Dwarves

Dwarves

Monday, November 25, 2013

I Quit!

Look, I am done! Over it! Finished!  I QUIT.  But before I do, here are my parting thoughts ...

When you have to move jackets to hang up your backpack or purse, know that those same jackets when placed on your body before your backpack will not only yield an empty hook upon your return home, on which your backpack can hang, but it will provide you with protection from the cold. When returning home at the end of your long hard day, the hook will be empty.  You can, with ease place your back pack or purse on said hook, and then top it off with your jacket. In doing so you will be set up for success every cold morning from here til spring, with the correct sequence for dressing for the weather, outerwear first, then backpack.

Bins of plenty overflow with offerings of gloves, hats, ear muffs and scarves. These selections, in my humble opinion, will match just about EVERYTHING you are own or are wearing.  I do believe that every color is represented in those selections. While I can not vouch for every glove having a match, why should your hands be boring - spice it up with two gloves, one of a different color for each hand.  This is not a foreign concept, you already do this with your socks...

When you walk into the garage and have to step around a mountain of snow boots, remember there is a pair that will fit you. When the flakes start to fly, bypass your open toed shoes and slides for the protective covering of fleece and weather resistant leather to keep your feet happy and warm.

However, should YOU decide to bypass all the efforts that the Prince and I have made to set you up for successful outdoor living in Central PA from now until spring, please know this...

I do NOT want to see you shivering, shaking or curling yourself up like a turtle inside your hoodie because you are too COOL for outerwear.  I will not listen to you complain about having cold feet, or hands.  I do not want to hear that your ears are cold and that the wind is blow straight through you. 
 
Friends, neighbors and family, when you see my dwarfs, dressed for the cold improperly, please know, they all have the proper equipment to prevent the chills, shivering, teeth rattling, blue lipped hypothermia that it seems they are experiencing.  They just made a choice NOT to utilize the tools provided.  I do wonder however, when did coats, hats and gloves become so un-cool? 

Clearly, I wish I were making this up.

3 comments:

  1. How on earth is being cold "cool" now?! LOL!

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  2. Oh dear. My son left for school this frigid morning in basketball shorts and a t-shirt. No coat, not even a hoodie. I feel your pain.

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