys had their hair cut, so upon arriving home at 4:03, Grumpy heads up the stairs to shower so he is not hairy for church. In that time, I send some emails, switch over the laundry, make dinner, call him twice for dinner, serve dinner, sit with the other dwarfs, share conversation around the dinner table with the four other dwarfs, put away dinner and am cleaning up dishes from dinner, when alas he finally wanders down the stairs. Still holding my cool, as I say to Grumpy, " Here is your dinner, I fixed you a plate because you did not come when called for dinner." His response, "I did not hear you". Fine, I said," I can see how that can happen when the shower is on, the door is locked, and the radio is blaring. " You need to eat your dinner so we can leave for church." Still in my opinion, holding it together, refusing to get into a battle of the wits with someone that suffers from a processing disorder. Until that is, he starts to complain because his taco is too full and he can't wrap the ingredients in the "baby sized taco shell".
To say that my next words were edifying would be a lie. To say that my tone was more kind than sarcastic, would also be a lie. To say my blood was boiling over the fact that no amount of reasoning or discussion could make him see his part in why he was eating pr-emade taco's, would be accurate. My greatest source of frustration with this dwarf (and he is not alone, there are others that vex me so), is that they never, ever stop, when faced with a correction or instruction and they are clearly at fault, to just say, "oh, darn mom, I lost track of time, or gee mom, I'm sorry." Or in this particular instance, "thanks mom for saving me dinner." (I know that is similar is seeking a miracle, but a mom can dream right?) In this particular instance 20 minutes of loudly discussing brought no resolution. I thought that my rational and calm (not) pointing out of the facts would assist him in seeing his fault in this. My points, as they were made, had no seemingly immediate impact like I had hoped, and in the end we both walked away frustrated, exhausted and irritated. In times like these, I always tend to walk away feeling like Charlie Brown's teacher .... my voice and all conversations with said dwarf, are just non intelligible words being heard, making no impact.
To church we go. Two hours later, we are on the home journey (which really takes all of three minutes now if you don't get stuck at the red light) and Grumpy announces he wants to talk to me. I wish that I could say to you that I graciously agreed to talk with him. That my initial reaction was to want to sit with him one on one. It was not. However, what happens next, is why as parents we keep on repeating ourselves, why we keep on reinforcing the messages of social skills, work ethic, curbing attitudes, heeding instructions, playing nicely with others etc, etc, etc.
Grumpy, went soft on me. He started to tear up. He shared from his heart. He desires to change. He wants to comply, he is starting to understand that he alone can not make the changes. He is able to articulate that he is taking his past out on me. I am hopeful again. Will this be the last of these types of days, with certainty I can say no. It has been almost a month since these incidents occurred that I am writing about, and just yesterday alone I can recount 4 issues that Grumpy and I had to work through painfully. I can say that the path ahead is long and the journey will be difficult, but the moments of growth and tenderness in Grumpy are what I need to hold on to, in an effort to continue on in this sometimes monumental and exhausting path of raising special needs kids. God knows when we need the encouragement as the parents, just as he knows when these broken cracked kids need encouragement.
When I think about my life and my decisions, my arrogance and pride, while on the outside may look better when I am melting down, what is on the inside is really what counts. It is what is in our hearts that is what displeases God. My special needs kids, do not have the ability to harbor things, or to hold it together like others can. The training process for these kids is rigorous. The fruits of our labors are often times so small that if we blink, we will miss them. However knowing the unconditional way that God loves me, should give me the strength and the power, in His name, to keep ministering to my kids. To keep instructing, to keep on being faithful in the small stuff, because my God has not walked away from me in my moments of stupidity, confusion or defiance.
One of my life verses reads like this, and I keep it on my desk at all times:
"Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it's prefect work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything." James 1: 2-4
You really Can't Make this stuff up!
Friday, August 8, 2014
Thursday, July 3, 2014
How did I get here?
This morning as I start my day after 7 am, with not a soul awake in the house, I wonder, " How did I get here?" As I look around my home, filled with great potential, I wonder, "How did I get here?" I sit on the lanai looking at the fish jumping in the lake and the gator swimming about, and I wonder, "How did I get here?"
Before I go any further, please understand, this is just a brief window in time, where the peace out weighs the chaos in our house. I am not trying to put forth an idealistic image that life is all sunshine and roses...and while there are moments of that if you look for them in anyone's life, the broader question of "How did I get here?" is a reflection of the journey that took us from all we knew and were comfortable with to this place in time.
Life is a journey. Sometimes we see the curves in the road, we can anticipate the speed bumps or road blocks, even the times on the journey when we can coast, but today I was hit with the new reality of my life, here in Florida.
The Prince and I were born and raised in PA. Eight years ago, we purchased a home in a great neighborhood, with wonderful neighbors that turned into friends, we began to pour our efforts into making that home our forever home. With no consideration, not a thought, that we would not grow old and gray in that home, not only raising our children there, but making it a haven for our children's future spouses, for our future grandchildren. The renovations that we did increased not only the value of our home financially, but also increased the potential legacy that we would be leaving our children. Memories of fires in the back yard, a tire swing, play house, a basketball pad, friends stopping over, friends and family in and out of the house whenever ... and all of a sudden, we are starting over. Not just in a new home, or in a new city, but a new state, a new climate, a new everything.
This bend in the road, caught me off guard. We had a plan the Prince and I. So when the offer to submit a resume came to the Prince, we sort of laughed about it. Ignored it, and kept on moving forward with our plan. The request came again, and even though we indicated we were really not so interested, we did scurry to put together an updated resume, and submit it. Assuming that would be the end of the road. Who hires a pastor for a non ministry position? Never did we anticipate the calls, the interviews, or the repeated offers, for different positions, until the Prince and I could no longer dismiss this opportunity.
I will say that trusting the Lord throughout this process was easy...when the offers and positions were clearly not one's that would benefit our family, it was very easy to trust! In all my year's of being a believer, I thought, I finally have a handle on this trust thing. Then in one phone call, that all changed as the position became a viable and an overwhelmingly great opportunity for our family. Then I faltered. Then I had a few minutes of anxiety. Not over the details of the move per say, ( I did seriously have moments of great doubt about the potential of selling our house with 7 dwarfs and two dogs occupying the three floors of space, and the "how to" show a home that is that busy on a whim to a potential buyer), but more over the concerns were about the logistics of uprooting children that were well adjusted, and loosing our network of family and friends and what life would look like as we all started over.
To say God is gracious in providing me with tons of real life examples to help my dwarfs with their adjustments would be an understatement. I think that clearest example in regards to their questions about the move was to take them all back to their own journey in life and share with them that God, who loves them and cares for them more than the Prince and I, has been preparing us all for this move and the next season in our lives. As you know many of the dwarfs are adopted. In this they have traveled from state to state inside their biological and foster homes until they came to reside with us, their forever family. Even upon arrival to our home, some of them changed schools multiple times and one spent two years in a treatment facility outside our home. Our biological dwarfs, (of which this is one of the only times you will see me make a distinction of any kind) have also had preparation in this thing called change and transition, while not the same, what they needed to be able to see, looking back was that God was good in their situations of transition as well. Sleepy has changed schools multiple times and in all those transitions with grace. Dopey has also had a recent school change which he could look back and see the smoothness of that journey. In regards to the Prince and I, while we have not made many transitions in life, we have not had to because of our personalities and the gift that we have to "never meet a stranger". So the "what if's" of their questions have been answered, by showing clearly that each member of our home, has had a specific number of transitions to make, in preparation for this move!
