Dwarves

Dwarves

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Do you smell smoke?

Well the situation is this, we have a pyromaniac on our hands.  This pyro may be young, and cute, and seem, innocent, however, when there are opportunities to light something on fire, this dwarf can NOT stay away.

Last week I walk past the bottom of the stairs in our new home, that leads to four bedrooms and a bathroom on the second floor.  I think I smell something odd.  Sort of acid like, sort of sulfur like, but also odd at the same time.

I keep on task as I head to the laundry room, but a nagging thought lingers, "what is that smell?"   I head back to the stairs as Sneezy is coming down and I say, "do you smell that funny smell?" She replies that she does and she asked Sleepy about it, but Sleepy did not smell anything odd.  As I continue up the stairs, the smell is stronger, and is strongest at the top of the stairs.  I walk to the left toward the four of the dwarf's rooms and sniff... nothing.  Back to the center of the stairs and the landing, still a strong lingering odor.  Head right towards the media room and the other two dwarf's room... nothing.  Back to center. Still a lingering scent of oddness.  By now my canvasing the hallway, landing and stairs has caused a bit of  a stir... Grumpy is saying that whatever it is, it was not his fault and that he thinks it was Bashful. Bashful is claiming ignorance and can't even smell anything odd.  Sneezy is now insisting that the smell is coming from the bathroom.  I agree that is the only room I have not checked.

As I head in, clearly the smell is the strongest (even as it is rapidly fading) in the bathroom.  Here is where the detective work begins, because whomever was doing whatever, did a respectable job of hiding said evidence.  I begin my methodical search of the bathroom counters, mirrors, trash cans, and tub... I see nothing.  I am still at this time unsure what I am looking for, but feel confident that when I find it I will know.  Currently standing and staring at me are two remaining dwarfs, one fearful I will find out the truth and the other lurking because for once he is not the guilty party and wants to assist in bringing in the one who he thinks is guilty. 

Bashful has most recently exited the bathroom.  So I call him in and politely ask him what he was doing in the bathroom.  He indicates to me that he had not used the restroom at school that day and that he was going to the bathroom, but that he had washed his hands.  First red flag.  Bashful never, ever, ever washes his hands after using the bathroom, without being reminded.  So I ask if I can see his hands.  They are still soaked. Odd, I think to myself, since the hand washing that he participates in after being reminded rarely ever ends with his actual hands being in the water, just his finger tips.  The backs of his hands have water drops on them, and the drops are running down his forearm as he holds the hands up for inspection.  So now my alarm bells are in full gear.  He did something in the bathroom to make a big enough mess, that he actually had to wash his entire hand, fingers, backs and palms...  because he is a germaphobe... I now know that had to have touched something he finds to be disgusting while he was in the bathroom to warrant a full hand washing.

So, as casually as I can I glance at the toilet.  Which to my surprise is clean.  Any of you that have boys can attest to this...boys are messy in the bathroom.  Upon closer inspection, I now see one small spot of something on the toilet rim.  It is dark, and it is the size of a flea... I reach out to place it on the end of my finger, and it disintegrates, like the ash that it is...

I turn to Bashful and I ask, "What were you burning?" What?  Shocked and appalled that I would ask him, the most innocent of the innocents, what he was burning in the bathroom...  He responds with "Nothing. I was not burning nothing."  I shake my head to indicate to him that I understand completely.  That me finding an ash on the toilet was clearly a fluke.   I line up my second question.  " What were you flushing down the toilet?"  "Q-tips",  he responds.    I asked him my next question rapidly, because I would hate for him to figure out that he was being tricked into quick responding, " Were the Q-tips on fire?"  " I did not use a lighter."  says the dwarf.    "Ah...but they were on fire when you place them in the toilet correct?  "  Dang, now he knows that he has given himself away.  He tries to work his way out of the situation now claiming that he did not light anything or flush anything that was on fire while he was in the bathroom using it.  

To end the saga of the smell, I asked him where he got what he was using to light the Q-tips with.  He indicated that he " found" a pack of matches and just wanted to see what would happen when he lit them (the Q-tips) on fire.   I asked him if he knew that what he was doing was wrong, to which he relied that he did not.  So  I asked him why then he did not lite them on fire in the kitchen, where we were all working on homework and dinner.  That made him cry.

We all know that things done in secret are typically things that are wrong.  Bad for us, bad for others.  If we did not know that they were wrong or bad to do, we would be doing them in the open or in the light.  It really is my prayer for each of my children are able to see the difference between things done in the light and in the dark.  That the holy spirit would continue to impress upon them that if you feel that you must hide to do something, then you probably should not be doing that thing.  In this case Bashful should not have been lighting Q-tips with a match, watching them burn and then flushing them to extinguish them so he did not burn down the house.

You really Can't Make this Stuff Up !

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