To show His goodness in this transition even more clearly, to ourselves, and our family and our friends, we sold our house, for full price, through a neighbor and a Facebook message, with just one informal showing. (There were several projects under way in the house at the time, so the buyer had to really have a vision!) We were blessed to have a connection that provided housing for the Prince while he came ahead of us by three months to start working and to search for our perfect home. The house that He provided for us, came with a realtor that used to be a kitchen cabinet maker, so when we were gifted a new kitchen from an old house that was going to be demolished, our realtor went above and beyond to provide his former skills to our family, to custom fit the new/old pieces into our space perfectly!
Many many small things happened along the way as well. A dryer swap, friends to help with packing, a month of meals to ease the transition of the Prince being away, and myself still having to work full time, church members that "adopted" the dwarfs to take them to and from work, and activities, pizza for dinner that just arrived at the door, rent swap for a bedroom suite, cases of non perishables that arrived at the moving truck ramp in time to load for the final road trip, many hands that made light work of both of the loading days and the last loading and cleaning day, a friend to make the trip with us, that did the bulk of the driving, safety on the road in the midst of a blown tire on the car hauler and an escape dog on the interstate, friends on this end that assisted with unloading and unpacking. I am sure that in the midst of the busyness of life, I have missed some of the blessings along the way, but I think you can get the gist of the grace that brought us to where we are today.
So as I pondered this morning, "How did I get here?" I realized that I am here because this is exactly where God wants my family to be. That once again we are smack dab in the center of His will for our lives. In the midst of this thing called life, I feel that God has blessed us in ways that He did not need too, but because he did and he continues to do so, it just adds to our "God Story", our legacy that we continue to blaze for our children, and generations that come after them.
To say that any of this is easy or is going to be easy, (because right now it is still like an extended vacation) would be wishful thinking I believe! We are blessed because the Lord knew what we needed, even when we did not know. He is not surprised by this curve in the road, He orchestrated it all for His glory. From the beginning of this new adventure in our lives we determined to give Him to the glory and the praise, even in the midst of the trials (and there have been those as well) so that our focus remains on Him! I am this morning, grateful for His care and provision for our family, from those large moments, to the small still moments like this morning. I know that at every fork in the road, I had a choice as to how to proceed, it could have been with kicking and screaming, or with acceptance and trust that the Lord is in control of all this and more. I am so grateful for a Godly heritage that was lived out in my childhood, modeled by my parents, which has made it easier to continue to grow and live out the calling in my life without such meltdowns and temper tantrums, and I pray that as the Prince and I continue to live, fully trusting the sovereignty of God, that we are laying the same foundation for our children and future generations.
Too many great things have happened in this transition for it to be coincidences. Grace abounds when you seek Him and when you trust Him.
You really can't make this stuff up!
Before I go any further, please understand, this is just a brief window in time, where the peace out weighs the chaos in our house. I am not trying to put forth an idealistic image that life is all sunshine and roses...and while there are moments of that if you look for them in anyone's life, the broader question of "How did I get here?" is a reflection of the journey that took us from all we knew and were comfortable with to this place in time.
Life is a journey. Sometimes we see the curves in the road, we can anticipate the speed bumps or road blocks, even the times on the journey when we can coast, but today I was hit with the new reality of my life, here in Florida.
The Prince and I were born and raised in PA. Eight years ago, we purchased a home in a great neighborhood, with wonderful neighbors that turned into friends, we began to pour our efforts into making that home our forever home. With no consideration, not a thought, that we would not grow old and gray in that home, not only raising our children there, but making it a haven for our children's future spouses, for our future grandchildren. The renovations that we did increased not only the value of our home financially, but also increased the potential legacy that we would be leaving our children. Memories of fires in the back yard, a tire swing, play house, a basketball pad, friends stopping over, friends and family in and out of the house whenever ... and all of a sudden, we are starting over. Not just in a new home, or in a new city, but a new state, a new climate, a new everything.
This bend in the road, caught me off guard. We had a plan the Prince and I. So when the offer to submit a resume came to the Prince, we sort of laughed about it. Ignored it, and kept on moving forward with our plan. The request came again, and even though we indicated we were really not so interested, we did scurry to put together an updated resume, and submit it. Assuming that would be the end of the road. Who hires a pastor for a non ministry position? Never did we anticipate the calls, the interviews, or the repeated offers, for different positions, until the Prince and I could no longer dismiss this opportunity.
I will say that trusting the Lord throughout this process was easy...when the offers and positions were clearly not one's that would benefit our family, it was very easy to trust! In all my year's of being a believer, I thought, I finally have a handle on this trust thing. Then in one phone call, that all changed as the position became a viable and an overwhelmingly great opportunity for our family. Then I faltered. Then I had a few minutes of anxiety. Not over the details of the move per say, ( I did seriously have moments of great doubt about the potential of selling our house with 7 dwarfs and two dogs occupying the three floors of space, and the "how to" show a home that is that busy on a whim to a potential buyer), but more over the concerns were about the logistics of uprooting children that were well adjusted, and loosing our network of family and friends and what life would look like as we all started over.
To say God is gracious in providing me with tons of real life examples to help my dwarfs with their adjustments would be an understatement. I think that clearest example in regards to their questions about the move was to take them all back to their own journey in life and share with them that God, who loves them and cares for them more than the Prince and I, has been preparing us all for this move and the next season in our lives. As you know many of the dwarfs are adopted. In this they have traveled from state to state inside their biological and foster homes until they came to reside with us, their forever family. Even upon arrival to our home, some of them changed schools multiple times and one spent two years in a treatment facility outside our home. Our biological dwarfs, (of which this is one of the only times you will see me make a distinction of any kind) have also had preparation in this thing called change and transition, while not the same, what they needed to be able to see, looking back was that God was good in their situations of transition as well. Sleepy has changed schools multiple times and in all those transitions with grace. Dopey has also had a recent school change which he could look back and see the smoothness of that journey. In regards to the Prince and I, while we have not made many transitions in life, we have not had to because of our personalities and the gift that we have to "never meet a stranger". So the "what if's" of their questions have been answered, by showing clearly that each member of our home, has had a specific number of transitions to make, in preparation for this move!
To show His goodness in this transition even more clearly, to ourselves, and our family and our friends, we sold our house, for full price, through a neighbor and a Facebook message, with just one informal showing. (There were several projects under way in the house at the time, so the buyer had to really have a vision!) We were blessed to have a connection that provided housing for the Prince while he came ahead of us by three months to start working and to search for our perfect home. The house that He provided for us, came with a realtor that used to be a kitchen cabinet maker, so when we were gifted a new kitchen from an old house that was going to be demolished, our realtor went above and beyond to provide his former skills to our family, to custom fit the new/old pieces into our space perfectly!
Many many small things happened along the way as well. A dryer swap, friends to help with packing, a month of meals to ease the transition of the Prince being away, and myself still having to work full time, church members that "adopted" the dwarfs to take them to and from work, and activities, pizza for dinner that just arrived at the door, rent swap for a bedroom suite, cases of non perishables that arrived at the moving truck ramp in time to load for the final road trip, many hands that made light work of both of the loading days and the last loading and cleaning day, a friend to make the trip with us, that did the bulk of the driving, safety on the road in the midst of a blown tire on the car hauler and an escape dog on the interstate, friends on this end that assisted with unloading and unpacking. I am sure that in the midst of the busyness of life, I have missed some of the blessings along the way, but I think you can get the gist of the grace that brought us to where we are today.
So as I pondered this morning, "How did I get here?" I realized that I am here because this is exactly where God wants my family to be. That once again we are smack dab in the center of His will for our lives. In the midst of this thing called life, I feel that God has blessed us in ways that He did not need too, but because he did and he continues to do so, it just adds to our "God Story", our legacy that we continue to blaze for our children, and generations that come after them.
To say that any of this is easy or is going to be easy, (because right now it is still like an extended vacation) would be wishful thinking I believe! We are blessed because the Lord knew what we needed, even when we did not know. He is not surprised by this curve in the road, He orchestrated it all for His glory. From the beginning of this new adventure in our lives we determined to give Him to the glory and the praise, even in the midst of the trials (and there have been those as well) so that our focus remains on Him! I am this morning, grateful for His care and provision for our family, from those large moments, to the small still moments like this morning. I know that at every fork in the road, I had a choice as to how to proceed, it could have been with kicking and screaming, or with acceptance and trust that the Lord is in control of all this and more. I am so grateful for a Godly heritage that was lived out in my childhood, modeled by my parents, which has made it easier to continue to grow and live out the calling in my life without such meltdowns and temper tantrums, and I pray that as the Prince and I continue to live, fully trusting the sovereignty of God, that we are laying the same foundation for our children and future generations.
Too many great things have happened in this transition for it to be coincidences. Grace abounds when you seek Him and when you trust Him.
You really can't make this stuff up!
Friday, June 27, 2014
The Life of a Stay at Home Mom with NO Kids
BIG dreams were what I had for this week of no kids.
You may ask how did a mom with 7 kids, have a week free of any kids for one whole week... well let me clarify that. It was not a whole week... technically it was 96 hours not 168 hours and I saw them every morning at 7 for med distribution, and Tuesday night one slept at home because of injury...
Here is my formula for how I scored a large chunk of my week to myself. First, you leave one behind in your home state and travel to a new state 1100 miles away. Secondly, you send another child to sleep away camp for 8 consecutive weeks to serve the Lord in upstate New York. (her choice not mine). Thirdly, you praise the Lord for a new church home, that has an opportunity for your kids to serve the Lord in a mission minded week long camp, and begin making new relationships, in a safe environment,with plenty of supervision, and three meals a day! Score!
Back to the opening statement of this post, I had BIG dreams for this week of no kids. I envisioned sitting alone by the pool, (because I have one of those now) reading, working on my tan, cat napping, shopping (so I could get the lay of the land here of course) and maybe treating myself to a manicure or pedicure, or both.
But the reality is that I did none of those things. I did however work on making our new house a home for our children that were away for the week.
I spent two days touching up paint in their rooms, hanging their photos and artwork and making sure that their rooms were organized the way that they had been in PA. I took great pains to reorganize their dressers and leave notes for them about where things are currently if I moved them. (The notes were really for me because when they come asking at noon today, I will not be able to remember where I shifted things. ) I left them "love notes" on their pillows of their newly changed and re-made beds expressing how proud I was of each of them to stepping out of their comfort zone this week and working for the Lord and about how excited the Prince and I are to hear about all the activities from the week.
I organized and cleaned their bathroom. Which included more painting touch up. ( I have to say Dopey made it easy, his painting skills are improving!) I spent a great chunk of time in the "media" room or kids den on their floor as well, securing the space as the coolest in the house. A room just for them to relax, watch movies, play video games, play a board game, do a puzzle. Hung more artwork, and black out curtains (can't have glare on that big television, #teenageproblems)The house had been empty for a year and when Bryan moved in his focus was demolition, not cleaning so for Bashful, I cleaned away all remnants of bugs, cobwebs, and the like, that tends to send his freak meter off.
As I moved through the house, I constantly kept that washer and dryer spinning, as well as worked on the other areas of the house. I painted the entrance way of the house, and because I had a lot of bleed through under the tape for some reason, I repainted the white areas as well ... painting always makes me want to curse. I continued to remove cobwebs and bugs, kept up with the dog hair and the dishes, stuff that all of you moms out there do! (Dad's too). I continued to organize and reorganize our new spaces, trying to find the best home for our treasures.
In the midst of all this busy work, I prayed. I prayed for friends that lost a loved one recently, I prayed for my kids and their struggles and their adjustment to camp and making new friends, I prayed for a friend that is struggling with health concerns, for another that is struggling with kid issues, I prayed for my family that I miss, and that they would all be so busy at home that they would not be missing me as much as I was missing them, I prayed over the rooms of this house, that they would become rooms of a home, filled with love and life, and that even here in Florida, it would be a resting stop for the weary, a filling station for the hungry, and a haven to those that need peace.
My alone time is coming to an end. As I look back over the week, it is hard to believe that there are still rooms that are in chaos, or at least mild distress. That I did not get to the salon to have my nails done, I did not read that great book, or work on my tan. I am a bit sad that I did not get a nap or 4 in, and that my to do list is some how longer than when the week started. What I am excited about however, is that our house, is more of a home than 96 hours ago. The pieces are all fitting, the spaces are all filling, and the only thing missing is the noise and the chaos of my kids, while we are not 100% there yet... we are in the home stretch, we have turned a corner towards putting down roots, towards securing our position and relationships in this area, and to calling 6114 Cypress Circle our home!
You really can't make this stuff up.
You may ask how did a mom with 7 kids, have a week free of any kids for one whole week... well let me clarify that. It was not a whole week... technically it was 96 hours not 168 hours and I saw them every morning at 7 for med distribution, and Tuesday night one slept at home because of injury...
Here is my formula for how I scored a large chunk of my week to myself. First, you leave one behind in your home state and travel to a new state 1100 miles away. Secondly, you send another child to sleep away camp for 8 consecutive weeks to serve the Lord in upstate New York. (her choice not mine). Thirdly, you praise the Lord for a new church home, that has an opportunity for your kids to serve the Lord in a mission minded week long camp, and begin making new relationships, in a safe environment,with plenty of supervision, and three meals a day! Score!
Back to the opening statement of this post, I had BIG dreams for this week of no kids. I envisioned sitting alone by the pool, (because I have one of those now) reading, working on my tan, cat napping, shopping (so I could get the lay of the land here of course) and maybe treating myself to a manicure or pedicure, or both.
But the reality is that I did none of those things. I did however work on making our new house a home for our children that were away for the week.
I spent two days touching up paint in their rooms, hanging their photos and artwork and making sure that their rooms were organized the way that they had been in PA. I took great pains to reorganize their dressers and leave notes for them about where things are currently if I moved them. (The notes were really for me because when they come asking at noon today, I will not be able to remember where I shifted things. ) I left them "love notes" on their pillows of their newly changed and re-made beds expressing how proud I was of each of them to stepping out of their comfort zone this week and working for the Lord and about how excited the Prince and I are to hear about all the activities from the week.
I organized and cleaned their bathroom. Which included more painting touch up. ( I have to say Dopey made it easy, his painting skills are improving!) I spent a great chunk of time in the "media" room or kids den on their floor as well, securing the space as the coolest in the house. A room just for them to relax, watch movies, play video games, play a board game, do a puzzle. Hung more artwork, and black out curtains (can't have glare on that big television, #teenageproblems)The house had been empty for a year and when Bryan moved in his focus was demolition, not cleaning so for Bashful, I cleaned away all remnants of bugs, cobwebs, and the like, that tends to send his freak meter off.
As I moved through the house, I constantly kept that washer and dryer spinning, as well as worked on the other areas of the house. I painted the entrance way of the house, and because I had a lot of bleed through under the tape for some reason, I repainted the white areas as well ... painting always makes me want to curse. I continued to remove cobwebs and bugs, kept up with the dog hair and the dishes, stuff that all of you moms out there do! (Dad's too). I continued to organize and reorganize our new spaces, trying to find the best home for our treasures.
In the midst of all this busy work, I prayed. I prayed for friends that lost a loved one recently, I prayed for my kids and their struggles and their adjustment to camp and making new friends, I prayed for a friend that is struggling with health concerns, for another that is struggling with kid issues, I prayed for my family that I miss, and that they would all be so busy at home that they would not be missing me as much as I was missing them, I prayed over the rooms of this house, that they would become rooms of a home, filled with love and life, and that even here in Florida, it would be a resting stop for the weary, a filling station for the hungry, and a haven to those that need peace.
My alone time is coming to an end. As I look back over the week, it is hard to believe that there are still rooms that are in chaos, or at least mild distress. That I did not get to the salon to have my nails done, I did not read that great book, or work on my tan. I am a bit sad that I did not get a nap or 4 in, and that my to do list is some how longer than when the week started. What I am excited about however, is that our house, is more of a home than 96 hours ago. The pieces are all fitting, the spaces are all filling, and the only thing missing is the noise and the chaos of my kids, while we are not 100% there yet... we are in the home stretch, we have turned a corner towards putting down roots, towards securing our position and relationships in this area, and to calling 6114 Cypress Circle our home!
You really can't make this stuff up.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Be careful what you wish for!
As a runner, I often think to myself, what a great wide berm there is on this highway, or this road goes on for miles and it is flat and straight. I could run everywhere I wanted to go if I could run on the interstate.
Well that was until we hit exit 9B in South Carolina, my wish came true. Except it was not how I envisioned it... none the less, be careful what you wish for!
It was about 9 hours into our trip and the car hauler my husband was pulling behind the moving truck in front of us, has a low tire. We had stopped and filled it up, at the last fuel stop, but it was depleted of air again, and was starting to smoke. Eventually the tire blew, which is really a post all on it's own, but leads me to the run on the side of the road.
To say that we were an impressive line up on the side of that exit would be an understatement. But in true Lingle form, we attacked the situation with gusto and made a plan. A plan that included 5 children, 3 adults and 2, 80 lbs labs.
To say that it was hot would be an understatement. It is the heat of the day, and the wait time for just the call back on the service repair was estimated at 30 minutes. From there it was over two hours for the service technician to arrive and for the repair to be made. So off the side of the road was a nice shaded area. We all piled out of the vehicles and went down to the shade, where we fed the dogs, watered the dogs, made small talk, snacked etc. Things were good, or at least the best they could be in the situation for 2 hours and 20 minutes perhaps.... Then Bashful started to melt down. Literally, he was sweating and his attitude was also suffering significantly, so in an attempt to smooth things over, I took him back to the van for some alone time and for the diversion of electronics.
As we are settling in, the service repair man comes and starts working on the flat. I get a text about the same time that one of the dogs ran off. I think for sure this must be a joke, they are leashed. But no it is not a joke. Lucy has managed to slip her collar and leash and make a dash for.... well I am not really sure what for but she is dashing. The other dwarfs wrestle Lola, her sister to the van. Shut it up and start the air. I rush to the area where Lucy was last seen, with Grumpy, in hope of seeing Sleepy and Dopey with the dog already in hand.
I am such a dreamer! I send Grumpy with some treats in a metal bowl, shaking it as he runs in the direction of Lucy, calling out "Treats Lucy, Treats..." over and over again. I take the high ground and start running in flip flops, through the grasses and weeds in the kids direction as well ( I am just older and slower. ) We get about a quarter of a mile from our exit, and I look up to see Lucy bounding right at me. She is running with wild abandon, and looks like one of those cartoon dogs, ears flopping, legs pumping, raised high ... I think, I have one chance. She is coming straight at me, I will drop on her when she gets to me and hold her til the kids come with the leash and collar. So Lucy and I are running top speed towards each other, I am calling to her " Come here Lucy girl" . She is still flying in my direction. I stop and prepare for impact.
She sprints in another direction! Grrr did I mention I am not a fan of dogs.... Okay, well I am startled to say the least, I can hear the kids getting closer, but do not know what to do, because now I am the leader in this race and the kids are bringing up the rear. So I bolt (okay that may be a bit strong of a term, but for story telling purposes it works) into the area that Lucy headed, which was filled with jaggers and wild berry bushes. Fact: The dog is faster than any human. She again darts off the path and starts heading right down the side of the interstate towards the rest of the family and the Prince, and the repair man, and traffic flying by at 70 mph. I do not know if any of them are watching for her, so I stop, gather all the air I can into my lungs and start yelling for them to look for her. Fact: The side of the interstate is a noisy, noisy place and your voice doesn't really carry well.
So... she runs towards the Prince, and then darts out to the drivers side of the van, right in traffic range. The Prince manages to call her to the other side of the van, where her sister is already waiting for her. We get her into the van, and she is a shaking mess.
Here come the kids. Sleepy has lost one of her flip flops, and the Prince can't find it. She has cuts all over her feet because she made the interstate run in her bare feet. Dopey is cut on his legs as he plowed through all sorts of jagger bushes and such in the pursuit of his dog Lucy. We hear the tale of Lucy bolting across two on ramps and cars stopping and horns blowing and how one woman almost had her in her car, before Lucy got scared and ran again... I do wish that Lucy could share her version of the story with us... We get the kids and the dog situated and cleaned up about the same time the repair to the trailer is done. After about three hours and a little change, we are on the road again.
One of the dwarfs insightfully proclaimed as we re-entered the highway, " Mom, at least Lucy ran away while the repairs were being made, that way we did not have to waste anymore time sitting on the side of the road waiting."
You really can't make this stuff up!
Well that was until we hit exit 9B in South Carolina, my wish came true. Except it was not how I envisioned it... none the less, be careful what you wish for!
It was about 9 hours into our trip and the car hauler my husband was pulling behind the moving truck in front of us, has a low tire. We had stopped and filled it up, at the last fuel stop, but it was depleted of air again, and was starting to smoke. Eventually the tire blew, which is really a post all on it's own, but leads me to the run on the side of the road.
To say that we were an impressive line up on the side of that exit would be an understatement. But in true Lingle form, we attacked the situation with gusto and made a plan. A plan that included 5 children, 3 adults and 2, 80 lbs labs.
To say that it was hot would be an understatement. It is the heat of the day, and the wait time for just the call back on the service repair was estimated at 30 minutes. From there it was over two hours for the service technician to arrive and for the repair to be made. So off the side of the road was a nice shaded area. We all piled out of the vehicles and went down to the shade, where we fed the dogs, watered the dogs, made small talk, snacked etc. Things were good, or at least the best they could be in the situation for 2 hours and 20 minutes perhaps.... Then Bashful started to melt down. Literally, he was sweating and his attitude was also suffering significantly, so in an attempt to smooth things over, I took him back to the van for some alone time and for the diversion of electronics.
As we are settling in, the service repair man comes and starts working on the flat. I get a text about the same time that one of the dogs ran off. I think for sure this must be a joke, they are leashed. But no it is not a joke. Lucy has managed to slip her collar and leash and make a dash for.... well I am not really sure what for but she is dashing. The other dwarfs wrestle Lola, her sister to the van. Shut it up and start the air. I rush to the area where Lucy was last seen, with Grumpy, in hope of seeing Sleepy and Dopey with the dog already in hand.
I am such a dreamer! I send Grumpy with some treats in a metal bowl, shaking it as he runs in the direction of Lucy, calling out "Treats Lucy, Treats..." over and over again. I take the high ground and start running in flip flops, through the grasses and weeds in the kids direction as well ( I am just older and slower. ) We get about a quarter of a mile from our exit, and I look up to see Lucy bounding right at me. She is running with wild abandon, and looks like one of those cartoon dogs, ears flopping, legs pumping, raised high ... I think, I have one chance. She is coming straight at me, I will drop on her when she gets to me and hold her til the kids come with the leash and collar. So Lucy and I are running top speed towards each other, I am calling to her " Come here Lucy girl" . She is still flying in my direction. I stop and prepare for impact.
She sprints in another direction! Grrr did I mention I am not a fan of dogs.... Okay, well I am startled to say the least, I can hear the kids getting closer, but do not know what to do, because now I am the leader in this race and the kids are bringing up the rear. So I bolt (okay that may be a bit strong of a term, but for story telling purposes it works) into the area that Lucy headed, which was filled with jaggers and wild berry bushes. Fact: The dog is faster than any human. She again darts off the path and starts heading right down the side of the interstate towards the rest of the family and the Prince, and the repair man, and traffic flying by at 70 mph. I do not know if any of them are watching for her, so I stop, gather all the air I can into my lungs and start yelling for them to look for her. Fact: The side of the interstate is a noisy, noisy place and your voice doesn't really carry well.
So... she runs towards the Prince, and then darts out to the drivers side of the van, right in traffic range. The Prince manages to call her to the other side of the van, where her sister is already waiting for her. We get her into the van, and she is a shaking mess.
Here come the kids. Sleepy has lost one of her flip flops, and the Prince can't find it. She has cuts all over her feet because she made the interstate run in her bare feet. Dopey is cut on his legs as he plowed through all sorts of jagger bushes and such in the pursuit of his dog Lucy. We hear the tale of Lucy bolting across two on ramps and cars stopping and horns blowing and how one woman almost had her in her car, before Lucy got scared and ran again... I do wish that Lucy could share her version of the story with us... We get the kids and the dog situated and cleaned up about the same time the repair to the trailer is done. After about three hours and a little change, we are on the road again.
One of the dwarfs insightfully proclaimed as we re-entered the highway, " Mom, at least Lucy ran away while the repairs were being made, that way we did not have to waste anymore time sitting on the side of the road waiting."
You really can't make this stuff up!
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Eavesdropping? Why yes I was!
Is it okay to eavesdrop on your children's conversations? Typically, I would say, NO. However when the conversation is directly in your earshot, and your child is talking rather LOUDLY, then eavesdropping it is....
Yesterday, Grumpy wanted to reach out to a "friend" from home. So with much hesitation, I gave him my cell, took him to a spot in the house that has good cell reception, and told him he had 15 minutes to talk with his friend. I went back to doing what all good mom's do, laundry and cleaning and such.
As I was putting away laundry, I hear that Grumpy is becoming more animated in his conversation with his friend. Words that should never in my humble opinion be used when having any kind of conversation are being thrown around, "Yo, Homie, Nah, Yup" ... Of course Grumpy is exaggerating facts, and is spinning things to make him seem AMAZING... but the one conversation starter that pricked my ears the most was, "Yo Homie, I was being chased by the cops today." Now I ask, what mom in her right mind is going to leave the room at this point?
So I listen to Grumpy continue to tell the story of how he was being chased by the cops today while he was on his bike ride, for not wearing his helmet. At the conclusion of this story, before he has the time to launch into another tale, I go out, and remind him that his time is up.
At the conclusion of the call, I go retrieve my phone from him and sit down and ask him to explain his "being chased by a cop" story to me. At first he seems shocked that I know about the situation. I remind him that if he wants to talk to people without being overheard then he needs to keep his voice down. To which he nods his head in acknowledgement, but if you know anything about this dwarf, quiet is not his M.O..
"Well mom it is like this, he says, I was riding my bike today and when I was out there was a police man in his car chasing me." " Why do you think he was chasing you? " " I know he was!" " Did you do something wrong? " "No, I just wasn't wearing my helmet." " Well Grumpy, you do know that here in Florida you do not have to wear your helmet. " " Mom he was chasing me!" " Let me clarify something son, if he were indeed chasing you, then did you outrun him on your bike as he drove behind you in his car?" "No." " He follow you to our home and rang my door bell to tell me what kind of trouble you were in?" " No." " Did he at anytime during the chase, talk to you, come along side you and address you, did he even smile and wave at you at anytime during this chase?" "No." "Son, do you know that our neighborhood has over 500 homes in it and that the police patrol through here about twice a day or so? " "No." " Son, did it ever occur to you that it just happened, that you and the police officer, were going in the same direction at the same time as you were riding home on your bike and as he was patrolling our neighborhood? " "No." somewhat sheepishly this time.
I explained three things to Grumpy this day. One is that people are always out and about in their cars traveling in and out of the neighborhood, and there is almost always someone that will be driving in their car, going at least for part of the way, the same direction as you are biking. The only reason that he noticed this particular vehicle is because of his hyper sensitivity to all things police related. Secondly, I explained to him, that should this have been an actual "chase" the police officer would have made verbal contact with him, giving him instructions as to what he was supposed to do, and that a "chase" would only ensue, should at the point of being spoken to by the officer, he would choose flee the scene. Thirdly, that friends can see through a tall tale, and if you desire to keep and or make new friends, one should always view the situations/stories that they are discussing/telling in light of reality. If one is unsure, it is always safe to keep one's mouth shut...or just simply state the facts.
"Today while riding my bike, I was a little scared when I noticed that a police officer was following me down the road." But of course, what kind of story would that make?
You really can't make this stuff up!
Yesterday, Grumpy wanted to reach out to a "friend" from home. So with much hesitation, I gave him my cell, took him to a spot in the house that has good cell reception, and told him he had 15 minutes to talk with his friend. I went back to doing what all good mom's do, laundry and cleaning and such.
As I was putting away laundry, I hear that Grumpy is becoming more animated in his conversation with his friend. Words that should never in my humble opinion be used when having any kind of conversation are being thrown around, "Yo, Homie, Nah, Yup" ... Of course Grumpy is exaggerating facts, and is spinning things to make him seem AMAZING... but the one conversation starter that pricked my ears the most was, "Yo Homie, I was being chased by the cops today." Now I ask, what mom in her right mind is going to leave the room at this point?
So I listen to Grumpy continue to tell the story of how he was being chased by the cops today while he was on his bike ride, for not wearing his helmet. At the conclusion of this story, before he has the time to launch into another tale, I go out, and remind him that his time is up.
At the conclusion of the call, I go retrieve my phone from him and sit down and ask him to explain his "being chased by a cop" story to me. At first he seems shocked that I know about the situation. I remind him that if he wants to talk to people without being overheard then he needs to keep his voice down. To which he nods his head in acknowledgement, but if you know anything about this dwarf, quiet is not his M.O..
"Well mom it is like this, he says, I was riding my bike today and when I was out there was a police man in his car chasing me." " Why do you think he was chasing you? " " I know he was!" " Did you do something wrong? " "No, I just wasn't wearing my helmet." " Well Grumpy, you do know that here in Florida you do not have to wear your helmet. " " Mom he was chasing me!" " Let me clarify something son, if he were indeed chasing you, then did you outrun him on your bike as he drove behind you in his car?" "No." " He follow you to our home and rang my door bell to tell me what kind of trouble you were in?" " No." " Did he at anytime during the chase, talk to you, come along side you and address you, did he even smile and wave at you at anytime during this chase?" "No." "Son, do you know that our neighborhood has over 500 homes in it and that the police patrol through here about twice a day or so? " "No." " Son, did it ever occur to you that it just happened, that you and the police officer, were going in the same direction at the same time as you were riding home on your bike and as he was patrolling our neighborhood? " "No." somewhat sheepishly this time.
I explained three things to Grumpy this day. One is that people are always out and about in their cars traveling in and out of the neighborhood, and there is almost always someone that will be driving in their car, going at least for part of the way, the same direction as you are biking. The only reason that he noticed this particular vehicle is because of his hyper sensitivity to all things police related. Secondly, I explained to him, that should this have been an actual "chase" the police officer would have made verbal contact with him, giving him instructions as to what he was supposed to do, and that a "chase" would only ensue, should at the point of being spoken to by the officer, he would choose flee the scene. Thirdly, that friends can see through a tall tale, and if you desire to keep and or make new friends, one should always view the situations/stories that they are discussing/telling in light of reality. If one is unsure, it is always safe to keep one's mouth shut...or just simply state the facts.
"Today while riding my bike, I was a little scared when I noticed that a police officer was following me down the road." But of course, what kind of story would that make?
You really can't make this stuff up!
Thursday, May 8, 2014
I Refuse to Coupon!
I know, really a mom of so many on such a tight budget refusing to coupon!?! You may ask why don't I coupon, how in good conscious I can resist the allure of saving 100's of dollars a week at the groceries by NOT couponing...
For starters, I simply do not have that much time in my day, my week or my month. When I watch shows like Extreme Couponing, I am amazed, I am impressed, and I am also a bit jealous, but the reality is that making those deals happen is their full time job. Hours and hours of preparation go into pulling off these giant grocery feats. They coerce others to assist them, spouses, children, friends and neighbors... I think my family would revolt, I don't care how well stocked my pantry would be or the freezers, the amount of time that it would take to coupon like that would make my kids resentful.
Additionally, finding grocery stores where you can actually benefit from the crazy couponing is another problem. There are many stores that no longer offer double coupons, they have done away with coupons that are actually for items that consumers are currently purchasing, but more as a way to try to entice you to purchase items that are new. Many grocery stores across the nation have also lowered prices in their stores by bringing in a "generic" of store brand of their most popular items. Rarely will there be discounts or coupons for store brand items.
I also find the task of cutting, sorting, and then attempting to use coupons stressful. I have tried many means in which to do so, however, what typically happens is that I get to the end of my shopping trip and find that I have items in my cart that I really do not want, and I can no longer can find that wispy slip of paper, or I have not picked up the correct amount of items to make the coupon valid. Sadly the worst is when I hand over my carefully selected coupons, and there are expired ones in the bunch, because when I made my list three days earlier they were good, but since expired.
How then, you ask, does one stay within a budget, shopping for the masses? Creativity is key. We garden, produce and herbs. We tend, we water, we harvest and we eat...well. We buy our meats (beef and pork) from a farmer that raises them for food, place our order for a pig, or a cow, and fill the freezers to overflowing. We barter for fresh eggs. We purchase in bulk (80 dozen ears of corn for $1 a dozen) husk it, blanch it, cut it from the cobs and freeze it. I am realistic about what it costs to feed my super sized family. I plan accordingly.
One of the best programs that I partake in is the Karn's extra rewards program, where with my bonus card, I get points based on the dollars I spend. Each dollar = a point. I then redeem points for gift cards to their store, for more groceries, or gift cards for gift giving throughout the year. Giant Foods has a gas rewards program, where you earn points to receive a percentage off your gas, when purchased at their pumps. Turkey Hill Minute Markets (where we stop often for a drink, loaf of bread, or a gallon of milk) has a program where you can earn points for a percentage off gas, as well as free drinks and food purchases. Sheetz card holders automatically get 5% off gas, and then have the potential using the card to earn free beverages and food, all of which is automatically tracked with your card number.
I shop at a lot of discount locations as well. Aldi Stores and Amelia Grocery Outlets are great for picking up fresh fruit and vegetables on the day of delivery for a fraction of the cost in the major grocery chains. Wal Mart stores, offer deep discount prices on a WIDE variety of items from housewares to groceries, saving time and money by one stop shopping. Where else can you purchase food for a picnic, decorations and table settings, the grill, the patio furniture, pool treatment chemicals, a bathing suit and a cover up in one place? Some times smart shopping is about combining trips to save time, which translates to less stress, and more free time.
I am also a big fan of food auctions. This is a process that you may not be familiar with, but just as all auctions, you go, register and bid of fresh foods, staples, as well as sometimes frozen foods at a fraction of the cost. These trips often yield in a great ability to STOCK up, on the basic paper products, cleaning supplies etc. (see previous blog posts for details of two food auctions that I have attended) http://www.malingle.com/2011/10/food-auction-oh-yea.html , http://www.malingle.com/2011/02/its-all-about-deal.html
Plan your meals in advance. (for anyone that knows me personally, you know this is my passion) If you have a plan for your meals, either a week in advance or a month, you will spend less money, and you will save time in the long run, by taking out the need to daily stop at the store misc items or meal ideas on the way home from work. Make your list. Stick to it. If possible go to the store alone, so there is little ability for others to "toss" impulse buys into the cart.
I spend approx $5 a day per person on food/ household goods (such as paper products and cleaning supplies) This includes three meals a day (breakfast/coffee/cocoa, lunches packed, snacks and main dinners). Planning works. If you can coupon along the way... great for you, you will save more money than I and I admire you greatly. However if you are like me, creativity and planning ahead helps me feed and grow the masses in my house. Four teen boys, two teen girls, one pre-teen, and three adults, plus friends, always have plenty to choose from when meal time and snack time cause their tummy's to rumble.
For starters, I simply do not have that much time in my day, my week or my month. When I watch shows like Extreme Couponing, I am amazed, I am impressed, and I am also a bit jealous, but the reality is that making those deals happen is their full time job. Hours and hours of preparation go into pulling off these giant grocery feats. They coerce others to assist them, spouses, children, friends and neighbors... I think my family would revolt, I don't care how well stocked my pantry would be or the freezers, the amount of time that it would take to coupon like that would make my kids resentful.
Additionally, finding grocery stores where you can actually benefit from the crazy couponing is another problem. There are many stores that no longer offer double coupons, they have done away with coupons that are actually for items that consumers are currently purchasing, but more as a way to try to entice you to purchase items that are new. Many grocery stores across the nation have also lowered prices in their stores by bringing in a "generic" of store brand of their most popular items. Rarely will there be discounts or coupons for store brand items.
I also find the task of cutting, sorting, and then attempting to use coupons stressful. I have tried many means in which to do so, however, what typically happens is that I get to the end of my shopping trip and find that I have items in my cart that I really do not want, and I can no longer can find that wispy slip of paper, or I have not picked up the correct amount of items to make the coupon valid. Sadly the worst is when I hand over my carefully selected coupons, and there are expired ones in the bunch, because when I made my list three days earlier they were good, but since expired.
How then, you ask, does one stay within a budget, shopping for the masses? Creativity is key. We garden, produce and herbs. We tend, we water, we harvest and we eat...well. We buy our meats (beef and pork) from a farmer that raises them for food, place our order for a pig, or a cow, and fill the freezers to overflowing. We barter for fresh eggs. We purchase in bulk (80 dozen ears of corn for $1 a dozen) husk it, blanch it, cut it from the cobs and freeze it. I am realistic about what it costs to feed my super sized family. I plan accordingly.
One of the best programs that I partake in is the Karn's extra rewards program, where with my bonus card, I get points based on the dollars I spend. Each dollar = a point. I then redeem points for gift cards to their store, for more groceries, or gift cards for gift giving throughout the year. Giant Foods has a gas rewards program, where you earn points to receive a percentage off your gas, when purchased at their pumps. Turkey Hill Minute Markets (where we stop often for a drink, loaf of bread, or a gallon of milk) has a program where you can earn points for a percentage off gas, as well as free drinks and food purchases. Sheetz card holders automatically get 5% off gas, and then have the potential using the card to earn free beverages and food, all of which is automatically tracked with your card number.
I shop at a lot of discount locations as well. Aldi Stores and Amelia Grocery Outlets are great for picking up fresh fruit and vegetables on the day of delivery for a fraction of the cost in the major grocery chains. Wal Mart stores, offer deep discount prices on a WIDE variety of items from housewares to groceries, saving time and money by one stop shopping. Where else can you purchase food for a picnic, decorations and table settings, the grill, the patio furniture, pool treatment chemicals, a bathing suit and a cover up in one place? Some times smart shopping is about combining trips to save time, which translates to less stress, and more free time.
I am also a big fan of food auctions. This is a process that you may not be familiar with, but just as all auctions, you go, register and bid of fresh foods, staples, as well as sometimes frozen foods at a fraction of the cost. These trips often yield in a great ability to STOCK up, on the basic paper products, cleaning supplies etc. (see previous blog posts for details of two food auctions that I have attended) http://www.malingle.com/2011/10/food-auction-oh-yea.html , http://www.malingle.com/2011/02/its-all-about-deal.html
Plan your meals in advance. (for anyone that knows me personally, you know this is my passion) If you have a plan for your meals, either a week in advance or a month, you will spend less money, and you will save time in the long run, by taking out the need to daily stop at the store misc items or meal ideas on the way home from work. Make your list. Stick to it. If possible go to the store alone, so there is little ability for others to "toss" impulse buys into the cart.
I spend approx $5 a day per person on food/ household goods (such as paper products and cleaning supplies) This includes three meals a day (breakfast/coffee/cocoa, lunches packed, snacks and main dinners). Planning works. If you can coupon along the way... great for you, you will save more money than I and I admire you greatly. However if you are like me, creativity and planning ahead helps me feed and grow the masses in my house. Four teen boys, two teen girls, one pre-teen, and three adults, plus friends, always have plenty to choose from when meal time and snack time cause their tummy's to rumble.
Monday, April 7, 2014
The Land of Half Way
Well I knew that it would happen. Despite my best intentions, despite my careful planning and organization. I knew that while the Prince was away, I would lose my cool. However I did not think it would be so soon in the game... I only made it 9 days.
Friday night was the night, and the situation that lead to my meltdown has a bit of a back story. So follow along as I grow the story of life in the kingdom, of the Land of Half Way.
My dwarfs are all wonderful, amazing, thoughtful, kind and generous with their time... when they are with others. But in the kingdom of the Land of Half Way, this is what daily life tends to look like:
A pile of clean towels stacked outside the closed and locked bathroom door, with a wet, yet clean, dwarf on the other side of the door yelling that there are no towels, when they clearly had to hurtle the towels to get into the bathroom.
Dirty dishes coming out of the dishwasher, dried and crusty with food residue, being replaced in their proper, or close to it, storage spots, as such unclean... and dwarfs melting down about how disgusting it is that there are dirty utensils, bowls etc coming out of the cupboards when the go to get a snack or breakfast.
I can't find my _______________(you fill in the blank). Socks, gym uniform, ear buds, sneakers backpack, lunch box... however if each dwarf used the tools available to them to be successful in storing and staging their belongings and not being too lazy to use the shoe rack, the bag hooks, the separate personal laundry baskets, these conversations would be almost non existent in regular day to day conversation.
Taking the trash out of the can in the kitchen and walking it to the garage, not placing it in the out door cans and not replacing the bag with a clean fresh bag in the inside can.
Standing in front of the sink in the bathroom, with a toothbrush in their mouth, but never really brushing and having to go back multiple times to do the job completely.
Dumping all their clean laundry that is sorted and stacked in one drawer, vs separating it out into the appropriate spaces; socks/underwear, PJ's, tee shirts and pants drawers, and then freaking out because they have no clean socks. Which upon closer inspection one will find the socks are all in the bottom drawer where the pants should be, along with all of last week's clean laundry.
Closing a door, but never latching it - this can be the sliding glass door, the garage door into the house or the fridge and freezer doors.... any door is subject to not being latched (car doors are oft found hanging open the next morning from the previous evenings sports practice or evening activity.
Oh, I could go on but I think you get the picture. So fast forward to Friday - I have a great system set up for the storage of Rubbermaid storage containers. You stack the like size containers inside one another and there is a basket to collect ALL lids. After a hectic and later than anticipated dinner because of afternoon doctors appointments and running dwarfs to work, I sent all the remaining dwarfs away from the kitchen so I could regain my sanity. Cleaning up from dinner is often a good time to get some quiet time and refocus. Not the case on this particular night as I reached into the cupboard to retrieve the containers needed for storing the Chicken Alfredo leftovers.
The chaos that met my eyes was shocking. Things just tossed into the space, falling out on the floor as I opened the door, scattering everywhere. The harder I tried to contain the overflow, the worse it became. Sadly, this only escalate my exasperation and frustration. In one of my non finer moments, I came up off the floor to a standing position ranting and raving about how I was going to begin doing things HALF WAY. Oh, I wish I could say it stopped there... but because of my loud grunts and groans of frustration most of the kingdom had already appeared in the kitchen to see what was wrong... and so with as much calm as I could muster I laid out for them how things were going to start to change in the Land of Half Way, when I started doing things for them half way:
The conversation, one sided as it was, went something like this... "I am going to start doing things for each of you only half way, because with the few small things you are tasked with doing it takes you too much effort to do them correctly and to completion, daily you short step your responsibilities and you only do them half way. So, be prepared, as I take you to church, work, school functions or baseball practice I will drive you half way there, pull off on the side of the road and make you get out and walk the rest of the way. Understand that when it is your laundry day, I am only going to do your laundry half way. I will wash it, but will take all the wet laundry to your bed and lay it in a heap instead of finishing the job and placing it all in the dryer. I am going to prepare your dinner, but not cook it, you will be required to eat it cold, raw and crunchy. I am only going to help you find one shoe, if I find them both, I keep one, you wear the other. I am only going to give you half an answer to the question that you ask, I am only going to help you half the time that I feel like it, the rest of the time I am going to ignore you." While clearly this outburst had been building over time and was not pretty to witness, by the looks of shock and awe on their faces, I felt that it needed to be said.
We did chuckle about the fact that if we all half stepped things in life, we would have significant and burdensome consequences to face. The visual picture that I presented to them was vivid. Since they had not thought much about how every time they half step their way through an activity/chore that they know needs to be completed in a specific manner, they are making more work and increasing stress in those around them because eventually someone does have to step in and fix what they left undone. Leading to a conversation about taking the time to do something right the first time actually saves time in the long run. Did I get through???
I wish that I could say the message got through, however as of this morning, I was looking at the last four pieces of bread because no one indicated that they were eating from the last loaf of bread, and a dwarf stepped over an entire basket of his clean laundry when leaving the bathroom today, in search of something to wear to school... but as the Prince is fond of saying life is a marathon, not a sprint.
Really, you can't make this stuff up!
Friday night was the night, and the situation that lead to my meltdown has a bit of a back story. So follow along as I grow the story of life in the kingdom, of the Land of Half Way.
My dwarfs are all wonderful, amazing, thoughtful, kind and generous with their time... when they are with others. But in the kingdom of the Land of Half Way, this is what daily life tends to look like:
A pile of clean towels stacked outside the closed and locked bathroom door, with a wet, yet clean, dwarf on the other side of the door yelling that there are no towels, when they clearly had to hurtle the towels to get into the bathroom.
Dirty dishes coming out of the dishwasher, dried and crusty with food residue, being replaced in their proper, or close to it, storage spots, as such unclean... and dwarfs melting down about how disgusting it is that there are dirty utensils, bowls etc coming out of the cupboards when the go to get a snack or breakfast.
I can't find my _______________(you fill in the blank). Socks, gym uniform, ear buds, sneakers backpack, lunch box... however if each dwarf used the tools available to them to be successful in storing and staging their belongings and not being too lazy to use the shoe rack, the bag hooks, the separate personal laundry baskets, these conversations would be almost non existent in regular day to day conversation.
Taking the trash out of the can in the kitchen and walking it to the garage, not placing it in the out door cans and not replacing the bag with a clean fresh bag in the inside can.
Standing in front of the sink in the bathroom, with a toothbrush in their mouth, but never really brushing and having to go back multiple times to do the job completely.
Dumping all their clean laundry that is sorted and stacked in one drawer, vs separating it out into the appropriate spaces; socks/underwear, PJ's, tee shirts and pants drawers, and then freaking out because they have no clean socks. Which upon closer inspection one will find the socks are all in the bottom drawer where the pants should be, along with all of last week's clean laundry.
Closing a door, but never latching it - this can be the sliding glass door, the garage door into the house or the fridge and freezer doors.... any door is subject to not being latched (car doors are oft found hanging open the next morning from the previous evenings sports practice or evening activity.
Oh, I could go on but I think you get the picture. So fast forward to Friday - I have a great system set up for the storage of Rubbermaid storage containers. You stack the like size containers inside one another and there is a basket to collect ALL lids. After a hectic and later than anticipated dinner because of afternoon doctors appointments and running dwarfs to work, I sent all the remaining dwarfs away from the kitchen so I could regain my sanity. Cleaning up from dinner is often a good time to get some quiet time and refocus. Not the case on this particular night as I reached into the cupboard to retrieve the containers needed for storing the Chicken Alfredo leftovers.
The chaos that met my eyes was shocking. Things just tossed into the space, falling out on the floor as I opened the door, scattering everywhere. The harder I tried to contain the overflow, the worse it became. Sadly, this only escalate my exasperation and frustration. In one of my non finer moments, I came up off the floor to a standing position ranting and raving about how I was going to begin doing things HALF WAY. Oh, I wish I could say it stopped there... but because of my loud grunts and groans of frustration most of the kingdom had already appeared in the kitchen to see what was wrong... and so with as much calm as I could muster I laid out for them how things were going to start to change in the Land of Half Way, when I started doing things for them half way:
The conversation, one sided as it was, went something like this... "I am going to start doing things for each of you only half way, because with the few small things you are tasked with doing it takes you too much effort to do them correctly and to completion, daily you short step your responsibilities and you only do them half way. So, be prepared, as I take you to church, work, school functions or baseball practice I will drive you half way there, pull off on the side of the road and make you get out and walk the rest of the way. Understand that when it is your laundry day, I am only going to do your laundry half way. I will wash it, but will take all the wet laundry to your bed and lay it in a heap instead of finishing the job and placing it all in the dryer. I am going to prepare your dinner, but not cook it, you will be required to eat it cold, raw and crunchy. I am only going to help you find one shoe, if I find them both, I keep one, you wear the other. I am only going to give you half an answer to the question that you ask, I am only going to help you half the time that I feel like it, the rest of the time I am going to ignore you." While clearly this outburst had been building over time and was not pretty to witness, by the looks of shock and awe on their faces, I felt that it needed to be said.
We did chuckle about the fact that if we all half stepped things in life, we would have significant and burdensome consequences to face. The visual picture that I presented to them was vivid. Since they had not thought much about how every time they half step their way through an activity/chore that they know needs to be completed in a specific manner, they are making more work and increasing stress in those around them because eventually someone does have to step in and fix what they left undone. Leading to a conversation about taking the time to do something right the first time actually saves time in the long run. Did I get through???
I wish that I could say the message got through, however as of this morning, I was looking at the last four pieces of bread because no one indicated that they were eating from the last loaf of bread, and a dwarf stepped over an entire basket of his clean laundry when leaving the bathroom today, in search of something to wear to school... but as the Prince is fond of saying life is a marathon, not a sprint.
Really, you can't make this stuff up!
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